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What Would The CSI Guys Say?

/ Anita Marie / Leave a comment

Lizzie Borden- she was a woman- she was a killer -and she got away with two of the most hands on brutal killings in American History.

To refresh your memory, Lizzie lived in a state where  ( in 1692 anyway )  you could just accuse a woman of being a witch and have her executed…just like that.

Another thing to keep in mind is that in 1892 women ( including Lizzie ) didn’t even have the right to vote-

that didn’t happen until 1920.

Anway- I think she did it but to this day Lizzie has her supporters and they say she’s innocent.

One of the arguments in her defense- which I think underscores the fact that Lizzie was found innocent because of her sex- was based on the time lines established for the killings.

Lizzie’s  Stepmother was supposed to have been killed an hour or so before her Father.

The theory is that it was very unlikely that  someone ( like a WOMAN ) who inflicted that kind of damage on a  person with an AX could have left a dead mutilated body upstairs and gone on with her day  and then come back later and did the same to someone else.

Have you ever seen the pictures of Andrew Borden?

Whoever did that was good and angry, they had worked themselves up into a mindless rage and that kind of rage can happen in the blink of an eye or it can build up…

say…

over an hour or so.

Links:

Link Photos From: The Chancery House

And visit: Lizzie Borden Virtual Museum and Library

Hey Paris Hilton: Bust You!

/ Anita Marie / 2 Comments

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There are Three Good rock solid reasons  for why Paris Hilton needs to be sent back to jail:

She broke the law.

She broke the law.

She broke the law.

And as an FYI they don’t suspend your license for fun, it’s usually a sign you’ve got a problem like this guy.

So go back to jail Hilton, you aren’t singing any song that every single jail bird before you  hasn’t sung before. (I learned my lesson, I don’t belong here… etc etc ).  It doesn’t work for them and it sure as hell shouldn’t work for you.

Oh yes…I almost forgot… as Hilton sat at home eating celebration cupcakes ( I’m not kidding about that part )  her attorney issued this statement:

“I want to thank the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department and staff of the Century Regional Detention Center for treating me fairly and professionally,” she said. “I am going to serve the remaining 40 days of my sentence. I have learned a great deal from this ordeal and hope that others have learned from my mistakes.”

The only lesson we’ve learned here is that there’s Paris Hilton and the rest of humanity.

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Church On Thursday

/ Anita Marie / 4 Comments

I’ve had bad moments in my life but I haven’t reached the ” kill me now God ” stage.

It’s been close but I’ve dodged that bullet- however I have been around people when they all but dropped to their knees and hoped, they prayed that the Black Hole that’s supposed to be in the middle of the Milky Way Galaxy will burst and then spread and suck them up like lint into a dust buster.

You can’t NOT watch those human train wrecks no matter how hard you try not to.

I like to go to this little Chinese restaurant for lunch- the staff is nice, the food is good and I happen to like watching the Chinese Music Videos that they have going on the TV.

I can’t understand a word of it, but who cares? The music is good.

Anyway, I’m eating my lunch and the waitress is telling me about her weekend and what she’s going to do to celebrate the Chinese New Year.

That’s when these 5 guys come in and she seats them at the table right next to me and sets them up with menus. While she waits for them to order she comes back to my table and she’s telling me all about her New Years plans and the food she has to make.

Sounded good and she did almost all of the chatting when the guys say they’re ready to order. So she goes over, takes their order and goes back to the kitchen.

That’ when these guys start going on about this case and how they’re going to play it in court and it was an education because I had know idea the law was so – flexible.

Lawyers I thought to myself- but you bet I listened in because the dirt they were dishing was pretty interesting. It was like Law and Order on TV but nastier.

Then they move on to other subjects, like this other attorney in their office whose sleeping with the receptionist … and this attorney and the receptionist are both women.

I’m just amazed at this point that these guys are so loud and vocal about this stuff when it dawns on me that they’d only heard the Waitress talk…and my friends she has a heavy, heavy accent.

And I am very very not white looking.

In fact there was a couple of dozen other people in there for lunch besides me and the Attorneys and almost none of  the other patrons were speaking English to each other.

So I wondered if they knew I could understand every single word they’d said and I decided these are well educated people in the middle of Seattle having lunch should know better then to think something that…lame.

The waitress got the food out and just before she walked passed me I reached out and touched her arm and said, ” so, like are you gonna have Pizza at your party? Cause if you do I am SO there. ”

That’s when the silence from the next table spread and blotted out the Sun and changed reality as we know it.

I heard somebody’s fork hit the table and then I looked up and smiled at my co-patrons with a wolfish smile. That smile involved all of my teeth and it was so big I think I may have hurt some of the muscles in my face.

But it was so worth it.

It’s funny but at that moment I would have swore in a court of law that all five of those guys looked exactly the same…maybe it was the looks on their faces that gave that impression. You know it was that look that said,

” Kill me God, please kill me now. “

A Nice Little Prison And A Barb Wire Fence

/ Anita Marie / 14 Comments

 

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When I was about 10 years old I was sitting on the curb with some neighborhood girls and we were planning our lives- we decided right then and there who we would marry, where we would live and what sort of jobs we were going to have when we grew up.

Most of what I was hearing involved big houses and jobs as stewardesses or teachers and marriages to actors and the Osmond Brothers.

I remember my friend Karen sort of flinched and said, ” What about you Anita?”

I took a deep breath and I was off and running because like a lot of girls that age I was planning  on ” one day “.

I said I was going to be a writer like ” The Twilight Zone Guy ” and then I would become fighter pilot and then after I got done with that I was going to be a Captain, like Captain Kirk,  and be the first woman to land  a spaceship on Mars.

I  told my friends I expected to discover real aliens on ‘ faraway planets ‘ and after I died I was going to be buried on Titan in a cemetery they’d have there one day for Space Explorers like me.

And then I said I never wanted to get married.

I  wanted to live in a cabin in the mountains with some pet wolves and I wanted a salt water aquarium full of sea horses.

My friends stared at me with their mouths hanging open.

Karen grabbed Melody, Melody yanked on Shelly’s arm and they moved  a few feet away from me whispering to to each other and giving me horrified looks the entire time.

When they were done Shelly stomped up to me and I nearly dove into the street straight in front of an on coming car because I thought she was going to kick me

I swear to this day she was almost crying. ” That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. I’m telling your Mom…everyone is right- you are a weirdo!  Of COURSE   you’re going to get married!”

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My Grave Thoughts

/ Anita Marie / 8 Comments

Just some bits and pieces I have laying around

in my

 Macabre Notebook:

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Here lies

Ezekial Aikle

Age 102

The Good

Die Young.

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The children of Israel wanted bread

And the Lord sent them manna,

Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,

And the Devil sent him Anna.

 

I wish I had made this story up-

it would have made me

famous

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Gravediggers held BBQ in cemetery

Gravediggers in a Belgian city have been criticised for holding a barbecue party in a cemetery.

It follows a complaint from a couple who visited the cemetery at Merksem, Antwerp, to visit the grave of their son.

François and Magda Boljau were shocked to find the gravediggers holding a party in a shed at the cemetery, reports Het Nieuwsblad.

Mrs Bolijau said: “It was happening only 15 metres from his grave. The music of ‘Sex bomb, sex bomb’ was coming very loud from the loudspeakers.

“Children were playing between the graves. I couldn’t stand it and ran away in tears.”

Alderman Erwin Pairon, who is responsible for Antwerp’s cemeteries, said he was very annoyed with the gravediggers.

The gravediggers insisted they held a party every year in the same shed and that nobody had complained before.

But Alderman Pairon said: “Next year, they have to move. I understand it is very upsetting for the parents to have to listen to a party when they came to mourn.”

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In a fight I’d have to say  

Lizzie Borden

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Would have kicked

Jack The Ripper‘s

butt

up

one side of the street

and down 

the other. 

 

Eight Little Things…

/ Anita Marie / 7 Comments

My friend Max tagged me-  I was suppose to come up with eight little random facts …. and being that this is MY blog I decided to go ahead and do eight random facts about memememememememe!

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1. When I was a mortician’s apprentice I got seriously addicted to PEZ candy.

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2. I have a morbid fear of electricity

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3.  I  think Reality TV is Satan’s Vomit.

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4.  I’ve written stories about ghosts that I’ve seen and  about weird places that I’ve been too and really odd people I’ve met and then I make it sound like fiction.

 I’m such a coward.

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5. I think it’s great when my husband does political work because all of the sudden the same ISP from our area shows up and SOMEONE crawls through my entire blog page by page and my stats go through the roof.

 My own Mother won’t take the time to do that- Hell I don’t even do that!

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6. My favorite color is red but I tell people it’s pink. It’s so sweet when their faces scrunch up and they say, ” Pink? Really? “

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7. When my Sister was 5 and I was 8 she had a dream that her Baby Alive Doll came to life and tried to kill her. So she put Baby Alive in her closet and buried her under a bunch of clothes. Every night I’d go into her closet and take Baby Alive out and sit her on the foot of my Sister’s bed. I’m so grateful that after years of ME my Sister will admitt to people we’re actually related.

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8.

I think Jack The Ripper was a woman.

Actually….I just like to say that because it stresses people out.

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He Has The Right To Your Life

/ Anita Marie / 2 Comments

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So this guy who has a dangerous strain of TB flies around the world spreading his little microbes o’ death like screwed up wedding confetti and  the CDC  gets out ahead of this thing and tells people not to worry – which on it’s face is pretty weird considering they don’t exactly release feel good stories on a regular basis.

And then we find out maybe that’s because:

(from Yahoo news )….

The honeymooner quarantined with a dangerous strain of tuberculosis was identified Thursday as a 31-year-old Atlanta personal injury lawyer whose new father-in-law is a CDC microbiologist specializing in the spread of TB and other bacteria. 

Okay, I’m officially stunned. 

But I’m getting away from the point I wanted to make. 

What I wanted to say is that I wish I HAD been on the plane next to this guy and that at some point he had coughed into my face.

Why?

My Goodness, to have sat next to the man whose life is more important then anyone else’s life on the entire planet?

I’d have been honored.

Original Story Here

It Got Under My Skin

/ Anita Marie / 4 Comments

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When I was about 9 this little girl named Carla used to follow me around school and  chant, ” Anita is a black cat sitting on a Cadillac…Anita is a black cat sitting on a Cadillac. ”

She would stand there in front of me at recess or in front of my desk in class and put her hands on her hips and shake her butt from side to side and chant that damn  car slogan over and over again.

Once I asked why she was doing this and she told me it was ” because you’re a black girl ” ( actually I was an Asian Girl but Carla was on her way to being an equal opportunity bigot so brown was brown to her ).

Finally I get sick of this ( mostly because Carla was turning this concert she treated me too into a full blown musical and had her friends joining in ) and I go to my teacher and tell on Carla and what  she said and had been doing

What my teacher said will stick with me forever.

She said, ” Anita you are different,  you’re going to have to learn to have a sense of humor about certain things.”

I have a sense of humor…and I still don’t think this was funny.

What happened to Carla and my teacher?

I don’t know…so many people wearing hoods over their heads so little time to look under them all.

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The Light Goes On

/ Anita Marie / 5 Comments

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I’ve spent the afternoon drafting short stories for my blog

Anita’s Owl Creek Bridge.

At one point

I realized I had spent the day thinking about

ghosts and devils and curses

witches and cannibals

and clever ways

to bump people off.

I looked around to make sure

no one was watching

and then I laughed.

 

 

Don’t Mess With The Google Man

/ Anita Marie / 6 Comments

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Okay.

Fun is fun,

 I know people have been asking Google dumb questions just to see what sort of answers it will spit out.

My friend Terry- who in a court of law could be convicted of robbing me of the five minutes of my life that are gone forever-  talked me into doing this thing:

I was supposed  to ask for the Directions to London ….from New York.

I’ve learned three things from this incident:

1. If Terry ever sends me a message again that starts out with the line ” Try this ” I’m going  to stab myself in the head with a pen to stop myself from ‘trying this’.

And if I do it, I’m going to stab myself in both of my eyes with pens for being so stupid as to fall for that line a second time.

2. According to Google IF YOU DRIVE FROM NEW YORK TO LONDON it will take you 29 days and 10 Hours

3. If you haven’t got the hint yet and realized Google is fully aware that you’ve just made the Cyber Version of a crank phone call to their house in the middle of the night-  then I should add that they direct you to turn right on Central Street, after you do that you are to take another right at Long Wharf….

then Google tells you to start swimming.

That is SO much more subtle then telling someone to go and jump in a lake.

Google….they know all and they see all and if you mess with them they’ll mess you up back.

 

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