This video is just, wrong, wrong, wrong….but it’s fun all the same.
Enjoy
Life
You Did Not Say That!
I’ve kept a list of the questions that I’ve gotten into trouble for
asking
I thought I’d post them because today
was way to quiet
and
after the week I’ve had
I’m sort of missing the Legions of Hell snapping at my backside so….
! HERE THEY ARE !
What does it feel like to be a conjoined twin?
If your eye pops does it ooze out onto your face
or into your brain?
When a cannibal gets something stuck
in their teeth do they eat it
or spit it out?
Does a human kidney taste the same as a sheep’s kidney?
If you see a plunger at sewage treatment plant
should you be worried?
So
there they are…the little questions that have kept me out of the
better social circles.
How Evil Am I?
|
YOU ARE 14% EVIL !!!!DARN!!!! |
Bumbo 3 Preview and Debut
Just when I’d given up….
IT RETURNS!
( preview below )
And just in case you need to catch up with us cool kids:
You can see the Bumbo Collection HERE
God IS Funny
Well Hello There!
You came by to go to Church with Anita?
Anita The I.B. Writer?
Are you kidding?
I thought she was banned…oh she prays on line.
I get it.
Well she’s not here,
Look, she left a note- you want to read it?
Yeah, she wrote it on the wall in purple crayon…she’s been in a mood this week.
Right…I know, I know it says ” God ” but she’s been looking at everyone and saying, ” God ” or ” Jesus Christ “- so you know I’m sure it’s okay.
Dear God
I thought you might be dropping by for a Chat.
To be honest I haven’t even thought about
what made this long freaking week you cursed me with
a good one.
I know that I’m good for a laugh now and then God
but for once,
I’d like somebody else to be the butt of your jokes.
Oh wait….you know…I guess you DID have some fun
with someone else…
like with these guys:
By KOMO Staff
SKAMANIA COUNTY, Wash. — Seven of the ten county sheriff’s deputies who spent Saturday night stranded on Dog Mountain has been successfully rescued, according to the Skamania County Sheriff’s Office.
The men had become stranded on the rugged gorge terrain after becoming disoriented while pulling thousands of marijuana plants from a grow on the east side of Dog Creek, 10 miles east of Stevenson, Undersheriff David Cox said.
And really God did you think it was funny when that guy in Prosser got bit by the rattlesnake after he chopped it’s head off?
I mean, that’s just warped.
And then this guy says, “It still gives me the creeps to think that son-of-a-gun could do that,” he said.
I didn’t laugh at that God, but I’ll bet you did.
And then there was this story in our Local Paper
where the burning question was
” Should Your Spouse Go (to your highschool) Reunions “
and really God
the obvious answer is
“Only if they don’t want you to be going to their Funeral
in the upcoming weeks.”
Funny God
Har, Har, Har.
Okay God…it’s true Prayer is good for the Soul
I just figured out you didn’t spend all week picking on me.
So you might want to check your toothpaste God.
SOMEBODY may have replaced it with a tube of hemroid cream
SORRY
I mean
See you next Sunday
( if I don’t get turned into a pillar of salt before then )
AND
Amen
Reality Blows Along Lake Union
Over the weekend there was this big secret event being staged at a public park ( which wasn’t going to be a Public Park for this event ) in Seattle, Washington and it was the talk of the town.
What was the secret?
A Wedding Party
A big Wedding Party for a big businessman and may he and his bride have a great life together but….
Geeze
THAT WAS THE BIG FREAKING SECRET?
So to try and put some air back into that big wonderful mysterious balloon that floated over the Puget Sound over the weekend
I’ve decided to tell my own story about what happened at
Enjoy:
From The Dark Waters of Lake Union
they arrived at the abandoned park just before sundown
members of the Wedding Party
and their Guests
who were followed in by the Bride and Groom
You wish them well…DON’T YOU?
Wouldn’t that have been a story to have read about? I think so.
Oh well.
Maybe next time…..
Irregular Notes From An Irregular Mind
I have a great collection of post it notes that I keep in my journal (it’s made of paper and I actually WRITE in it). Some of them are funny, some are warped, and some could get me sued so I thought I’d share them here.
amm
To be attached to a flaming arrow and air mailed to that guy:
Your dog doesn’t hate black people, you do. Quit saying that.
I mean it.
However, my Cat DOES hates you and if you keep trying to pet him he’s going to chew your fingers off and then how will you be able to give the finger to that nice Mexican family that everyone likes except for you?
Think about it
Notes to my friends:
YES YES YES the story about the woman who committed suicide around Halloween of 2005 by hanging herself at the side of the road and was mistaken for a Halloween decoration is true.
Stop asking me if when I die I want to be mistaken for a Halloween Decoration too- you warped little monkeys.
You all better hope there really is nothing to the art of Zombification because I have a candidate list all drawn up and here it is….
Ha.
As if.
In regards to my hometown:
It’s true, if you google Mountlake Terrace and look through the pictures of my fair town you’ll find this picture mixed in with pictures of churches and trees and houses for sale and a baby in a flowerbed.
Figures.
Parasitic Mite on Earwig Pincher –
Next Up…I’ll do a post about the calls that get left on my answering machine.
You’re going to love it.
amm
Sigh No More
I know this person who has lied and deceived, mislead and shamelessy used people to get what they wanted.
They chased good people away from important casues because they didn’t want to be moved from the spotlight.
Today I found out this person is dieing.
The problem is, this person has lied about their illness before so that they could get what they wanted.
No kidding.
I’m not sure how to feel, or how to act.
I guess
I’ll have to wait and see if and when the funeral is going to be held.
I won’t be going to it though.
Right now I know exactly what the expression
” Lower then a snake’s belly “
means
because that’s how I feel right now.
Biting The Dog
I have this rule about Fridays- I don’t take any crud with me from the week into the weekend or the bright shiny new week that starts on Monday.
Except for this time.
There were little things and big things that were done to my friends and family that- you know -I do believe I’ll deal with.
What changed you may be wondering.
I can’t ignore the fact that there are some things that people say or do
that have to be answered for and accounted for.
So why I have made an exception
this time?
Because now I’m a writer with BIG imagination.
See Ya.
amm
An I.B. Screaming- I mean Screening
The Management…that’s Anita
wants this to go out as
a
PSA
the guys who normally do the PSA’s
are hiding.
They’ll pay for that.
Count on it.
Anyway…
She says this is art
and fine film making
and needs to be shared with the world.
Kill Me God.
Now.
Irregular Bones 