She first appeared when I needed to cut 

 some Toxic People out

 my life-

I cut them lose and I felt a little guilty but a lot lighter.

I called on her again when

 I had some Toxic Relatives to cut lose- not a problem- once you start thinking of your life as something worth protecting you’d be surprised how easy it is to do that.

She was pleased.

I did it all so I could get my life back on track 

 Now I’m the uncaring, unfeeling, driven mean woman that’s on everybody’s ‘ you know what list’.

I know because they told me so.

They tell me every chance they get.

In the old days I’d have been hurt.

But I’m passed that.

I thought.

Today was bad and I thought if anything

sets me back

today will

Then I thought

To Hell with that.

To Hell I say.

So I started to write

And with each word I put down I

felt

stronger.

The Toxic Avenger Strikes Again.

Hurray!

I know this woman who pulls this stunt at business meetings: she stays seated and talks real soft so that people have to lean over or kneel at her side so that they can hear what she says.

It’s a stupid trick and people fall for it all the time.

I stand a few feet away so that she has

to look up when she talks to me.

She hates my guts.

I think that’s a good thing in this case.

When I was in High School my main tormentor was not a girl, it was not a relative, it was a short smarmy smart ass that the teachers loved and the cheerleaders loved and his dog probably loved him too.

Had we grown up in the 1950’s his nickname would have been Chip or Champ or Sport, something like that.

So you’d think that this well loved shiny bright young man who was headed for a shiny bright future in the suburbs with a shiny woman waiting for him there named ” Buffy ” ( or something like that )and 3.5 shiny children- would have something far better to do then follow me around with his mob of shiny best friends and ask me things like,

” Why do you have to wear that leather jacket? What are YOU trying to prove. Freak.”

” What is it with you and that black eye liner no one cares what you look like. Freak ”

” Nobody cares about you or your stupid guitar. How’d YOU get into a band? Freak. ”

” Why do YOU ride a motorcycle to school? Freak.”

” You’ll never amount to anything you ugly dog. Freak. ”

It went on and on and one until day I lifted the jerk straight off the ground and gave him a black eye.

The questions stopped and his Shiny friends would curl their shiny lips at me and scuttle away when  we crossed paths at school (or anywhere else)

When I passed him in the halls he’d be mumbling ‘freak’-

of course.

Almost 20 years later I run into the one person at the Grocery Store who seems to know and care about what’s become of our Class. 

She looks up from the Fresh Produce, sees me and practically drops her toddler as she races over to me and starts talking about my Shiny Friend.

He had gone on to get the Shiny Wife and the Shiny Life and all of that got mashed into the rear end of a truck.

 My Shiny friend watched his Shiny Wife die next to him on the car seat and he expired on the way to the hospital calling her name.

” I can’t believe it, ” she cries.

By then I was working in a Funeral Home and I could believe something like this could happen to anybody. Even bright shiny people.

This woman bursts into tears and her kid slides to the floor  ” the world has lost so much.”

I tasted something sour in my mouth and before I could react to it I put on my Funeral Director’s somber thoughtful face and said with concern and dignity, ” It has.”

When she turned away I smiled.

I really did.

What can I say besides-

Freak.