I found this story about Zac at Archie McPhees Blog.
This is what they said about Zac over at Archie’s :
1. Zac is awesome.
2. He toured Seattle.
3. The video of his tour was edited to a Jurassic 5 song.
4. He underwent an Archie McPhee chickenification process.
After watching the video, you may return to your normal life exactly 35% happier than you were before you watched it.
They do not lie at Archie’s.
No its NOT really theme song Tuesday.
I just wanted a reason to post this song.
LOL.
I wanted to write something about the Seafair Pirates- and after much consideration I thought it would be fun to write about the terror we looked forward to ( this would have been in the late 60’s early 70’s ) when we would head out to the Torchlight Parade in downtown Seattle.
We used to ask our Parents ” Will the Pirates be there? Do you think they’ll carry people off? Will they have swords? Do you think they’ll cut anyone’s feet off this time? ( When you sat on the curb the Pirates would come by and scrape their swords along the ground and you had to pull your feet up off the street OR ELSE ).
My Mom, always the voice of reason would say about the feet getting cut off thing- ” Well you know, accidents happen.”
I would shake with joy. ” Oh no. ” I would not exactly be whispering as my family buried their fingers or whatever was close at hand into their ears.
Seafair Pirate: Photo: A.M. Moscoso
When I got to the Parade I would try and would force myself to scream in terror to run to my Mom or my Grandma and cry like the other kids did. I must say, I did put forward a darn fine effort. But at some point it would all fail and I’d take off down the street after the Pirates waving whatever I had in my hands over my head like a sword and yelling on the smoke filled street” Come back here you Scullywags”.
Seafair Pirates: Photo A.M. Moscoso
So over 40 years later I am at the Tour De Terrace Parade in Mountlake Terrace when the Seafair Pirates come by and this little girl- I mean a tiny little girl steps off the curb with her water gun, she steps in front of a Pirates- and she shoots.
One of the Pirates stopped leaned forward and dared her to do it again and she did.
She got her Pirate stickers and turned around and looked up at me- she looked a little nervous and a little scared and I told her with absolute certainty:
” That’ll teach that Scullywag. “
Because You Can Never Enough
Here Are More
SEAFAIR PIRATES
PHOTOS
BY
A.M. MOSCOSO
Seafair Pirates-Photo By A.M. Moscoso
I know this- had I been a Pirate on the same street as those clowns, those clowns wouldnt be standing around. They'd be running around. Photo: A.M. Moscoso
You don't want to know. Seafair Pirate Photoby A.M Moscoso
... This Pirate is Famous for being the first Seafair Pirate I have ever hugged...Seafair Pirate Photo A.M Moscoso
They are wearing and carrying severed body parts. Sigh. Seafair Pirates Photo By A.M. Moscoso
I was getting ready to write when I heard a knock on my door.
I could hear more than one voice and I figured to let it go- not answer-I’m infamous for not answering my phone or the door when I am writing.
But my dogs have no rules like that.
Back to the door…
I heard one of my dogs run down the hall and just after the second knock I heard one of our wooden kitchen chairs fall over and I heard Domino start to cry and just as I got to her I could see her stretched out on the floor, it didn’t look like she was breathing.
So I cleared her airway, clamped her jaws shut with my hands and blew air into her nose, she went from being stiff to limp which scared me- but I still wasn’t sure she was breathing and just as I was about to check her heart she turned her head up…and looked at me.
Domino is almost 11, she’s spirited and curious and smart and she has had some problems before she had this episode, but I think this thing has happened before because she wasn’t scared after she got up. Now she’s chasing her sister off of her bed and from the look on her face the cats-or as they are known to us- her brothers- are next on her list.
So a few minutes ago I went out to my porch to see if whoever was at the door left some sort of note- there was one.
It was a flyer from The Jehovah Witnesses- they want to help me get close to God.
My nephew would have been 24 next month, my beloved cat Wolfgang who died three years ago would have been 20. My Sister is a breast cancer survivor. Domino’s health- for all her determination- is failing bit by bit.
My friend’s Mom just passed on.
I am plenty close to God right now.
I’m not sure if this is such a good thing.
a.m.m.
I like to think of myself as a writer, so when I sat down to try to express how I felt about the BP Oil Spill, and what it meant to me, all I could think of was a picture I saw and the first thought that popped into my head was:
The Turtles Are Dieing.
Its not fair.
To any of us.
Photo: Kevin Rosseel /MorgueFile 6/9/2008
Rain is pourin’ down like the
heavens are hurtin’.
Seems like it’s been dark since
the devil knows when.
How do you go on, never knowin’
for certain,
Will the sun ever shine again?
From HUFFPO: BP Spill 2010
Fells like it’s been years since
it started to thunder.
Clouds are campin’ out in the valley
and glen.
How do you go on, when you can’t help
but wonder.
Will the sun ever shine again?
From Getty: VENICE, LA - APRIL 30: Fishermen wait in line to receive a contract from BP company representatives to use their boats to help clean up the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico that is approaching the coast
What if the rain keeps fallin’?
What if the sky stays gray?
What if the wind keeps squallin’,
And never go away?
Nicole St Aubin: Santa Rosa National Seashore- dead animals washing up on shore already!
Maybe the soon the storm will be
tired of blowin’.
Maybe soon it all will be over, amen.
How do you go on, if there’s no way
of knowin’?
Will the sun ever shine?
Wish I could say.
Send me a sign-
One little ray.
Lord, if you’re list’nin’, how long
until then?
Will the sun ever shine again?
From AP: Research assistant Megan Broadway holds an injured sea turtle at the Institute for Marine Mammal Studies in Gulfport, Miss., Saturday, May 1, 2010. The institute is gearing up to help marine mammals that may be injured by the oil slick in the Gulf of Mexico.
When I was a kid I wanted to be a Scientist
just like Dr Phibes.
Phibes had a great lab, he was a musician and his ‘experiments’ seemed to astound and amaze everyone in the most dramatic fashion.
As a weedy little kid whose best friends were a crippled kid with braces on her legs a hearing aid in each ear and massively thick eye glasses and who I was absolutely convinced was a Science Experiment project gone PERFECT and another kid who uses to sit in my cherry tree with me and plan ” death defining tricks ” that involved our radio flyer wagons, yellow Tonka dump trucks big enough for us to ride in and Highway 99 at the bottom of street- you know, Phibes just appealed to me in a very big way.
Of course, at the end of the day my interest in Phibes and Science and those Vincent Price mad scientist kits fully prepared me for the job I had in a Funeral Home.
I should also mention that one of my favorite tv shows is
” Say Yes To The Dress.”
That’s a show about women looking for the perfect wedding dress.
Yes.
I am serious.
All I can add to this post is this thought-
it might be a really good idea to monitor what your kids watch on tv.
You wouldn’t want them to turn out non traditional or weird or scary or strange.
Would you?
Years and years ago- when he was about eight years old, the second born in my family got mad at me for taking away his Nintendo.
To show me how evil I was and how I had destroyed his life- he drew a picture of a cemetery and wrote his name on every single tombstone. I was impressed because there were a couple of dozen of those things and they were all different styles. It was obvious the kid had put a lot of work into that picture.
In fact I know exactly how much work he put into it because he drew it on the while sitting in the kitchen floor when I was making dinner and I was stepping over his emotionally distraught form every time I turned around.
That aside the entire picture was cool, it was detailed there were twisted black trees, zombies, coffins and a full Moon with teeth.
There may have been a Nintendo hanging from its mouth.
Oh and it had the same color hair as me.
It was also wearing a witch’s hat.
Anyway.
I liked it so much I put it in a frame and showed it too my friends.
One day my kid came home from school and caught me showing off his artwork.
He pulled the framed picture out of my hand, stomped his little foot and said, ” I hate you. AND you’re stupid.”
Until today I thought that little picture was the funniest slapdown any kid had ever put on paper and shoved under a parent’s bedroom door- and then I found this on the interwebs:
Do you know why I love Easter?
For starters you get to wear pretty clothes, eat chocolate and in some cases get presents.
I know, that sounds a lot like Valentines Day and Christmas. But take away the disembodied human hearts that seem to float around like Donovan’s Brain and what do you get? That’s right- in the end even Valentine’s Day- with all that potential to be more is just another Holiday.
But Easter?
I don’t care what anyone else thinks
It is a morbid holiday wrapped in pastel colors and delivered to you in a basket and said basket is left by your sleeping defenseless form by a rabbit that can walk around like a human.
I’ve heard that those bunnies are over six feet tall and that they have magical powers.
Honestly, a reasonable person may think this scenario will not end well.
That’s why I love Easter.
It’s just like Halloween-minus the demons and witches and graveyards of course.
Personally, I think Easter is Halloween for people who don’t want to admit to themselves they are into the odd and macabre in a very big way
Painting up eggs to make them up to look happy and then placing them in a decorative way in a basket?
UGH.
I worked in a Funeral Home.
We called that process the dressing and casketing of the dead and if you think I will be sitting around cracking hardboiled eggs open this Sunday morning you are SO wrong.
When I was a kid-well, to be honest I’d be doing it to this day if she didn’t live so far away and I hate to drive at night – I used to get up in the middle of the night steal my little sister’s chocolate bunny out of her basket and sneak out into the hall with it.
Then I would bust off the bunny ears and eat just one- I’d share the other with my dog or brother.
The rule was whoever got there first got the ear.
Then I would put the earless bunny back into her basket.
I can’t help but to feel that of all of my sins if I were to make it to the Pearly Gates THAT is the one that will keep me out of heaven and this is why…
My sister’s name is Esther and when we used to call her ” The Esther Bunny “
I read this to my husband and I asked him if he thought it was funny.
He said, ” its funny as Hell “
I was a little concerned at that line.
So I said ” but you weren’t laughing.”
He told me he was laughing on the inside.
Yeah, you do that I thought to myself as I laughed ( on the inside ) at the thought of his earless – soon to be headless chocolate bunny waiting to visit him Easter Morning.
This is a note from my friend Ronnie Ray:
There is going to be a CD release and a benefit for Terry Hoskins at 2141 State Route 125 in Amelia, Ohio on Saturday…March 27th starting at 6:30 P.M. So if anyone on your site is close by, I hope they’ll stop in an support our cause. Home Aid is our foundation.
-Ronnie Ray
To See The Video Go HERE
For Updates about Ronnie Ray Taking this story on the road go HERE
I like this song and video for a variety of reasons but there are two stand out moments for me-
1) I ike it when Paul Hipp starts to take his clothes off, and not for the reason you’d think. He’s losing his shirt- GET IT?
2) This song was released last year and it is about B of A and the bailouts- but with that chucklehead Senator Bunning who told people who paid into their unemployment benefits to go and F^%$ themselves and they weren’t going to get another dime on his watch- this song has proven its captured the Spirit ( or lack of soul ) the ” Upper Classes” who will never ever taste the fear that they are ramming down the throat of every single
American
for no other reasons that they are taking care of their own.
Somebody needs to tell our story.
I love you Paul Hipp.
a.m.
Here is a song to keep us all dancing through the depression!
FREE MONEY IN THE USA
I cant pay my bills, my cards are maxxed
but the same old greedy banker hacks
are taking million dollar bonuses from my tax
Busting laws and breaking backs
AIGee your dumb said the man in the suit
With his bonuses and his sack of loot
The same guys who caused the train to crash
Are the only people still making cash
AIG I’m dumb FDIC my thumb
Shoved up my BofA
Free money in the USA
I got no place to stay
I lost my 401k
Now it’s all gone away
Free money in the USA
Binding legal obligations
In a broke and worthless paper nation
one six five million in bonus pay
Free money in the USA
The first banker to press that case
may win in court but will one day face
an angry mob that he will meet
coming through the gates of easy street
Cancel all bonus’s or put them in jail
We’re all to goddamn big to fail
With so many people out of work
I hear some wealthy banker jerk
Say they can’t attract the brightest and best
Like the ones who got us into this mess
Without hundreds of millions in retention pay
Free money in the USA
Go down to the unemployment line
There’s a lot of people who’d do just fine
To right this ship and fix your bank
For a decent wage and a hearty thanks
for some honest pay for an honest day
Fuck aig fuck BofA-holes
© Paul Hipp 2009
Photoof Paul Hipp by the brilliant Kelly McDowell
Irregular Bones 
