I just realized….it’s September.
October is coming.
And before you know it
Halloween
Let’s Dance.
No Let’s
Mash.
Funny
Aloha Friday!
For A Good Time Click This
I get this e-mail from my friend Mark and in it is this video clip and in part this note from his nephew:
Relatives,
I know you have all already done SO much for my career and I have
constantly asked you to help me with this, that and the other thing.
It has ALL been worth it though.
One of the managers at GOTHAM comedy
club told me last night that in 30 years in the business he has NEVER seen
anyone accomplish as much as I have in as short a time span. I told
him it was only because I have the best family and friends in the world.
That was a lie obviously, but it sounded sincere and compassionate.
The truth is that Its mostly because I am naturally gifted and I make
good use of the “casting couch”.
This gets better….
One little Click HERE and you’ll have a Good Time.
( just an FYI there’s a lot of swearing so you won’t want to play this at work etc )
http://famecast.com/backstage/artist.php?artist_id=5612&video_id=9845
And your little dog too….
I didn’t like the movie.
I didn’t like the actor who starred in it.
This I love
I Went To Sin City and All I Brought Back Was a Keychain
I was going to ask my Mom to write me a note to God to have me excused from Sunday Prayers.
But then I thought, I’ve got a bone to pick with you Hoss, so let’s do this.
Jesus Christ, I spent three days and two nights in Las Vegas Nevada and I’m not sure who said it was this wild place but they need to be fired.
First of all, I don’t know how wild Professional Bingo players get, but let me paint you a picture…they DON’T.
There were old people and young people and people with their kids. I only saw two people that looked like genuine lounge lizards- they were wearing bright yellow and blue suits and sprayed on tans- and it turned out they were doing an act.
I know because I asked.
I asked the guy where I could find the gambling guys like the ones I’ve seen on TV and one guy said ” in some Hollyweird Fancy Boy’s Dreams “
har, har.
I sat around a few of Wedding Chapel places and watched people get married, which was fun, I asked my husband if we could renew our vows he agreed.
When I said I wanted to find an Elvis impersonator to do the honors he disappeared for the rest of the afternoon.
Humph.
That’s okay though…cause I ordered room service and sat around my room and ordered movies that I didn’t like and put it all on his credit card.
I only spent sixty dollars.
Can you imagine Lord what I could have done if I’d REALLY been mad?
So that was my big Vegas Trip and God here’s a heads-up: I’m planning a vacation to see some mummies and if it turns out those are fake too me and you are going to have issues
Big Ones.
Later.
I mean, see you next Sunday and AMEN.
What A Burn
I learned this great joke this weekend- want to hear it?
I thought so….
A few summers ago there was this huge fire in a chemical plant, the fire burned so hot and spread so fast that fire departments from all over the County and even other cities were called in to battle the fierce blaze.
When all the fire fighters and fire engines show up all they can do is park at the top of the hill over looking the chemical plant and watch the fire burn because it’s just to intense of a fire to get near.
And then from nowhere this little volutneer fire truck full of Volunteer fire fighters go tearing by all of the big Engines- they weave between all of those cars and grounded helicopters and hundreds of reporters and they bomb down the hill straight towards the Chemical Plant.
They stop just short of the blaze they jump out of their truck and they start fighting the fire.
Wouldn’t you know it? They managed to do enough to fight the fire down that all of the other engines are able to come in and together they all stop the blaze.
Weeks later the Chemical Plant Owners hold a special award luncheon for the Volunteer Fireman and they give them a check for ten thousand dollars.
” So how will your department use this award? ” asks the Chemical Plant owner.
And the Volunteer Fire Chief says, ” Well, first thing we’re gonna do is replace the brakes on our Fire Engine.”
I’z Smart
|
Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence |
|
( this means I have a big mouth, right? )
You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator. |
Deep Thoughts From Deep Space
Red Dwarf…it’s not just a funny TV show.
Well…okay it is.
Check This Out:
Who Am I????
You’re The Canadian!
While many people have accused you of being boring and very
plain, you know that you can take their breath away if they give you a
chance. You really like grains, crops, and farms, but you also enjoy
backpacking and wild adventures. But every time you stop, it seems like
someone is making fun of your name. You wouldn’t mind that much if
Quebec declared independence.
Take the Trains and Railroads Quiz
at RMI Miniature Railroads.
Is Googling The Bible A Sin?
You’re testing me God…I know you are. Like you want to see how fair and compassionate and forgiving and all Churchy with my fellow human beings I’ve been.
I’ll confess straight up.
I’m going to lose, but what the Hell…you gotta forgive me for blowing it because it’s in the rules. Okay, I didn’t learn the rules in Sunday School, I googled them.
So there.
Hey as an FYI is Googling The Bible A Sin?
Oh, at this stage of them game who cares.
Let’s get started, shall we?
Dear God
This week was chock-full-o nuts and I managed to crunch into every single one on the tooth that I chipped back in 1985 when that drunk lady hit my car.
First up you threw the racists right at me as I was cruising down the highway of life.
So you ask did I forgive and move on?
Well…come on you know I didn’t.
There was this Anti-Mexican Group that protested in Seattle because they think that Mexico wants to invade the United States and Canada and that from there they plan on taking over the world.
Of course there was a Counter Protest and in the course of events-
Beer Cans and Water Balloons were thrown by Counter Protestors.
I don’t know which set me off the water balloons or beer cans.
Like were the balloons full of beer
or not?
Just curious.
I mean either or, the result was very chuckleicious.
And then of course I must’ve taken your name in vain about a million times in ten seconds after hearing that this bridge here in Washington collapsed as a flatbed truck carrying an excavator drove across it.
I know it was like a sign from you. But the thing is I’m not sure what the sign meant.
I’m willing to chalk that one up to one of those God Mysteries and walk away from it.
And I know how amused you are by the local stuff from the County I live in otherwise weird stuff like this wouldn’t keep happening:
Like there was a LONNGGGG newspaper story about what it’s like to work in McDonalds.
Here it is in short form:
In the Service Industry you get treated like a Servant.
That sucks.
End of story.
They must pay per word at the Herald.
Mountlake Terrace made it into Wikipedia. You did that right? I mean, who the Hell else would pull a stunt like that? Oh wait….yeah that figures.
So there it is God, at every turn I had a chance to float above it all and make you proud. Instead, I sprayed Pam on the my sled and shot my way straight down every single slope you put me on top of.
It was darn fine ride.
At any rate I want to see how you top this week.
You have your work cut out for you, but I guess you know that.
So that’s it for now
See you next Sunday and……
Amen
Irregular Bones 
