No. Really?

September 24, 2012September 24, 2012 / Anita Marie / 14 Comments

Do you know there is a right way to blog?

It’s true. I ready it in a book and the book made a lot of sense and I even learned a couple of things.

For example I learned my blog sucks.

I’ll be darned. I mean I read other blogs that are fun and they get a ton of traffic and comments but I didn’t think I was in the sucks catagory. But gee whiz that’s where I am.

So, I could go back and do it right or close this blog down and start a smart spiffy blog

I can be honest with myself.

This is how I express myself- for real no bells or whistles. If me and you were sitting around and talking pretty much what you see is is how I sound when I talk. Except for in real life I have weirder ideas and I talk with my hands a lot plus I do that eye roll thing and I am convinced that one day my eyes are going to get stuck up there and I’m going to be blind but that’s another post.

There are times when I feel more like myself – and that means the ‘myself’ I like an awful lot when I write.

To bad that in the world of blogging that doesn’t count for much.

It’s Like This

September 23, 2012September 23, 2012 / Anita Marie / 2 Comments

Sometimes I scoot around in those writing prompt sites- in this case it was Plinky Prompts and as I read them I got all snarky because one involved writing about smartphone apps- and as far as I’m concerned Texting has NOTHING to do with writing and is the death knell of the complete thought so why oh why oh why is it A WRITING PROMPT?

But there were a couple that did get me thinking so here we go:

What was the last movie that made you cry?

Paranormal.

It made me cry because I paid five bucks for it and I watched it from start to finish and those minutes of my life and my five dollars are gone forever. Worse yet I still have it because I can’t in good conscious give it away because I think there is a price to be paid for doing Evil things to your fellow human beings. I count giving away that DVD away to a fellow human being as one of those things.

Do you prefer a sunrise or sunset? (Or is it all the same to you?)

As anyone who has ever written a horror story will tell you- the line that separates the sound of laughter from screaming terror is a very thin line – – I think the line that separates sunrise from sunsets is the same line. Okay. I don’t really think that. But, I think that someone with a romantic soul would probably want to answer that question and if I can put the idea into their head that I just twisted this prompt from the chance it could inspire romantic prose about nature or first kisses or last kisses or doing it on the beach to people thinking about the monster that does indeed live under their bed and waits for them to get up in the middle of the night to pee so that it can eat them and leave a trail of their guts to the basement then not only will I have made my daily word count but the bonus is, I got to have fun doing it too.

Defend your vice.

Okay. You know there are Seven Deadly Sins right? How many days of the week are there? That’s right Seven. That means that the odds are you will F#@! up because there is a dedicated sin for each day of the week. Talk about a rigged game. So in my defense, I didn’t write those rules, I didn’t check the box and I don’t agree to those terms.

You want to damn me, then know me and we’ll talk. But you better make sure your closet is skeleton free before we have that little sit down.

Okay.

I might not have used the Prompt as they were intended to be used- but it’s not like they come with warning labels or instructions -you know like those instructions on Pizza Boxes that say to remove the Pizza from the carton before you bake it- so I did my best.

Plus this is my blog, and you know…

I can write whatever I want on it.

Later Gators.

a.m.m.

I Walk A Little Slower Now

September 20, 2012September 26, 2012 / Anita Marie / 6 Comments

Last year my dog Cerberus- or Cerbie as I called her started to have some trouble walking.

That didn’t come as a big surprise, she is a big dog and was 10 years old. She was showing her age but she would walk through it for the sole purpose of keeping up with me as I buzzed around my house-flying from room to room to do only God knows what.

Escaping from Demons or fire from the looks of it because I always seemed to be in one big rush.

But when I saw Cerbie struggling on some days to keep up with me I started to slow down. And on the bad days I would stop whatever I was doing to tell her she was my good girl and that I would wait up for her.

And I did.

Sometimes a walk from my kitchen to the living room would take a minutes instead of a second . I considered those moments when I talked to Cerbie until she got up time well spent and I would give her a cookie or two – which I started to carry around with me for moments like that. Those were sweet moments when I think about it.

Over the year Cerbie- who was always by my side slowed down more- and so did I.

I wasn’t slowing down just at home for her.

When I was out I walked slower everywhere and I saw more. I saw more going on around me. I noticed more. I was getting to be a little more patient with everyone around me. I learned that from Cerbie.

On the last day of her life Cerbie tried to follow me from room to room like she always did.

And then I turned around and she had collapsed Luis and I rushed her to the vet and on our way down there even though she was awake, she didn’t know I was there. I was losing her. I knew it.

When we got her to the Vet’s and I opened up the door to the back seat and one of the Vet’s assistants took a look at Cerbie and said we needed a stretcher that she was a big girl and I started to cry.

” No she isn’t ” I said ” She’s my little girl ” I’m sure I sounded pathetic but the young women who were there to help my Girl didn’t bat an eye. They just asked me her name and I said ” Cerbie”

You see, the day I brought Cerbie home when she was a puppy she weighed one pound less than my cat Wolfie. I would swear on a stack of bibles that Cerbie is little- but she was big – she was a Retriever/Mastiff mix and weighed about 80 pounds- but she was my little girl and I never saw her as anything else.

So not even an hour after she collapsed I made the decision to let Cerbie who was 11 years old and my devoted companion go. I decided to let them put her down. The surgery sounded brutal and there was no guarantee she would make it through that. And my Little Girl who had only once in her life been away from home when she was Spayed and had never been separated from me for more than two months total in her entire life…I didn’t want to think about what it would have been like for her had she made it through the surgery and maybe lived for a few days scared in a hospital without her family- so I said do it.

I’ve heard people talk about being with their pets when this is being done. But they never said what it was like- I think I understand why. But this is what it was like for us.

They put Cerbie in this nice little room- two Vets assistants had put her on a blanket and were sitting with her on the floor and petting her when me and Luis came into the room.

She was already sedated and when she didn’t try to get up to be near me I died- right then and there my heart broke. I knew if she was even slightly aware of me at that point she wanted to get up and come to us. And she couldn’t. My poor girl.

So we got down on the floor with her the Vet sat down with us and she explained what she was going to do and she asked us if we were ready and I said yes.

First they gave her another sedative and as she did I told Cerbie that she was going to take a nap and when she woke up she would see her brother Wolfie again and Blitzer too- Blitzer was one of three kittens Cerbie took upon herself to raise and make her own.

And then she gave her the final injection and as she did I put my hand on Cerbie, I wanted her to feel me as she slipped away so that she would know that she had done it. What she always did no matter what.

She was at my side.

What I’m putting up next might be hard to look at- but they are the last pictures of me and Cerbie as she was passing away and I’m posting them for this reason:

Those last few minutes with Cerbie were painful, they were brutal but they will always be special to me because they were the last moments we had together on this Earth.

And they were beautiful.

a.m.m.

Cerbie as she is leaving me and Luis- September 17, 2012

With my Cerbie – We didn’t say good-bye. We told her we love her. Those were the last words she heard- September 17, 2012 Lynnwood, WA

You can read a follow up post I wrote about Cerbie and her family

HERE

a.m.m.

July 6, 2012 / Anita Marie / 1 Comment

Good thought.

Just Nous

When I was teaching classes filled with students who tested all my ‘rules of engagement’ skills I invariably spent time examining reasons why we should be bothered writing in daily journals.

Tristan Rainer, in her New Diary provided a guiding hand. I remember having a printed sheet with some of her points such as journals providing a healthful release for feelings and tension; a place to advise yourself; a place to gain clarity and to make decisions; a place to rehearse future behavior and so on.

This article in the Bellingham Herald provides some good reasons why a would be writer should bother keeping a blog. I still smile when I remember Mike Browne’s blog about his lunch box. I had a whole project where students became lunch box spies and interviewed ancillary and teaching staff about what was in their lunch box. Insane maybe! But Browne did establish a…

View original post 3 more words

The Wall

July 6, 2012 / Anita Marie / 7 Comments

My husband is a politician, my friends are human rights activists and artists and musicians and teachers and doctors and nurses and in their lives they do important things.

I mean they shape and influence lives and that’s good news for us all because no way in Hell would you want me to shape the world you live in.

Trust me on that, I spent all week studying alien limb syndrome – it’s a syndrome where people are convinced that their own limb ( their hand for example) does not belong to them and is controlled by an outside force.

I pay attention to stuff like that because I write.

I write sometimes about Werewolves and once I wrote a story about a woman waiting for a bus and she is positive, and knows that the man standing next to her, the one wearing a blood red tie is the Devil himself.

She knows it, he knows it and they both know it at the same time and at the end of the story he goes on he wishes her a good day and she wishes him the same and the Devil goes onto do Devilish things and she goes to work just like it was any other day of the week.

That’s what I do for fun, that’s what I do and most of the time I think it’s important.

Until recently.

Now I wonder.

well…

May 10, 2012 / Anita Marie / 1 Comment

This Is Your Brain

May 5, 2012May 5, 2012 / Anita Marie / 6 Comments

I think it’s time to start writing again because I am pretty darn sure that what I have been doing on at FB isn’t writing no matter what I told myself – like, I can get ideas there and it’s creative in a way and I don’t get to see a lot of my friends so this is a fun way to stay in touch- while I work on my writing.

But I knew that was baloney the entire time.

So why have I spent so much time over there when the cost has been so high for me? I don’t have a cell phone so I’m not connected to the collective, I don’t have anything sassy or witty to say but I must admit I like posting pictures because that is fun and some of the quips on them are funny.

ONLY

I don’t write those quips and I don’t take the pictures and the writer in me stands over my shoulder when I spend time on FB telling someone else’s story and she says:

“Anita Marie…what the Hell? Who wrote this and why are you putting their stuff out there? Oh yeah. I know why because a picture with a three word quip coming out of the mouth of a monkey riding backwards on a tricycle is Art and it must live forever and your purpose in life now is to make that happen no matter what the cost.”

And the truth is that is exactly what I have been doing.

Every day.

However, I am left every single time I have goofed off on FB, with the certainty that if we were REQUIRED to go on line and tell everyone what we thought, where we are going, who we are talking to, what we ate for dinner, where we shop, sat next to at the movies, people would be freaking out all over the place.

But we- and I am including myself in that mix in a big way -are good little sheep and no matter how we see ourselves at the end of the day- it feels to me as if someone is tugging on our leash and we are obediently responding to that gesture.

We are listening ,we are telling the same stories in the same voice

together.

Word

February 6, 2012February 5, 2012 / Anita Marie / Leave a comment

Do you know that it seems like the only time anyone pays attention to NASA or Science in general is when a stupid Sci-Fi movie based on a computer game comes out and then they it only gets attention if the chick in the Co-Starring ( and like it or not, women do not Star in Sci-Fi movies because if there is a robot or a bug or a giant monster or a ginormous space ship involved I don’t care if she is listed as the Star she is NOT ) role is hot.

And she will not be in that movie unless the words ‘smoking’ come before hot when people talk about it.

So, here is a press release from NASA- its relevant so pay attention:

COLBERT VIDEO

HERE

Colbert Advocates NASA Space Station Research

HAMPTON, Va. — Stephen Colbert, host of the nightly ‘The Colbert Report,’ said in a new NASA public service announcement released today that he’s always been a huge fan of space.
The talk show host tells his Colbert Nation — and the world — that he now likes space even more “because NASA is doing great things on the International Space Station (ISS).”

The completion of the ISS ushered in a new era of research and discovery in a near gravity-free environment. Research on the orbital laboratory is focused on four areas: human health and exploration; basic life and physical sciences; earth and space science; and technology development to enable future exploration.

Colbert specifically mentions the agency’s work aboard the space station to develop new vaccines to fight infectious and deadly diseases, such as salmonella and pneumonia. As resistance toward current antibiotics becomes more common, there is an increasing need for alternative treatments.

The Comedy Central comedian has had a continuing interest in the ISS. In 2009, when NASA asked the public to help name the station’s Node 3, Colbert urged his followers to submit the name “Colbert.” The name received the most entries and astronauts continue to exercise on the most famous treadmill in the world, the Combined Operational Load-Bearing External Resistance Treadmill or COLBERT, in the station’s Tranquility module.