Well Hello There!
Your regular PSA Announcer
is
hiding
I mean
powdering his nose
So I’m going to do today’s PSA
These are blogs that
the I.B Staff
( that’s Anita and that Old Spice Guy )
recommend
you visit
If anything, after seeing how erratic
the Staff’s reading taste is
I’m going to look like the Sane One around here
so I’m sure you’ll be seeing lots more of me.
this was your PSA
from
Doll Guy With The Big Knife
This is the day I check in with God and tell him about my week.
I’d do it at Church, but I’m banned. I figured that out after I noticed that when I show up there’s like 20 guys who look like Father Merrin lining the walk up to the doors so- I get the hint already.
Dear God,
It’s been a long week.
It’s had it’s moments though.
Here was the biggest news story to come out of Mountlake Terrace this week- two kids stole a car and set it on fire.
Our major local paper actually wrote a story about it.
And God, they put it on the Internet for everyone in the world to see.
I’m not sure what mortifies me more- kids who burn cars or newspapers that write detailed news reports about it.
I have an idea, if you could send an invasion force made up of Flying Monkeys to attack Mountlake Terrace our local paper could write about an issue that really does affect the people of Mountlake Terrace and all of us live this lame ‘news’ story down.
It’s just an idea.
God, I know you promised not to do the flooding thing again but if you could do one of those surgical strikes and wipe out any theatres showing Summer Sequels I’d be ever so grateful.
They’re making us pay to watch repeats God.
That’s so unfair.
Bruce Campbell says in this article ( here ) that Studios are creatively bankrupt.
He’s too kind.
They were never creative to begin with.
Now Almighty One, I like a good laugh now and then too, but that thing you did in Hoquiam.
It was out of control.
Let me refresh your memory.
All these people showed up in Hoquiam for the Senior Babe Ruth state baseball tournament and instead of the smell of peanuts and crackerjacks they got to huff something nasty from the Ocean Protein Fish Meal plant.
Richard Stedman- Olympic Region Clean Air Agency
Something is ‘escaping’?
ESCAPING?
Excuse me while I go hide under my bed for the next 100 years.
Really.
See you next Sunday God.
I mean
Amen
LiveScience.comMon Jul 2, 11:55 PM ET
Do you have a really bad memory, or past heartache, that you would prefer to forget?
Researchers at Harvard and McGill University (in Montreal) are working on an amnesia drug that blocks or deletes bad memories. The technique seems to allow psychiatrists to disrupt the biochemical pathways that allow a memory to be recalled.
Okay, this is NOT good.
It’s bad.
Let me spell this out, they want to develop a drug that will disrupt pathways in YOUR BRAIN that allow memories to be recalled.
How interesting, you can take a human brain and wipe it clean and replace it with what?
Happy thoughts?
Who will decided what goes and what stays?
You?
Hey, if you’re in such a bad way that you need to chemically shut down pathways in your brain to keep memories from surfacing I doubt if anyone is going to listen to a word you have to say, am I right?
I wonder- if you take away the things that made you the person you are now, what on earth will you become if you take any of that (even the bad things) away.
Once that stuff hits your brain you won’t be the same.
Now there’s a thought.
!Warning!
Toxic People Suck.
This was an I.B. PSA
For years and years and years I thought the only purpose Oregon had was to keep Washington State from sliding down into California.
Then Kent Couch took his balloon trip, I heard this interview with a woman who lives somewhere in the wilds of Oregon who kept a rifle above her door to protect herself from ‘bears and those drug kids from Seattle’ and I happen to know now for a fact that the best Salt Water Taffy in the world is made down there.
I’ve been seduced.
I totally fell in love with Oregon.
God, thank you for Oregon- I’d have to say it’s your best work yet.
What follows is a news report that proves it.
I’m going ahead and reprinting a story from the Associated Press here for fear that one day the link will go down and this great story will be lost forever.
DeFazio wants ‘investigation’ into Vermont’s Simpsons win
SPRINGFIELD, Ore. (AP) – U.S. Rep. Peter DeFazio, D-Springfield is still piqued that his hometown wasn’t chosen to host the premiere of the upcoming animated film “The Simpsons,” particularly since “Simpsons” creator Matt Groening is an Oregon native.
In fact, he smells a rat, and has asked U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez to investigate – sort of.
In a spoof letter from DeFazio’s office to Gonzalez, he points out that Springfield, Ore., with around 52,000 residents, lost out on the right to hold the premiere to Springfield, Vt., which won a contest sponsored by 20th Century Fox, despite having only 9,000 residents.
“Unless they passed a law giving cows the right to vote, this smacks of election fraud,” DeFazio writes, tongue planted firmly in cheek. “It also once again highlights the need for electronic voting with a valid paper trail. Was Diebold in any way involved in tabulating the results?”
DeFazio continues that he’s well aware that many will dismiss his concerns, saying that the Oregon Springfield was simply “rolled” by the giant pink doughnut of Homer Simpson’s dreams, featured prominently in the winning video submitted by Springfield, Vt.
“But I believe there were significant voting irregularities,” DeFazio writes. “Knowing how passionately the Bush Administration feels about counting every vote, I’m sure you will want to investigate this matter.”
Gonzalez’s office could not immediately be reached for comment on the spoof letter.
The letter concludes in true Simpsons fashion: Instead of signing off “Sincerely,” or “Yours Truly,” DeFazio concludes with an “Okiliydokily.”
Despite DeFazio’s efforts, on July 21, Springfield, Vermont’s 100-seat movie theater is slated to play host to the movie, which opens July 27.
ORIGINAL STORY HERE
and of course…here’s a Promo:
It’s Sunday so you know what that means…
God Chat!
So here we go:
Dear God,
I’ve learned something this week: Racists should really remember to use Spell-Check when they send out hate e-mails because the message is lost when something you’re reading looks like it was authored by an 11 year old in need of Ritalin.
Thanks for giving Prince (who happens to be my Favorite Sister’s – okay, she’s my ONLY Sister) the idea to play three shows over 12 hours for his fans in Minneapolis. My sister wasn’t there, but this story about her favorite musician will her feel good – so cool move God. Oh, I liked it because Prince only stopped the show when the Police (the law guys, not the er- you know ‘ band’ ) told him to.
I love a Rebel.
And I would like to thank you Mighty One
for moving someone to create this.
It has Pirates it has Johnny Depp
It’s a Wild Thing
But I think I love it.
ps I had one of those Crunchy Egg Rolls on Wednesday- you know the one I pray for every Sunday? Well, it was pretty close and I really enjoyed it.
Okay, see you next Sunday.
I mean, Amen.
amm
I’m bored-
So we’re going on a Field Trip.
You lucky little Devils.
First Stop
Alien Graveyard
Want to help scientists organize galaxies?
This is for real, read the article and then check out the link at the bottom of the story.
Okay, I’m not taking you to other worlds but this is close.
LONDON (AP) – Scientists need help sorting through an unusual digital photo album: pictures of about 1 million galaxies.
They are asking volunteers on the Internet to help classify the galaxies as either elliptical or spiral and note, where possible, in which direction they rotate. It would be the largest galactic census ever compiled, something scientists say would provide new insight into the structure of the universe.
“We’re in the golden era of astronomy,” said Bob Nichol, an astronomer at the University of Portsmouth in southern England. “We have more data than we can assimilate, and we need help.”
Astronomers say computer programs have been unable to reliably classify the star systems.
Without volunteers, researchers would need years to wade through the photographs, which were taken automatically by a massive digital camera mounted onto a telescope at the Apache Point Observatory near Sunspot, N.M., Nichol said. With 10,000 to 20,000 people working to classify the galaxies, the process could take as little as a month.
Volunteers would sign on to the Web site, complete a brief tutorial and pick through one galaxy after another. The galaxies would be identified by several people to guard against errors and pranks, and scientists would rule on any disputes.
The catalog would help researchers understand how galaxies form and interact.
“At some level, what we learn about these galaxies could tell us something quite fundamental about cosmology and particle physics,” Nichol said.
The project was inspired by similar projects at NASA, such as Stardust(at)home, which enlisted the help of thousands of volunteers to sift through grains of space dust gathered during a 2006 mission.
On the Net:
Galaxy Zoo: http://www.galaxyzoo.org
Next Stop
Peru
Have Fun HERE I know I did
There you go, I hope you enjoyed the I.B. Field Trip.
Later Gators.
amm
I ride the same bus route to work every morning.
It’s an Express Bus so it doesn’t have a lot of stops to hit before we get to the freeway. On this quick route all you’ll see are the same cookie cutter houses and the same dogs barking in the same spots in their yards and the same cats looking all offended when the bus goes by.
I haven’t figured that one out yet.
Anyway.
About the only change that happens on this route happens is during the summer when the regular drivers go on vacation and we get a new driver almost every morning.
There’s no problem there, we don’t run late, no one is getting lost along the way.It’s pretty uneventful- like it is the rest of the year. But every once and awhile a driver will go by an exit or get on the freeway at the wrong on-ramp.
I mean, if you haven’t driven a route for awhile you’d do the same.
It’s not a big deal.
What is a big deal and a weird thing is the way the Passengers react.
If it’s a woman who is doing the driving the Passengers will start screaming and I mean SCREAMING ” You’re suppose to turn HERE….DRIVER TURN HERE….DRIVER IF YOU DON’T MOVE OVER NOW YOU’RE GOING TO MISS THE TURN. DRIVER!”It never fails and it sounds so obnoxious- I mean it’s one thing for little kids to screech- but when adults do it?
Annoying.
What’s even worse is the way these same people react when the Driver is a man.
We’ve blown by exits. gone down the wrong streets and does anyone say a word a mile down the road when they THINK the Driver is going to miss the stop or when they board the bus halfway across town the way they do with the female drivers?
No.
Not a peep, not a sound.
I figure it must be a Girl Thing,
Yes indeed, it’s Sunday.
Time to have my weekly chat with God.
I know, I know
If I were really serious about this I’d do it every day
but if my Mom found out I call God more then her?
She’d bust me open like a crispy Lumpia.
So anyway here we go:
Dear God,
I want to thank you for a pretty good week.
Nobody that I know died- besides I knew you wouldn’t approve so I kept my hands to myself.
Thank you for creating the Universe so that I can now spend Thursdays watching ” Burn Notice “.
I think it’s wonderful that the role of floozy/spy is a man who is almost 50 years old and never shaves and wears Aloha Shirts. I like it that he credits his income and home on the beach to ” those little blue pills’.
You truly inspired someone there God and it was darn fine work.
Thank you for the heat wave that has hit the Pacific Northwest.
I was about to go out and spray something that would kill my lawn just so I wouldn’t have to mow it and woo hoo in three days you killed it dead.
God, the timing on that one, I mean I was touched.
It really felt like you were watching over me there.
I owe you for that one.
I’d also like to thank you for this:
I walk around saying ” The Orange Ones Are Poison ” and I love -DO YOU HEAR ME- love the look people get on their faces when I say it…which is often.
By often I mean every chance I get.
And above all else thank you for aiding me on the Crispy Egg Roll Search. I’m getting closer to finding it God and I know that after these many blessings this one shall too come to pass.
Bye-
I mean
Amen
and see you next Sunday.
amm
(okay, its a picture of The Old Spice Guy…not me deal with it)
BEIJING (AP) – Villagers in central China spent decades digging up bones they believed belonged to flying dragons and using them in traditional medicines. Turns out the bones belonged to dinosaurs, and now scientists are doing the digging
You know, I can’t really find fault with this- it looks weird but so what? Myself, I would hope that in these modern times you wouldn’t have to resort to rock eating to cure what ails you.
In my mind that is wrong.
I just checked out the Summer Movie Guide. Guess what I won’t be doing this summer?
And I was really counting on scoring some of that yummy theatre popcorn. All I can hope for is that the Indie Film People come up with something worthwhile otherwise I’m going to have to cough up 10.00 just to satisfy a craving for greasy popcorn.
I’ll do it- that’s how desperate I am.
There’s this woman who leads a group opposed to Mexicans living any where on the face of the planet and over the weekend I found out that she put a picture of a Latina activist friend of my family on her website, as well as the name and address of our friend’s employer.
That wasn’t news but it should be, I mean, how often is it that you get to see a real life hit list?
And on a way lighter note today the Roswell UFO Festival started.
Ever since I got mail and comments from friends who chewed me out for ‘encouraging’ the UFO fantasy I’ve come out in a big way to support this festival.
First of all, I hate it when people try to reach into my head and re-wire it to suit their own needs. Second, the stories that these people are telling are just to good to let go of.
I hope they’re having fun down there today.
They’ve earned it.
amm
Irregular Bones 