Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.
Benjamin Disraeli
I was power washing homeless person vomit from off my loading dock today when from out of nowhere I remember this news story about a person who just won the lottery and they said,
” It’s not going to change me, I’m not giving up my job. ”
Man, why apologize for winning? And what is it with this humble thing? You didn’t win the lottery because you’re a good person. You just happened to get the right number or the right ticket and it doesn’t care who you were before you pulled it.Heaven knows I don’t either. Besides if I had won that drawing I’d look like the least deserving person on the face of the planet to win anything.
I wouldn’t be able to help myself.
So as I’m washing the vomit away I figure I might as well hose the pigeon yack from the railing while I’m at it.
And then as the water splashed up from the ground into my face I thought to myself “Oh sure, if I won the lottery I’d want to keep the vomit and my ugly face too. I live for getting the short end of the ‘stick o-life’ jabbed in my eye every darned day. Ooooo, I wouldn’t want to part with any of that!
But I’m honest; I’d look into the camera and say after the reporter asks the question (I would of course be wearing my celebratory Deely Boppers with the little shrunken heads on the tops) and I’d say with sincerity:
“I won’t be in to work because I intend to be on the first plane to California in the morning just in time for that guy who has a TV show about Plastic Surgery to open his office. Count on it, a month from now I fully intend be a brand new Anita who doesn’t have to hose vomit and bird poop from off of a loading dock anymore.
As to my future plans I’m going to be visiting places like Roswell, The Pez Museum and I’m going to Nevada to hang out near Area 51 and get sunburn. At some point in there I’m going to buy about a dozen of those bat house kits and nail them up all over my yard- just to drive my neighbor nuts. If he were smart he’d sell me his house before I get the Honey Bee Farm delivered.
Why?
He hates my cat…anyway-
My life won’t be about enrichment, it’s going to be all about living- which in case you haven’t noticed
YOU CAN’T DO IF YOU’RE WORKING IN A PLACE WHERE YOU NEVER SEE THE DAMNED SUN AND YOU HAVE TO HOSE VOMIT FROM THE STEPS OR YOU COULD SLIP IN THE SLIME AND BREAK YOUR NECK!”
Then I’d laugh, kiss the camera and do the Hula.
And I wouldn’t stop carrying on until they put me down with a tranqualizer dart.
Count on it.
Irregular Bones 
Too right!
“Winning the lottery won’t change me!” … my a__e!
If our bank account took a cash injection of millions you can be damned sure we’d change our life-style … even if we wouldn’t necessarily change our location.
Of course, we’re that tight-fisted we’d still live like we’re on the breadline 😆
Exactly Alasdair
When you think about it, we put so much into ‘earning a living’ we don’t get to LIVE.
Well, I’d spend time living…now that I would pursue with some serious reckless abandon.
amm
Well, I wouldn’t tell anyone about winning and here’s why: I wouldn’t be able to trust anyone. I would be asking “are they being nice to me just because I’m rich?”
No, but I would give out a portion to some deserving cause (determined by me),
buy some luxury items (a house is a luxury item where I live),
and put some away some money in a high yield account for a rainy day (it hasn’t rained for two years here but I’ve been watching the news).
After that, then maybe I would sit down with the PTB at work and say “let’s change a few things around here, shall we?”
You’re so sublte and smart Lori
Not me.
I’d go bonkers.
amm
If I won the lottery I’d give you half just to see you kiss the camera and do the hula until they shot you down with the tranq gun.
And I hear ya about the ufo stuff. My husband records every single show on tv about ufos.
Hey Kitty
Cause you’re a friend, if you won the lottery I’d do the same for a life supply of Pez 🙂
Oh guess what…I have to go to Nevada for Political thing and guess what I’m going to do on one of those days…check it out HERE
“And I wouldn’t stop carrying on until they put me down with a tranqualizer dart.”
You so crack me up.
Wellll….I hope they’d use a tranq dart- wow, obviously I hadn’t thought THAT one through.
[on floor]