Where have I been?

Funny One God.

Let’s Get to it, shall we? 

 

So God, I was surfing the net for Halloween stuff and I kept running across these stories about Christians wanting to ” take Halloween back ” or asking if they should celebrate it at all.”

Here’s the short answer. 

No.

Okay God?

Just in case that’s not clear enough here’s the long answer:

No! No! No!

I don’t go into church and make everybody in there read Stephen King and I don’t make the Congregation dress up like zombies or ghouls for Sunday Services and I happen to think that some of those Church songs are nice so I would never make them sing those ” Haunted Favorites ” with the sound effects in the background ( let’s face it though, I bet more people would go if ….never mind ) Okay…so tell them alright? I mean, don’t they have to listen to you? Isn’t that in the rule book  Bible somewhere?

Yeah…I thought so.

Now the second thing I want to chat about are these Wonker Heads that sent me hate mail just because I believe in Human Rights.

I know they’re your children God and you love them- probably in the same way I loved that Cyclops Kitten. It was so deformed and helpless and must have been so afraid that you just couldn’t not care about it.

But Christ, could you make sure they use spell check? Like if one of these er, individuals, take the time to write me a letter and threaten me the very least you could make them do is run spell check so that the fake name those Chuckle-Heads use is spelled right.

Yeah, okay it is funny but still.

And forgive me God because in the spirit of Halloween I told someone an Urban Legend was a true story even though I knew it wasn’t.

Which one?

It was the one about the woman who goes to Mexico and  after she gets back this boil on her face pops open and hundreds of baby spiders crawl out.

Hey, don’t get all Godly on me, the person I messed lost her last brain cell to bleach about 30 years ago and she always calls me ” Sen-your-eada “

She knows I don’t like her, so why she asked me about this one is weird. I’m guessing it’s because ” Sen-your-eada  Ahneeeedah ” ( as she likes to call me)  looks like one of them ” Mexican People ” and she probably thinks  I’d know all about Mexican Infestations “

Hear My Prayer Lord….please have her ask me another….please?

And see you here next Sunday…got that…here…

Oh almost forgot….

aaaaahhhhmennn.