Do you know what happened on March 2, 2009?
A ‘surprise’ asteroid flew 41,010 miles (66,000 kilometers) above the Earth.
That’s right, it was called a ‘surprise’ by
By The Way our ‘surprise’ has a name-
it’s called:
2009 DD45
SURPRISE!
I’d have named it Baxter.
Baxter The Flaming Surprise.
Someone needs to put me in charge of this stuff.
When I was about seven or eight I remember this conversation that my Grandfather was having with a neighbor.
We were in Pioneer Square in downtown Seattle when my Grandfather points up to some windows and tells his friend that there’s this really stupid City Ordinance that’s still on the books and it involves Flower Pots.
” What’s that? “
“You can’t have them in this area, it’s illegal.” my Grandpa says.
” No kidding, why is that? “
” Well, you know back in the Gold Rush days the Prost-” and my Grandpa looks down at me and I could see see how bad he wanted to tell this story, but I thought he forgot the important part because his face got red.
” Uh. “
” What about the Flower Pots? ” me and his friend asked at the same time.
” Well the- you know- the ladies- dancing ladies, used to wait for their- well, Gentlemen Friends to leave the building and after they did the dancing ladies would drop the flower pots on their heads from the windows above the street. After they were sure they’d knocked them out cold they’d rob them.”
” No kidding. ” his friend says.
” Dancing Ladies used to throw flower pots on people’s heads ? ” I asked while hoping against hope that the answer would be yes.
I could see it clear as day- women in fancy dresses leaning out of their windows and dropping clay flower pots right on top of someone’s head.
It sounded like a great way to spend the afternoon to me.
My Grandfather takes a deep breath and says, ” Yes.”
It sounded to good to be true.
The funny thing is:
It was true.
Really.
I have a question about Mondays.
Who the Hell invented it and who the Hell decided to invite it into the Week?
Seriously. Answer me this: what good are Mondays?
Is anyone ever really glad to see it come around and once it does
does anyone ever say,
” oh wow look everyone it’s MONDAY! Where the heck have you been? “
No.
We just open the door to the week and say, ” Oh f$%^! It’s you!”
So.
In this age of ” Yes We Can “
I say we ditch Monday and just start with Tuesdays.
For Now.
Here’s a little fun little story to take into the weekend with you
I’ve been TOLD it’s true.
All I can say is…please God…let it be so..
Photograph By: Joelle Ligon
Once I heard a story about Seattle-
It was all about toilets-
of course the minute I heard that I was all ears.
::So here is the story:::
Once Upon A Time
in Seattle
everyday
when the tide would come in
all of the toilets along the waterfront would back up and then explode.
The End.
I love Seattle.
Do you hear me?
LOVE IT
So today on my answering machine are calls from
Mortgage Companies
who want me to take advantage of low low interestsrates.
And right after those calls
is a call from someone who wants to talk to me about
Purchasing
Pre Planned Funeral Arrangements.
I toyed with the idea of leaving them all each other’s phone numbers tonight.
You know.
I think I will.
a.m.
LYNNWOOD (WA).– An espresso stand featuring semi-nude baristas that opened next to a preschool and across the street from an elementary school is raising hackles. Story HERE
The Mayor of Lynnwood says this is a ‘touchy’ subject and someone left a comment on this article that reads in part: Please quote the portion of the article that says children can see naked breasts from the school.
You know, why a million more of these stands didn’t open up in Lynnwood right after this article appeared in the Herald I will never know.
So.
What do I think about Coffee being served by girls in their underwear down the hill from where I live?
I hope they don’t spill any on themselves, that stuff is hot.
Yeah.
That’s about it.
There are a lot of reasons why, if you’re going to start kicking the proverbial dog around the block you should not do it out in public.
I was at this snack place when a person I talked to occasionally starts ranting and raving and fuming to me about, ” Obama bailing out those slackers and scammers and rewarding them by buying them a house with OUR tax money. “
” Really. We shouldn’t help to keep people in their homes, we should go let them live on the streets.” I said.
” Hey. They made bad choices. They deserve it.”
That’s harsh. So even though we have the ability to help them, we shouldn’t. ” I asked just wanting to make sure I understood the conversation.
” That’s the way it is.”
” So even though the ability to help is there, we should just not use it.”
” It’s about people thinking they’re entitled to things when they’re not. You just don’t get it.”
” You know, I get it. Really. Like I know CPR- so if you were having a heart attack I could help you. But do you know what? You didn’t take care of yourself so why should I take time out of my day to reward you by putting air into your lungs and massaging your heart ? “It sounds like you may have made some pretty rotten choices in life that damaged your heart and it’s not up to me to bail you out right?”
………….
Well.
Am I right?
Oh! Hurrah!
Nobody I know lost their job today.
So to celebrate
here’s a really nice picture of
-David Tennant-
Poor David, whenever things get bad around here I totally forget to pay attention to him.
I’m such a bad, bad fan.
Today on my bus ride home I was talking to a few of my friends about things-
and one of them asked if I was writing about how bad things are with the economy and how it’s affecting our lives.
I said:
” I just wrote a story about a woman who sews her face on every day. “
There was this silence and I figured I hadn’t explained myself very well so I go on:
” She’s really bad at it.”
No one would say anything.
” No one will help her- so you know, she spends all day in front of a mirror trying to sew her face on. She’s alone and faceless. So yeah, I guess I am writing about how bad things are.
Call me negative but I’ll bet nobody will talk to me on the bus ride home tomorrow.
Some people count when they are angry and want to cool down.
Some people count sheep when they’re having trouble falling asleep-
neither of things things ever worked for me because I have a total phobia where numbers are concerned and I stress out like you wouldn’t believe when I have to think about them.
So what do I do?
When I get down or angry or have trouble falling asleep I go over the stages of Decomposition.
Look.
It works.
And if you want to try it sometime yourself here they are:
Fresh-
algor mortis sets in
Bloat
Body goes through rigor and livor will be fixed
Active Decay
The body begins to break down at the face and then down to the chest and then to the hands and feet. Active Decay moves faster in warm moist climates and slower in cold climates.
Dry Remains
All soft tissue is gone, only the bones remain. Skeleton maybe intact depending on weather or animal activity. In drier climates the skeletal frame may still be covered by a fine layer of skin.
Um.
I mean
….OM…..
I can feel it working already.
Irregular Bones 