Writing

Don’t Mess With The Google Man

/ Anita Marie / 6 Comments

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Okay.

Fun is fun,

 I know people have been asking Google dumb questions just to see what sort of answers it will spit out.

My friend Terry- who in a court of law could be convicted of robbing me of the five minutes of my life that are gone forever-  talked me into doing this thing:

I was supposed  to ask for the Directions to London ….from New York.

I’ve learned three things from this incident:

1. If Terry ever sends me a message again that starts out with the line ” Try this ” I’m going  to stab myself in the head with a pen to stop myself from ‘trying this’.

And if I do it, I’m going to stab myself in both of my eyes with pens for being so stupid as to fall for that line a second time.

2. According to Google IF YOU DRIVE FROM NEW YORK TO LONDON it will take you 29 days and 10 Hours

3. If you haven’t got the hint yet and realized Google is fully aware that you’ve just made the Cyber Version of a crank phone call to their house in the middle of the night-  then I should add that they direct you to turn right on Central Street, after you do that you are to take another right at Long Wharf….

then Google tells you to start swimming.

That is SO much more subtle then telling someone to go and jump in a lake.

Google….they know all and they see all and if you mess with them they’ll mess you up back.

 

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Art Is So Funny

/ Anita Marie / 14 Comments

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I had this picture above my desk at work and people used to like to stop and take a look at it ( it’s a seemingly refreshing change from the pictures of devils and tombstones that I’ve tacked to my ” wall of weird ” over the years ).

Then one day a co-worker stopped by and  gushed about the lovely old photo- the composition, the art, the meaning behind the picture.

” She’s dead ” I said.

” Well, ” my co-worker snapped ” of course she’s probably dead by now- that’s a really old picture ”

” Listen, ” I said ” SHE IS DEAD. She was dead when they took the picture, she was dead when they developed the picture,  she was dead when they framed the picture. That is a picture of a DEAD WOMAN.

” No she isn’t ”

” Yeah- I’m pretty sure sure she is ” I said.

Now days I could hang a dead moose from my wall  and I can promise you not one single person is going to stop by my desk to ask me about it.

They’d ignore it- even if it attracted flies and it smelled really, really bad. I’m pretty sure people would be very happy to  pretend like it wasn’t there hanging from paper clips and staples ( which is  all I have at my desk ) decomposing away.

Art is SO funny.

The Whip Cracketh For Thee

/ Anita Marie / Leave a comment

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So I promised myself I’d post something once a day here and I drop the ball on day two because I had some Political Obligations to meet.

I don’t mind doing these things- being involved in Politics prepared me for the world of writing in one very unexpected way-

In politics if you say you’re going to do something people may call you a flake or a nut or they’ll  pray  ( like the old saying goes there are no atheists in the foxholes ) like crazy you will drop dead but for the most part you get taken seriously- in other words they have no doubt if you say you’re going to go for a goal you’re going to do exactly that.

So when I decided to start writing it didn’t occur to me to say to myself…’gee what if I’m not good enough?’ or ‘what if no one cares’ or ‘ who do I need to get approval from? ‘

In my Universe if you announce  you have a plan some people  will  make it their mission in life to ‘take you down’ some will even support you.

Some will just send you nasty e-mails or send their friends after you…but I digress-

I don’t  hear this much if ever at all ” oh gee that’s a sweet dream Anita but lots of people try to do that…and the chances that you’ll pull it off are next to nothing.”

Politics taught me there are no sweet dreams- just hard reality and that there really are monsters, there really are good people and if you don’t have a sense of humor you’ll lose your sense of hope.

So here’s to hope.