SEATTLE – A mysterious party planned for Saturday at Gas Works Park is the talk of the town.
Gas Works neighbors have been watching 60 planners transform the park for the expected 300 guests, and the question on everyone’s mind: who’s throwing the party?
GO ON TAKE A GUESS…
HERE ARE SOME OF MINE:
PINHEAD
FROM THE HELLRAISER MOVIES
PINHEAD
FROM THE HELLRAISER MOVIES
PINHEAD FROM THE HELLRAISER MOVIES
AND WON’T EVERYONE BE SURPRISED
“Nothing doth more hurt in a state than that cunning men pass for wise.”
Francis Bacon
He sits at our meetings and pretends to be your friend
He’ s very good at it-
He looks like a kindly, indulgent wise old Grandfather.
He’ll let you talk and talk and talk and he will hang on every word you say.
And then one day he’ll take your confidences and
Sell them to the lowest bidder.
He’s hurt and betrayed and discouraged good people
From doing good work.
For Sport.
What else could it be?
The thing of it is, I had one of those Kindly Old Grandfathers
Who was
Wise and Patient and Kind
And this man who sits against a wall and pretends
To be like him
Offends me.
Now as we are about to cross paths again
All I can say is:
You deserve me Sir.
Okay…this is an emergency I.B. PSA
That means that the I.B. Managment found something REALLY IMPORTANT that the public needs to be informed about-
she also thinks that Flying Monkeys, PEZ and this movie called ” Bubba Ho-Tep are REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT too so keep that in mind when you pop over and see how the 10 Commandments have been Criminized.
Don’t ask…just click THIS
and remember…I just work here.
( Okay, I’ll explain, Low Flying Monkeys is a phrase I used years ago. Instead of telling people good bye or good luck I’d look them in the eye and say with genuine feeling “Beware The Low Flying Monkeys”
It just seemed like good advice to give someone as they hit the road-o-life)
It’s been one of those days…one of those days where I’m being tested.
Don’t know if it’s by the Big Boss Upstairs or the Other Boss Downstairs but I’m being tested and until I figure this out- well, let’s just say I won’t be shooting fate in the eye with any spitballs.
I found out today that a few months ago my Uncle had a heart attack.
In a Casino.
While he was gambling.
And somebody along the way assured him it was going to be okay because ‘the best hospital in town is located right by the Casinos- because you know, this sort of thing happens a lot.’
Do I laugh or cry?
That is the question.
And until I figure it out I do believe I’ll lay low.
Well, you know for a few hours anyway.
amm
AND YOU?
JUST CURIOUS
When I was a kid, I lived on a neat street.
The kids were neat and the parents were neat and all the kids were in Scout Troops or took swimming lessons at the pool.
They all went on camping trips and had barbeques during the summer and during the winter they all went skiing.
Except for me, of course.
When we first moved to this neat street my parents used to try and force me to play with the neighbor kids and I wouldn’t- I said they were Zombies and that I was pretty sure they’d eaten the last kid who lived in our house.
I remember the way my Dad looked at me the first time I said that. He just shook his head and I’m not sure but I think it was weeks before he said another word to me.
I was nine at the time- so I could be off on that by a bit.
The problem was I wasn’t a neat kid, I was that weird little kid that didn’t have any friends and never got invited to parties and I got kicked out of Blue Birds because I forgot to bring the treats when it was my turn to do treat day.
Actually the Blue Bird Leader’s daughter kicked me out- I didn’t care because they never got treats that day-, which still makes me laugh when I think about it.
I may have been a weird kid, but I wasn’t a dumb kid and I made it a point to never be with any of these kids alone- or with their parents who smiled too much.
In fact, I used to have nightmares about those kids and their parents and in my dreams they were running me down with their station wagons.I still have those dreams.
Over the years I ran into some of these kids- I drove one to their final resting place in a hearse, a friend of mine arrested one for molesting his children and another is in prison for killing her stepson.
After I kept hearing these stories I decided to take a drive down that Neat Street.
I saw the Neat Parents- they were puttering around their lawns or checking their mail or talking to their neighbors (just like the old days, it’s true some things never change) and I was horrified at how they all looked so worn out and old and tired and I realized those weren’t the Neat Parents-
I was looking at the Neat Kids.
I slammed my brakes on and pulled visor down and looked in my vanity mirror and checked my face. I don’t know what I was looking for, but it was awhile before I felt calm enough to drive away.
I could hear myself, that nine year old Anita say, “ Told you, they’re Zombies. Now let’s go home.”
And that’s exactly what I did.
I wrote this a couple of years ago- and it’s one of my favorites because of the two nameless ‘characters’.
I don’t where they came from but I like them-they’re bone chilling.
With that….
Enjoy!
From my Soul Food Cafe Prompt Archives
amm
There’s something buried in the Gardener’s Shed and why would someone bury something that wasn’t dead yet?
The thing in the shed isn’t buried very deep, so if you were to crawl over the dead fall in front of the door and were able to push your way through he matted cobwebs and you didn’t mind the smell of rotting leaves and small unburied creatures you’d find there under the window a slightly raised mound of earth.
Were you to look at the raised mound long enough and the light somehow managed to find it’s way through the little panes of glass covered with dust and dirt you’d think someone was lying there on their side with one arm cradling their cheek and the other laying comfortably on their side.
Wouldn’t you?
If you brought a flashlight and the beam was bright you might think you could see something wrong with the entire left side of the sleeping figure’s face. You might think that maybe that the face was gone, smashed in by something like that shovel in the corner.
Isn’t that right?
They might wonder what you were doing back there in a rotting shed behind the Manor House in the dead of Night, they might see you take the shovel and try to smooth and pound that little raised mound of Earth flat.
That’s what they’d see wouldn’t they?
So I must ask you again, why would you bury something that is not dead yet?
Go ahead you can tell me.
Just keep your hands were I can see them.
This is you Sunday I. B. PSA
brought to you by the Old Spice Guy….
Great- this is all we need.
Anita took this quiz over at Max’s Blog
and now she’s running around biting people.
And she tells people her cat is the wack job.
Anyway, stay away from her for the next few days.
This was your I.B. PSA.
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Aloof and animalistic, you belong to the Gangrel Clan. Closely associated with werewolves, you are the shapeshifting vampire. You prefer nature than to live in the city and prefer the company of animals than of humans. You are more known to keep to yourself then to help others. You are the lone wolf of the decendents of Caine. |
The I.B. Staff
( okay…so it’s just me…Anita Marie
the Old Spice Guy
and the Doll Guy With The Knife )
Would like to be the first to wish you all a great weekend.
And to start you off
here’s a little song
to take you along….
to wherever it is you want to go
It’s Aloha Friday, No Work ’til Monday Song Lyrics
c 1982 Paul Natto
Here is where I sit, all cloudy and blitzed
with the Primo bottles lying everywhere
Got a guitar in my hand and a Wesson Oil can
Under my okole for a chair.
CHORUS:
It’s Aloha Friday, no work till Monday.
Doo be doo, doo doo be, doo be doo be doo be doo!
(Repeat)
The cousins all here, drinking up my beer
got keikies running everywhere.
I got some poki on the side while mama’s trying to hide
the Miller and the Heineken beer.
(CHORUS)
OK. You know when you wanna get away, I mean one ting
about Friday ma, da working work is ovah yeah.
Frankly, ya, I feel good man.
I work hard all week long.
I can’t wait to get away, you know like down like the beach.
I’m cruise dis weekend yeah, get one hot concert too man,
dat’s the most important ting. But main ting too,
is to get enough money fo gas and to go out to da disco.
I like to see all da beautiful chicks Yeah!
So now I gonna jus kinda cruise, take my Bank Americard,
you know adderwise, how can I get money?
Right, plus den my friends always say
eh braddah, you can buy me one drink then.
THIRD VERSE
Kimo and the crew sucking up the brew
pulehu meat smoking on the side
All the surfers are a-droppin’
while the highschool are a-poppin’
down Kaluakaua for a ride.
CHORUS:
It’s Aloha Friday, no work ’til Monday.
Doo be doo, doo doo be, doo be doo be doo be doo!
REPEAT
Well Hello There!
Your regular PSA Announcer
is
hiding
I mean
powdering his nose
So I’m going to do today’s PSA
These are blogs that
the I.B Staff
( that’s Anita and that Old Spice Guy )
recommend
you visit
If anything, after seeing how erratic
the Staff’s reading taste is
I’m going to look like the Sane One around here
so I’m sure you’ll be seeing lots more of me.
this was your PSA
from
Doll Guy With The Big Knife
Irregular Bones 
