The next time that Special Someone asks what you want
just tell them:
You Can Leave Your Hat On
Life
Just Curious
How easy is it for you
to walk down a street
that you have never been on before?
At The Bus Stop Today
I heard this story
about a woman who was upset because no one cared that one of her co-workers had quit- there was no goodbye card or treats or anyone from this person’s department showing a slight bit of interest in this employees departure….
Maybe it had something to do with the fact that
this person used to send their trash from their lunch down a elevator to the receptionish with a note to the that said
” please run this outside to the dumpster for me. “
Or
That this person demanded inter-office mail be placed directly into their hand
instead of their mailbox
which is how the rest of the employees in the building got their mail
and that if this person was on the phone they asked you stand beside their desk with the mail or package
in your hand
until they were done.
When nobody agreed with this woman’s sense of outrage she looked worried-
and then concerned
when
she was met with the stunned looks that she saw on at least half a dozen faces.
I think that maybe tomorrow somebody will be eating lunch
all alone
from now on.
The She-Demon Yard Nazi
So I have this neighbor that my entire family has known for over 20 years.
When I told her my nephew died she didn’t call to pass her condolences on to the Family- who at times were the only people on the block who would speak to her.
Nope.
Instead she called the City to complain about the grass being to tall along my fence that does not line her property.
Anyone want to buy my house?
It borders
The Inner Circle of Hell
so you’ll save boodles on your heating bills during the winter
and right now
Hell is Freezing over so it’s pretty cool around here despite the warm weather….
The Bees Knees
It’s Saturday.
I’m about to make a PEZ run
and
my favorite Capri pants and t-shirt that I like to wear when I go into creative mode
have been lightly sceneted
with
my favorite perfume…which is Marshmallow Mist Body Spray…
and I have spent the past 24 hours watching
The Twilight Zone Marathon.
All of this means:
I feel like the Bees Knees
I’m going to be doing a lot of writing.
But first I believe I shall rock a little….
THIS LITTLE GIRL`S GONE ROCKIN` – Lyrics
I WROTE MY MOM A LETTER AND THIS IS WHAT I SAID…
WELLA WELLA WELLA WELLA WASHED ALL THE DISHES AND I DID A LOT MORE,
I EVEN BOUGHT THE DINNER AT THE GROCERY STORE.
AND NOW, MOM, YOU`LL FIND THE KEY NEXT DOOR,
THIS LITTLE GIRL`S GONE ROCKIN`.
I LEFT SOME BISCUITS FOR THE PUP, I PUT FRESH WATER IN HIS CUP.
AND NOW I`M OFF, I`M GONNA LIVE IT UP, THIS LITTLE GIRL`S GONE ROCKIN`.
WELL, I`LL BE HOME ABOUT TWELVE TONIGHT, AND NOT A MINUTE, MINUTE LATER,
DON`T FORGET THE FRONT DOOR LIGHT, THAT`S ALL FOR NOW, I`LL SEE YOU LATER, GATOR.
YOU`LL FIND EACH THING THAT YOU WANTED DONE, I`M OFF TO MEET THAT SPECIAL ONE.
AND BOY OH BOY WILL WE HAVE FUN,
`CAUSE THIS LITTLE GIRL`S GONE ROCKIN`.
On My Way Back
I’ll be honest.
I’ve known better days.
But home is home and I’m on my way back.
a.m.
Blame It On Chuck
For real…I was going to write.
But then there was a knock on the door and the UPS guy brought me a little present from Chuck…by that I mean from Converse All Stars- the shoe people.
In the box were two brand new pairs of nifty shoes…
This is pair number #1
( yes they’re a plaid print…in honor of you know WHO…get it?
🙂 )
and
here’s pair number #2
very pretty- they’ve got flowers on them
Well, I tried them on and sat down to write…(in the flower ones if you must know ) when I just sort of got stuck.
For real I was probably distracted because these are freaking awesome shoes….anyway…
So I do what I always do when I want to get some inspiration- I put on some cool shoes, I pull out my guitar, hook it up to my amp and sing along to some of my favorite songs- that’s what I’m doing now.
So- if you need a time out would you care to join me in a little Mambo?
It’s good for the Soul.
or maybe it’s just fun.
I’ll be honest
…mostly it’s just fun-
give it a whirl!
IF
Talent.
Some of us have it.
And some of us don’t.
T-Minus 10
Do you know what happens on July 10th?
returns
which means….
Bruce Campbell is back.
YAY!
Here’s a little tune in honor of
the big day.
Enjoy
Irregular Bones 