from:
Humour
A Cautionary Song
As you go through your life my son,
Some things you shouldn’t do
Remember this advice my love
You’ll always find it true
Don’t ever lie or steal or cheat
Don’t be late for work
Don’t be slothful, Don’t be vengeful
Don’t act like a jerk
Don’t forget to look out for those folks who have the least
And don’t get stuck intractably
In two-thousand year religious wars
In the Middle East
Don’t forget your table manners Do not slurp your stew
Don’t forget to comport yourself, like you’ve got a frickin’ clue
Don’t eat at the table like swine feed at the pig-trough
And don’t fight a two front war, even Hitler couldn’t pull that shit off
Remember this and you will be the hit at every feast
And don’t get stuck intractably
In two-thousand year religious wars
in the Middle East
(Bridge)
Make sure you’re kind to everyone Make sure you always share
Make sure you never leave the house without clean underwear
Make sure to keep things tidy, if you can’t keep them immaculate
And make damned sure your WMD intel is accurate.
(Modulate)
Don’t look in the mouth when you get a new gift horse
Don’t try to form democracies with Military force
Don’t speak until your spoken don’t let good sense go astray
And land wars in Asia. Everyone knows that cliché’
But if you heed just one thing
Let me say last, but not least
Don’t get stuck intractably
In two-thousand year old religious wars
in the Middle East
Dumb ass
Curtain
Angry Ol’ John McCain
A Commentary In Song….
By that I mean if those Crazy Twins from The Shining made a Political Commentary and set it to music and posted it on Youtube it would sound like this:
LOL Cats Are Not Pleased
Yes I Am….
Weird News From A Weird World
CANADA IS A TOUGH PLACE….
When a 72-year-old Levis, Quebec, woman cleared her walk with a snowblower in December, sending some of the snow onto the adjacent property, the 43-year-old neighbor grabbed his blower and sent it back, and the two spent about 10 minutes blowing snow on each other before they stopped. (They “faced each other,” “engines roaring,” wrote the Canadian Press.) The neighbor then allegedly punched the woman (and her husband, who had come to help her) and was charged with assault. [Edmonton Sun-CP, 12-5-07]
Don’t Laugh, Don’t Laugh….
A 36-year-old man attempted to hang himself in a closet in January, but his girlfriend discovered him in time and pulled him down, but that just angered the man, who then fought with the girlfriend. A passer-by stepped in to help the woman, and in the process applied a wrestling hold to the suicidal man’s carotid artery, inadvertently killing him (San Diego, Calif.) (Irrelevant fact: The deceased’s last name was Kevorkian.) [KNSD-TV (San Diego), 2-1-08]
Hey guys…the deceased’s last name IS relevant…in a Twilight Zone sort of way
In The Long Ago before the age of Google I’m sure a lot of stuff like this happened:
1993 — Alvin Lastimado Jr., 18, was arrested in August at the Wahiawa, Hawaii, Public Library and charged with assault. He had been holding a woman against her will in his home, where he began to utter a satanic chant. In the middle of the chant, he forgot the words and told the woman he was going to the public library to look them up. The woman got free and called the police, who intercepted Lastimado in the “occult” section.
these
cool stories were found at
Return of The Obama Girl
Wow…the Obama Girl argument sounds much more civil then what I hear in regular conversations about the ’08 Race. Maybe we should sing about it instead of yelling and wear cuter outfits instead of those slogan t-shirts.
amm
from CNN
( really…this link goes to CNN…this is a REAL STORY! )
The Cookie Made Me Do It
If I tried to use this as an excuse I’d get the ticket AND a Court Ordered Mental Health evaluation
By Associated Press
SALISBURY, Conn. (AP) – Police say a man’s excuse for speeding through a small Connecticut town takes the cake – or, at least, the cookie.A state trooper who stopped the 1993 BMW last fall says its driver, 28-year-old Justin Vonkummer of Millerton, N.Y., blamed his driving problems on an errant Oreo.
Vonkummer told the trooper that an Oreo had just slipped from his fingers as he dunked it in a cup of milk, and that he was trying to fish it out when he lost control of his car.
Prosecutors learned in court this week that Vonkummer had been charged with speeding and driving under a suspended license – not driving under the influence, as a clerk had mistakenly noted in the court records.
Vonkummer’s attorney declined to comment. The case is pending.
God Chat from The Bones
Hi God and Happy Easter….being it’s Jesus big day and all I thought I’d keep this chat in keeping with the day so here we go.
Dear God:
Do you know PEEPS has it’s own site?
and that they no longer just do Easter Candy? They have totally expanded and I’m impressed….those Christmas Tree Peeps are quite the treat.
And do you know there’s a remake of Jaws and Star Wars…with an all PEEPS cast?
Plus God there’s even a group that does PEEPS research? They study the Basic Science of Peeps and Peeps Health HERE
Now instead of cards here are some PEEPS pictures…they sort of celebrate your divine inspiration …like stained glass windows in church but you know…funnier.
Oh God up there in the Heavens I know how you feel about this cloning thing….so if I don’t get into cloning will you send one of the Plagues to get the person who made this….
Make your own PEEPS…Heretics…they’re truly a pain aren’t they?
Yeah, I thought you’d agree with me on that.
Well God, it’s been a good Chat.
It’s supposed to be a nice day and I’m super sorry you have to spend the entire thing in church.
Ha.
Later Gator
and
AHHHPEEEEPPPP.
Why Politics Sux
Any system that can produce something like this deserves to have a stake driven through it’s nasty demon filled heart.
amm
Irregular Bones 