NOW HERE’S A TASTE….READ THIS BOOK…IN THE DARK…I DARE YOU
amm
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On Halloween Night we used to love to do things like test drive Mortality.
Here’s how we did it:
Blood Mary
You know that legend about Bloody Mary? You’re supposed to stand in front of a mirror, in the dark ( well, use some candles I mean- duh- if you can’t see what’s going on you’re out of luck ) and chant the name ” Bloody Mary ” three times- then she comes out of the mirror and kills you.
I’m not sure how she does it- though I’m guessing sharp objects are involved.
I think the idea is to get somebody you don’t like to do this- but I could be wrong.
We tried it- doesn’t work
but it was fun.
The Girl At The Side Of the Road
Every Halloween some Dead Prom Queen is supposed to be on some road waiting for somebody to give her a ride home
From what I understand this story involves a girl who dies in a car accident on her way home from the Prom and somebody will pick her up and drive her home and when they get there they turn to the back seat and she’s gone and her parents come out to tell you her sad story.
We went looking for her too- but we decided if we found her we’d make her go ” Shoulder Tapping ” with us.
Shoulder tapping is what we called it back in the 70’s when you’d hang around in front of the 7-11 and try to get people to buy beer for you- which shows you how smart we were- we always did it in our neighborhood so we were always sober by the end of the night.
And we didn’t see a ghost either.
Darn.
Thirteen Steps To Hell
We have at least two cemeteries here in Washington with stories about how in one crypt or in one grave there are Thirteen Steps Leading to Hell. The Doorway to the steps is guarded by a Witch who will give you the Second Sight if you sell your Soul to the Devil who is waiting for you at the bottom of the 13 Steps to finalize the deal.
To bad the Sight doesn’t kick in before you get to the Bottom of The 13 Steps.
Then You’d see clear as day that the Devil takes you to Hell and if your plan was to rule the world with your Powers- you are so going to be disappointed- toasty- but very disappointed.
Message From The Beyond
Everyone goofs off with a Ouji Board on Halloween.
Everyone knows those things are demonic.
Everyone doesn’t get together three or so friends, agree on a phone number
as the ‘message’
let their inncoent bystander ( and former ) friends call it
only to let them learn they’re dialing
the intake desk at a local Mental Hospital.
Hey, it’s funny-and like I said you shouldn’t mess with those things…
and on Halloween of all Nights.
Dingbats.
To end this up let me remind you:
Life is short-
Enjoy Halloween and all the
rest of the year too
amm
In the spirit of the upcoming holiday (I don’t mean my birthday…I mean Halloween) I thought I’d post some nifty Halloween Related Urban Legends from now until the BIG DAY.
I’ve decided to start with
The Toilet Monster
The toilet monster is a girl named Carmen who was pushed down into a sewer by her classmates and died. Carmen Whitehead lived in Indiana, so the story goes- and for some reason it’s important to mention that so I did.
Okay…back to the story.
So shortly after Carmen meets her death in the Sewer this post shows up at MySpace:
If you don’t repost this saying:
They Pushed Her Down The Sewer
Carmen will get you…
To fill you in, Carmen from Indiana will come up from you Shower or Toilet and drag you down to where she is in the sewers and then she’ll kill you.
I think it would be way more efficient to kill you first and then flush you down the toilet- but hey I didn’t write this.
I did however enjoy it because I can’t help but to wonder how many of you will think about Carmen The Indiana Toilet Monster the next time you visit the smallest room in the house.
I think that’s pretty darn funny.
Urban Legends…. they are more then amusing stories they are the gift that keeps on giving.
For years and years and years I thought the only purpose Oregon had was to keep Washington State from sliding down into California.
Then Kent Couch took his balloon trip, I heard this interview with a woman who lives somewhere in the wilds of Oregon who kept a rifle above her door to protect herself from ‘bears and those drug kids from Seattle’ and I happen to know now for a fact that the best Salt Water Taffy in the world is made down there.
I’ve been seduced.
I totally fell in love with Oregon.
God, thank you for Oregon- I’d have to say it’s your best work yet.
What follows is a news report that proves it.
I’m going ahead and reprinting a story from the Associated Press here for fear that one day the link will go down and this great story will be lost forever.
DeFazio wants ‘investigation’ into Vermont’s Simpsons win
SPRINGFIELD, Ore. (AP) – U.S. Rep. Peter DeFazio, D-Springfield is still piqued that his hometown wasn’t chosen to host the premiere of the upcoming animated film “The Simpsons,” particularly since “Simpsons” creator Matt Groening is an Oregon native.
In fact, he smells a rat, and has asked U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez to investigate – sort of.
In a spoof letter from DeFazio’s office to Gonzalez, he points out that Springfield, Ore., with around 52,000 residents, lost out on the right to hold the premiere to Springfield, Vt., which won a contest sponsored by 20th Century Fox, despite having only 9,000 residents.
“Unless they passed a law giving cows the right to vote, this smacks of election fraud,” DeFazio writes, tongue planted firmly in cheek. “It also once again highlights the need for electronic voting with a valid paper trail. Was Diebold in any way involved in tabulating the results?”
DeFazio continues that he’s well aware that many will dismiss his concerns, saying that the Oregon Springfield was simply “rolled” by the giant pink doughnut of Homer Simpson’s dreams, featured prominently in the winning video submitted by Springfield, Vt.
“But I believe there were significant voting irregularities,” DeFazio writes. “Knowing how passionately the Bush Administration feels about counting every vote, I’m sure you will want to investigate this matter.”
Gonzalez’s office could not immediately be reached for comment on the spoof letter.
The letter concludes in true Simpsons fashion: Instead of signing off “Sincerely,” or “Yours Truly,” DeFazio concludes with an “Okiliydokily.”
Despite DeFazio’s efforts, on July 21, Springfield, Vermont’s 100-seat movie theater is slated to play host to the movie, which opens July 27.
ORIGINAL STORY HERE
and of course…here’s a Promo:
ALIEN IDEAS FROM AN ALIEN MIND
How come in Politics we just love to say that we’re standing shoulder to shoulder or side by side and if you think about it if you’re in Politics you spend most of your time on your knees.
It’s all very basic.
Somebody somewhere is always trying to stick it to somebody else and if they’re not actually sticking it, they’re thinking about doing it and if they don’t have the time they’ll send someone else in to do it for them.
If it sounds nasty it is- when you’re playing games somebody has to win and someone has to lose and that’s what Politics is about.
Winning
We’re not talking about being right or just or fair. It’s not about ” giving voice” or ‘representing a village’.
It’s all about winning
The thing of it is that once you get a win you have to keep winning no matter who you have to screw or betray or belittle.
That’s how the game is played- that is the rule…win.
Win all of the time.
Kitty left a comment on an earlier post and she said I seemed fearless.
I guess after you’ve worked with the dead and you’ve watched one human being totally wreck another human being just so they could prove they could- after all of that – there isn’t anything to be afraid of anymore.
I wonder if it’s true, if you have nothing to lose you’re dangerous.
I’m not sure, but I think I’m starting to understand that saying.
So I guess that means I win.
This time.
amm
Irregular Bones 
