Really Important News

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These are news stories that I thought were important this week.

And this is my blog so I’ve decided that it’s  REALLY IMPORTANT NEWS.

First Up:

This story suggests water may still flow on Mars ‘ in brief spurts’. I don’t know what that means, but I hope that there is water on Mars and I hope that there are Martians to- bad ones- parked in the Martian desert somewhere just waiting for their chance to kick some Earthling backside like they did in the original  ” War Of The Worlds “.

Don’t feel all superior…we didn’t beat the Martians in that story. The Bacteria in the Earth’s atmosphere did the Martians in.

Yes indeed, tiny single cell life forms and they whupped the Martians who had space ships and ray guns.

There’s a lesson in there somewhere.

Next Up:

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Thousands of McDonalds French Fries caused a traffic jam on I-90 going over Snoqualmie Pass in Washington State. Go ahead, just let those words ( french fries, traffic jam ) wonder around you head for a minute. It’s enough to make you google French Fries and Snoqualmie Pass right now, isn’t it?

Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Okay, are you ready for another one?

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I live in Snohomish County, and we don’t get enough attention. No one knows we are here. I’m not talking about  the rest of the world I mean within the state of Washington

It’s all because of Seattle ( which is in, but some would say IS King County). Plus we don’t have anything like the Space Needle  up in Snohomish County or anyplace cool like Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe

Well try living next door to that, I mean unless come up with a club like the Solstice Cyclists aka the Naked Bicycle Riders, Snohomish County will continue to own the role as King County’s dateless sister who spends her weekends with her cats.

So I figure that someone up here just couldn’t take it anymore and they got a little too desperate for attention. In itself  that could explain why recently one of our Political Parties thought it would be a really great idea to run a Magician for the position of Snohomish County Executive. 

Hey I have nothing against Magicians. Harry Houdini is a hero of mine I’ve even written a story about a Werewolf who wants to become a  Magician in a Sideshow…but man, I was kidding.

So those were news stories I thought were important. I hope you found them as interesting as I did.

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What Would The CSI Guys Say?

Lizzie Borden- she was a woman- she was a killer -and she got away with two of the most hands on brutal killings in American History.

To refresh your memory, Lizzie lived in a state where  ( in 1692 anyway )  you could just accuse a woman of being a witch and have her executed…just like that.

Another thing to keep in mind is that in 1892 women ( including Lizzie ) didn’t even have the right to vote-

that didn’t happen until 1920.

Anway- I think she did it but to this day Lizzie has her supporters and they say she’s innocent.

One of the arguments in her defense- which I think underscores the fact that Lizzie was found innocent because of her sex- was based on the time lines established for the killings.

Lizzie’s  Stepmother was supposed to have been killed an hour or so before her Father.

The theory is that it was very unlikely that  someone ( like a WOMAN ) who inflicted that kind of damage on a  person with an AX could have left a dead mutilated body upstairs and gone on with her day  and then come back later and did the same to someone else.

Have you ever seen the pictures of Andrew Borden?

Whoever did that was good and angry, they had worked themselves up into a mindless rage and that kind of rage can happen in the blink of an eye or it can build up…

say…

over an hour or so.

Links:

Link Photos From: The Chancery House

And visit: Lizzie Borden Virtual Museum and Library

Hey Paris Hilton: Bust You!

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There are Three Good rock solid reasons  for why Paris Hilton needs to be sent back to jail:

She broke the law.

She broke the law.

She broke the law.

And as an FYI they don’t suspend your license for fun, it’s usually a sign you’ve got a problem like this guy.

So go back to jail Hilton, you aren’t singing any song that every single jail bird before you  hasn’t sung before. (I learned my lesson, I don’t belong here… etc etc ).  It doesn’t work for them and it sure as hell shouldn’t work for you.

Oh yes…I almost forgot… as Hilton sat at home eating celebration cupcakes ( I’m not kidding about that part )  her attorney issued this statement:

“I want to thank the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department and staff of the Century Regional Detention Center for treating me fairly and professionally,” she said. “I am going to serve the remaining 40 days of my sentence. I have learned a great deal from this ordeal and hope that others have learned from my mistakes.”

The only lesson we’ve learned here is that there’s Paris Hilton and the rest of humanity.

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Welcome To Roswell…

 

They’re having a party in Roswell

and in Roswell

when they say everybody  is welcome

….they mean EVERYBODY

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Click HERE to see the

Official Photo Logue!

 

Click  here To Reach

The official site

of

THE AMAZING ROSWELL UFO FESTIVAL 

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LASER TAG/ALIEN AUTOPSY 

 

 

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ALIEN ADULT DODGEBALL

TOURNAMENT

 

Most Important of all

 you’ll have the chance to defend the honor of your Planet

 at

The Alien Costume Contest

 (GO EARTHLINGS! )

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It’s not just a

 FESTIVAL

it’s going to be an adventure

Home Is Where The Heart Is

My Very Own Story about a house, a man and

a dream nightmare….

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Back along on Deception Road is a little farmhouse that no one lives in.

After the house was built and then put up for sale the orchard out back died, the little vegetable garden died and all of the pumpkins and squashes and tomatoes rotted right on their vines.

Even the flowers in the window boxes shriveled up and turned to dust within a day or so after they were set out and all the little farmhouse could do was slam its doors open and shut and make the clock in its kitchen strike twelve over and over again.

The man who built the farmhouse, Travis Janosik, use to stand out at the road and wonder what the hell was going on in there, why was it that nothing could live near that place without giving up the ghost.

There was nothing about Travis that would make you say, ‘you know that killer house? The one on Deception Road? It was built by Travis Janosik” and the person you would be talking to wouldn’t reply, “ Well of course it was a strange house. Look who built it.”

No, the house turned bad all by itself and this bothered no one more then Travis. What bothered him most of all  happened when the house was two years old.

That’s when someone actually bought it and moved in.

The ‘someones’ who bought the farmhouse were the Korbar Family.

Travis use to drive out to Deception Road and park across the way from the Farmhouse and watch it. He’d see Darius Korbar working the vegetable garden or see him sitting on the porch with one of the many children he and Mrs. Korbar had and they acted like any other family living in those hills.

Unless of course you really watched them the way Travis did.

At first he had no interest in the Korbar family. His interest was in that house and what it was up to now. It didn’t have to settle for killing plants and the odd field animal that got to close to its walls. Now it had the Korbar children who scuttled around the property in their ill-fitting clothes.

At least that’s how it looked but then Travis realized it wasn’t the clothes that didn’t fit right, it was the bodies inside the clothes that weren’t right.

The children’s heads were to large for their small bodies and their hands and feet didn’t seem to be the same size and when they talked Travis felt the hair rising up on his arms and the back of his neck and that’s when he’d cut his daily vigil off.

Once Travis saw Mrs. Korbar come down the front steps with a tall glass in her hand and make her way to the garden to where Mr Korbar was working. She handed him the glass and he kissed her cheek and then she made her way back up the steps and Travis watched her but didn’t notice that as she climbed the steps her head was tilted slightly backwards and her back was straight as a pole and she never bent her knees.

It was like she was gliding up the steps and not walking up them at all.
Towards the end of the summer the gardens were dead and rotten and Mr Korbar was out there working it like it as if it were alive and thriving. The ground was water logged and moldy with green slime. The vegtables were rotting and decayed and you could actually smell it when the wind shifted.

On top of the fact that Travis was watching a man harvest from a garden full of rotten vegetables he was also sure that some of that smell was coming from Mr Korbar too.

Travis promised himself after that visit he wouldn’t go near the Farmhouse on Deception Road. Something was wrong with it, something was wrong with the people living inside of it and Travis was certain if he didn’t stop going over there something would be wrong with him too.

Of course, it was too late because that something had already happened to Travis and he found himself standing at the end of the drive leading right up to the Farmhouse the next day.

He was in plain view and Mrs. Korbar must have seen him from one of her windows because he wasn’t there for long before she came down the steps and met him with a basket of rotting carrots and maggot filled tomatoes on her arm.

“ We never got the chance to thank you for building this wonderful house Mr Janosik. Its perfect and we love it so.”

Travis was looking into the basket of dead and decaying vegetables and he said, “ How could you love it so? Nothing can live inside of that thing…”

And Mrs. Korbar said, “ Well, Mr Janosik nothing does…”

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He Has The Right To Your Life

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So this guy who has a dangerous strain of TB flies around the world spreading his little microbes o’ death like screwed up wedding confetti and  the CDC  gets out ahead of this thing and tells people not to worry – which on it’s face is pretty weird considering they don’t exactly release feel good stories on a regular basis.

And then we find out maybe that’s because:

(from Yahoo news )….

The honeymooner quarantined with a dangerous strain of tuberculosis was identified Thursday as a 31-year-old Atlanta personal injury lawyer whose new father-in-law is a CDC microbiologist specializing in the spread of TB and other bacteria. 

Okay, I’m officially stunned. 

But I’m getting away from the point I wanted to make. 

What I wanted to say is that I wish I HAD been on the plane next to this guy and that at some point he had coughed into my face.

Why?

My Goodness, to have sat next to the man whose life is more important then anyone else’s life on the entire planet?

I’d have been honored.

Original Story Here

The Light Goes On

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I’ve spent the afternoon drafting short stories for my blog

Anita’s Owl Creek Bridge.

At one point

I realized I had spent the day thinking about

ghosts and devils and curses

witches and cannibals

and clever ways

to bump people off.

I looked around to make sure

no one was watching

and then I laughed.