Do you know what happens to suburbanites who can’t get to the Mall during things like Snowstorms and power outages and floods?
They get Cabin Fever.
That’s what some of my friends told me they had after being stuck at home during the snow storms and cold we had here in Washington State- which was funny. Not the snow part but them using phrases like ‘Cabin Fever’.
I don’t think most of them have ever seen a real cabin- unless it was on one of those TV stations that shows reruns of “Little House On The Prairie “
Anyway- what they went through was not a pretty sight.
Back to the story- as I listened to these ordeals I learned something new- ” Cabin Fever ” is no longer ‘a slang term for a claustrophobic reaction that takes place when a person or group is isolated and/or shut in, for an extended period’ it is now code for ” I couldn’t get to the Mall.”
Let me tell you, nothing is more sad then to witness another human being stripped of the thing that gives them purpose in life, a goal, satisfaction- a reason for being.
Oh.
And Pleasure.
The Mall.
If it were a Woman men would kill for it and if it was a Man women would have surgery for it.
Come on, you know it’s true.
Anyway.
As I listened to my friends describe their own versions of being trapped in ” Hell House” I thought of all of those Sci-Fi Movies where we get invaded and totally slapped down by Bugs that wear spacesuits and realized how unlikely that sort of thing was- but not for the reasons you may think.
I thought that if Aliens came down from outer space and landed on the freeway and the Army ( or would it be NASA or the Air Force or Homeland Security? ) had to shut down I-5 and cut off access to Alderwood, Northgate, and Westlake Mall those Invaders would get their Space Suited Hineys whipped and kicked all the way back to their homeplanets as a bunch of Soccer Moms chased after them while waving their Blackberrys in the air and screaming, ” Move this thing off the freeway you jackasses, I have A LIFE !”
It’s sad to think that some of us wouldn’t hock a loogie on another human being if they were on fire- but they would beat back the Devil and all of his minions with their bare hands to get to a sale at Macy’s.
I don’t think some people developed Cabin Fever during the storm and went a little nuts.
I don’t think that at all.
Washington Territory's first Lunatic Asylum 1888
Irregular Bones 
Personally I think anyone coming down with a confirmed case of Cabin Fever should be shot until dead, dead, dead then their body should be burned in an industrial incinerator. And their dog too.
I didn’t think many men liked shopping?
We mostly call them ‘shopping centres’ over here instead of malls but whatever they are I HATE them. prefer to purchase as much of my food as possible from the local greengrocer. and am fortunate that I live within walking distance of a street that has almost everything you need in a village atmosphere: pharmacy, butcher, clothes, newsagency, florist, bottle shop, cobbler, dvd store, hairdresser, cafe, chicken shop and half a dozen restaurants.
I live a ten minute walk from Bronte Beach and a 15 minute drive from the centre of Sydney’s CBD. hey anita, why don’t you come visit? we’ve got it all here. and I could take you to the Museum of Pathology too…
LOL!
A relativeof mine who lives in a tiny town near Portland has snowed in since December 13. Fortunately she has enough food to last a little while. As long as she has an internet connection I think she will be fine. I guess it’s all in what you consider important.
Garbriel- you got it in one, except for the dog part.
I like dogs.
and that clip for Cabin Fever…
N.M.- it could happen, I have a plan for some travels this year
Hey Lori, I live three LONG blocks from a Grocery store so we were set, and the entire time I was there, wasn’t pretty. I truly, truly hate shopping.
Especially when starving, snow-bound people are fighting over the Pringles and the Pez……….
PS: I won’t mention that it’s going to be 70 degrees here today. No, I won’t… that would be mean.
Um. Does it count being stuck inside ‘cos its too HOT outside and you will burn your hands on the steering wheel and bum on the seat cos the car is about to supernova?…38 degrees centigrade here yesterday. That asylum looks kinds homey….could use a place like that if my darling 2yo doesn’t lose that %#&*ing kazoo soon. I’m with Nursey….I live in a small town and big shopping centres freak me out.
Lori- do you know you can have PEZ delivered VIA UPS?
Yes. Yes indeed you can 🙂
Hi Cle, when we were kids we always used to make jokes about winding up in Western, you know until a few of us did ( yikes ) – I think that the modern version has a Mum-Wing and if they don’t I’m willing to help build one- it’s the least I can do for what I put my own Mom through.