Life

Hope In The Spring

/ Anita Marie / 12 Comments
W.A. Mozart
W.A. Mozart

 

This is Wolfie, he died two years ago from kidney failure.

He was 17 years old.

Wolfie isn’t  like my other cats because:

He loved eating potato chips

he would fight  me for my cheeseburgers

and he considered stealing food from my plate a contact sport .

For fun he enjoyed getting into my book bag, probably just so he could hear the crash when he would knock it off the chair.

He also found ways to steal my pillow when I was sleeping- I guess I should be grateful he only wanted to sleep on it.

The thing of it is, after he died I realized I wasn’t use to pillows anymore and I was waking up in the middle of the night and tossing it on the floor.

Wolfie had some weird habits, but I wasn’t the perfect pet owner so it balanced itself out.

This is Carl Kolchak

Carl Kolchak
Carl Kolchak

 

Last year I rescued him from a bad end- he was caught in a trap and on his way to the Humane Soceity when I took him home.

Carl isn’t like my other cats because:

He eats potato chips, hogs my pillow and if I blink he will steal the food off of my plate.

 

And when I walk in the door and sit my book bag down he purrs so hard his body shakes and then he jumps up grabs it and pulls it down.

When it hits the floor he doesn’t even flinch.

 

It’s funny, the way life finds ways to go on.

 

 

Monday-You Have Been Warned

/ Anita Marie / 8 Comments

Cle has a plan for dealing with Monday.

I’m going to go proactive.

This is what I plan on doing to Monday should it be dumb enough to even TRY and get too close to me.

First, I’m going to catch it with this:

fig015

And then I’m going to do this to it because  I know HOW:

duotronic

And then I’m going to put it into one of these:

coffin_casket_compare

And then of course I’ll have this done to it:

vasnetsov_grave_digger

 If (and I don’t see failure as an option here) my plans for Monday are  a success

 I can start thinking about what to do to Tuesday and Wednesday and before you know it all we’ll have to deal with is Thursday.

Or as I like to call it

Fridays’ Eve- so I don’t see it as a problem yet.

And then after I’m all done dealing with the Monday Situation

It will be happy dance time.

YAY!

happy-dance

And Now A PSA From The Bones

/ Anita Marie / 19 Comments

Photo: Meet H1N1

Photo: Meet H1N1

It’s all about using some common sense:

If you run around like your hair is on fire in an emergency situation, you will die.

So.

Here are some common sense things you need to know in order to deal with H1N1.

You can’t get it from eating Pork- not unless a sick Pig sneezes or spits on it before you eat it. And if that is indeed the case you need to eat it and die because you should not be in a position to add your Genes to the Human Gene Pool- in fact, they need to be removed.

And I’m talking every last trace.

Don’t blame Mexicans, people with brown skin or that poor child in Texas who died for this Flu. If you’re a Racist don’t use something like a Virus to bolster your arguments. Viruses are vicious and Evil on their own and they don’t need any help from you. In fact, it’s possible you could give them a bad name.

Don’t worry about the Media overreacting to this story-. Its what they do. THEY TELL STORIES. And if the stories don’t sizzle you don’t pay attention to them. Haven’t you noticed that yet?

I say for information, go to the CDC site . But remember, you’re not a Doctor and if you memorize the H1N1 symptoms I can guarantee…YOU WILL HAVE THEM BY THE NEXT DAY.

So keep calm, don’t panic and remember the flu can make you sick, but Ignorance is a Killer.

Stay In Good Health.

Anita

Back At You Tia

/ Anita Marie / 3 Comments

my brother

 my brother at his son’s memorial service

Yesterday on my way home from work I was thinking how much the world has changed in such a short period of time I think about my Nephew who is not alive to see it.

Sometimes the world is pretty awful and sometimes it’s pretty great and most of the time I like it and I’m sure he would have too.

Yesterday on my way home from work I saw this beautiful silver hearse pull up along side of my bus.

Okay, yes I noticed it,

That may sound weird but the fact is I drove black hearses ( which are boring and old school ) and that silver one?

It was a beauty.

So I’m watching this great looking car, which I could easily see myself behind the wheel of

when I see the Funeral Homes name stenciled, tastefully on the driver’s door.

It was a hearse from the funeral home that my Nephew went to after he died.

As a rule, that home doesn’t do a lot of work this far up North in our state.

So I suppose

on that day

at that time

when I was thinking about my Nephew

he was thinking of me too.

Me, Betsy and The Church Zombie

/ Anita Marie / 18 Comments
Clipart By: Ben Blogged

Clipart By: Ben Blogged

here it is- the story I promised to tell about
Me, Betsy and the Church Zombie
 
When I was a kid my favorite TV show was called Nightmare Theatre-
 it was at the Theatre I learned about all things Horror- and one year when I was about 7 years old, and it was just before Easter I learned all about Zombies.

 Me and my friend Betsy had our sleepover at my house because I knew where my parents had stashed the Easter Basket Candy- look, horror movies just work more if you can mix Jelly Beans in with Jiffy Pop- freshly popped on your stove- top try it sometime-.

So as usual me and Betsy are out of our minds with excitement over the movies and we kept getting sent down to the gym which also served as our school’s cafeteria for ” Quiet Time ” for talking loud in class.

The Zombie incident happened in the early 1970’s and our school was  built in 1905 so our gym was actually a basement. It looked like a gym but no matter how much light they pumped into that room it was always dark.

John B Allen- Seattle WA 1905
John B Allen- Seattle WA 1905- I was a student there- 66 years later!

Well, on one of our many trips to ” Quiet Time ” me and Betsy would sit down in that gym, in the half light and talk all about Zombies. Now, I have to explain why exactly it was me and Betsy spent a lot of time in that basement together for talking in class.

First of all, we did talk a lot about Monsters, but we had to talk loud- or mostly I had to talk loud because my friend was going deaf. In fact by the time we were nine she was completely deaf. At any rate, Betsy was just starting to adjust to her hearing loss and hadn’t caught onto things like lip reading or sign, so if you said something to her you had to make sure you said it loud so she got it the first time or you had to say it a bunch of times- which made Betsy cry because she felt ‘dumb’.

Look, Betsy was wearing leg braces and she had a wandering left eye, she didn’t need to feel ‘dumb’ on top of that:

So I talked loud.

All of the time

And we were always getting into trouble for it.

All of the time.

Oh don’t feel sorry for us  we got used to getting into trouble for not using ‘soft voices’  and sometimes, because we were on the honor system, we were supposed to take ourselves to the basement and check in. Most of the time we just went out to the playground for 20 minutes and then took ourselves back to class.

Well, Nightmare Theatre did some sort of Zombie Fest and by Easter Sunday Betsy and I were all about Zombies- where did they come from? Did they have stinky breath? How come when they ran their heads didn’t fall off?

We even went up to my unfinished attic and drew them all over the exposed ceiling joists.

And then we had to go to Church – for Easter Mass.

It’s not like this ends bad for me and Betsy.

We were sitting there listening to a story about dead people coming back to life and a story about an empty tomb and crying women-

So I look over at Betsy and she’s already shaking her head.

 I am already nodding.

And she looks confused- I knew that look, she was trying to figure out if I had said something so to get my point across I made what we called ” Zombie Arms ” ( you know how Zombies walked with their arms straight out? Those were Zombie Arms.)

Betsy, to clarify things made Zombie arms and went a little slack jawed.

I nodd.

She shakes her head in disbelief.

” Yeah- huh ” I stage whisper.

” Jesus was a Zombie?” she asks- you know loud.

And to make sure my friend can hear me I say, ” yeah and he’s coming back- today “

You know, I’m not sure if it was really that quiet in that huge Church on the day Betsy and I dropped to the floor and crawled up the side aisle to escape the Zombies, but that’s the way I remember it.

And to this day I have this theory.

I think that me and Betsy could go through our entire lives committing one sin after another because I’ll bet to this very day everyone in the Church that day are still praying for our Souls.

I know I do.

And here ends the promised story about

 Me, Betsy and The Church Zombie

photo by: Anodyne

photo by: Anodyne

Let’s Do IT!

/ Anita Marie / Leave a comment

 

Photo: Vintage Resources
Photo: Vintage Resources

 

It may not look like Spring

It may not be acting like Spring

Still.

It IS Spring…

(audio only)

Hiding From Baby Jesus

/ Anita Marie / 15 Comments

For Easter my husband bought me a brand new laptop to make it easier for me to write while mobile- which is a huge help because I’m sort of behind schedule on some of my projects.

So.

How do I thank my husband who also paid extra so that the IT guys would set it up and all I had to do was hit the on switch and get to work?

I thanked him by downloading  David Tennant wallpaper on my brand new laptop-

By that I do mean the nifty Easter present that my generous husband bought for me because he’s trying to find ways to be supportive of someone who spends most of her time writing and paying more attention to an imaginary world then to the real one ( of which he is a member. )

teacher

One of my friends told me, after I mentioned this, that though she appreciated the humor and that she really liked the picture… that didn’t sound like a very nice thing to do to Luis- being that I also forgot it was Easter and didn’t even bother to dye a single egg or buy him a card.

But then came the words that will follow me into the next world:

” You know Anita, it’s probably NOT a good idea to make Baby Jesus cry on a religious holiday.”

I didn’t tell her I almost put up the picture of Tennant in a policeman’s hat and nothing else.

Talk about close call.

I’d be hiding from Baby Jesus for the rest of my life.

 

Swim Suited For Hell

/ Anita Marie / 4 Comments

tide

I never used to stress over the Swim Suit issue.

It’s not like I look good in them, but ages ago I used to like to go to the beach so I wore one – I mean, it’s not like anyone looked at me so who cares- right? I wanted to get some sun, I wanted to get into the water so I wore a bikini.

And then a few years ago my  friend suggested we go and get fitted for swim suits- you know by a professional.She does this every year – not because she doesn’t know how to dress spiffy- it’s because she looks great and has a hard time making up her mind

However, I knew I was in trouble when the ” Professional ” turned out to be girl who made Kate Moss look obese.

So the Professional pulls all these one piece things off of the rack and tells me these will be work with my flaws. She’s pointing out my ‘problem areas’.

Apparently I had a lot of them.

The suits were all one piece things, they were all black and they all had these pastel flower prints on them.

A few even had these skirts- Jesus Wept, skirts?

“If my Grandmothers saw me in any of these they’d ask me why I was dressing like an old lady. Okay, look whatever, do you have anything with some color? I mean…these are all black.”

” Colors are not going to work with your body type, black is slimming and more complimentary to a figure like yours. “

And then after handing me the old lady suits she turns to my friend and starts talking about the lovely selection of new suits that just came in that would look just  ‘ beautiful’ on her.

Just as the Professional  made for the center racks- you know where all the pretty suits are and before my friend, who is not one of those Customers you want to mess with,opened her mouth took the Salesperson’s head off-  I dropped the suits at the the ” Professional Fitter’s”  feet and said, ” to bad they don’t make things like that to demphasize a lousy personality.”

So what brought this on today?

I found out the store that told me to spare my fellow Beach Visitors the pain of having to see me in a swim suit by wearing something that maybe, if she were to go blind and didn’t know what she was putting on my Grandma wouldn’t have touched with a ten foot pole….

went out of business.

All I can say is

YAYAYAYAYAAYYAAAAAYYYYY!