I’m not a hard person to shop for at Christmas- I don’t care about stuff, I just like opening the packages and being surprised.
Which means that I’m really hard to shop for because people think that I won’t say what I want…and when I do give it up and say what I want those same people think I’m kidding so these are the things that I have asked for and have never, ever received and probably never will.
Knives.
I wanted a set of those fancy knives that all good Cooks have in their kitchens.
I’m actually a great cook and I’d have to be because I use one knife and it’s never been sharpened. So really I can work miracles in the kitchen.
In case you’re curious
I will probably never get a set of knives from anyone I know because I write about people getting their heads chopped off… A LOT…oh and I was a Mortician.
And I have a temper.
Next:
I have asked and asked and ASKED again for a
Fiji Mermaid.
Yes I AM serious.
I think they’re cool.
And after 35+ years of asking I haven’t seen a Monkey /Fish toy, model, picture or keychain under my Christmas tree.
I suppose I will never get a Fiji Mermaid because- geeze I don’t know, I guess it’s because when I’ve been asked, ” Are you serious? ” I just roll my eyes around and walk off.
Something with Two Heads.
Actually what I wanted was a Pickled Punk.
I wanted something in a jar that I could name Bixy or Lil’ Chunkles and all I know is that after years of begging I have an empty shelf in my room with no Jar…oh wait I do have one full of fake eyes that float in water but that doesn’t count because I bought it for myself.
I can’t explain the Pickled Punk no show under the tree situation. I guess there’s no way anybody in my family is going to go to a store and asked for something dead in a jar to give to someone at Christmas…even if that someone is me.
Well.
I can’t fault my nearest and dearest for not twisting Santa’s otherwise open and giving hand to give me the present of my dreams-
I did it to myself.
I just ask for weird stuff.
So.
This year I’m going traditional.
This year I’m asking for something old fashioned.
Okay.
Fingers crossed everyone
and
Merry Christmas!
Irregular Bones 
lol. hilarious. Like the blog.
Oh yea, please help my friends and I settle our differences once and for all at:
http://thetossup.wordpress.com/
I’d really appreciate it.
A Pickled Punk, can you get those where you live, I’d love one of those.
But not as much as I’d love that set of knives in the first picture, now they look like they would do some serious cutting in the kitchen.
I had a nice Knife once, I got given it by a friend, thing is living in a village is everyone shares everything. So it wasn’t long before my Knife ( I say my but at the end of the day whats mine is theirs and theirs is mine) anyway it wasn’t long before the knife was down on the beach picking shellfish off the rocks and sure enough the knife was never the same ever again. Oh Well!
I covet those knives too
So you want a burping cat? Right?
A couple of years ago I asked for a Santoku knife (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santoku) and I got it. I guess my relatives get me pretty well, which, when you think about it, is very scary.
Even if you don’t get the knives, you are getting pirate boots, don’t forget. You should give some points for that.
Kevin your blog was fun! I vote for Dominos.
Fevah I can’t wait to read more of your blog- you tell a great story.
N.M 😉
Cle- Yes. Yes I do.
L. I’m working on the boots. Tho’ I may have caused distractions with my request for a Pickled Punk. Well. See. Sigh.
Okay,sigh, back to Harrods…..