Today my friend was whistling a tune as he walked by me.
He had this bounce in his step and I think he was even dancing a little.
He stopped turned looked at me and said:
” Oh Yes.
THAT was Tina Turner. “
I think Tina is his Grandma’s age.
But what the hey.
It’s a day wasted when you can’t think of at least one person can inspire you to whistle a tune.
Even if you can’t whistle well at all.
Same Planet, Different Worlds…
Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary
Day 983 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or
some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless
must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear
the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to
the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to
my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The
dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be
more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now …
:::where I got this from-my husband-who probably thinks my cat wrote it::::
I’m not a hard person to shop for at Christmas- I don’t care about stuff, I just like opening the packages and being surprised.
Which means that I’m really hard to shop for because people think that I won’t say what I want…and when I do give it up and say what I want those same people think I’m kidding so these are the things that I have asked for and have never, ever received and probably never will.
Knives.
I wanted a set of those fancy knives that all good Cooks have in their kitchens.
I’m actually a great cook and I’d have to be because I use one knife and it’s never been sharpened. So really I can work miracles in the kitchen.
In case you’re curious
I will probably never get a set of knives from anyone I know because I write about people getting their heads chopped off… A LOT…oh and I was a Mortician.
And I have a temper.
Next:
I have asked and asked and ASKED again for a
Fiji Mermaid.
Yes I AM serious.
I think they’re cool.
And after 35+ years of asking I haven’t seen a Monkey /Fish toy, model, picture or keychain under my Christmas tree.
I suppose I will never get a Fiji Mermaid because- geeze I don’t know, I guess it’s because when I’ve been asked, ” Are you serious? ” I just roll my eyes around and walk off.
Something with Two Heads.
Actually what I wanted was a Pickled Punk.
I wanted something in a jar that I could name Bixy or Lil’ Chunkles and all I know is that after years of begging I have an empty shelf in my room with no Jar…oh wait I do have one full of fake eyes that float in water but that doesn’t count because I bought it for myself.
I can’t explain the Pickled Punk no show under the tree situation. I guess there’s no way anybody in my family is going to go to a store and asked for something dead in a jar to give to someone at Christmas…even if that someone is me.
Well.
I can’t fault my nearest and dearest for not twisting Santa’s otherwise open and giving hand to give me the present of my dreams-
I did it to myself.
I just ask for weird stuff.
So.
This year I’m going traditional.
This year I’m asking for something old fashioned.
Okay.
Fingers crossed everyone
and
Merry Christmas!
I figured if I posted this picture
no one would notice I didn’t write anything for the 8th.
Worked.
Didn’t it?
a christmas rant from
The Bones
I was walking home from my bus stop yesterday when I noticed
the glaring lack of Christmas decorations on my street.
The next day I noticed
a glaring lack of Christmas decorations on a lot of houses beyond my street and I suppose that
there may not be
– to paraphrase Dickens-
much to make Merry about.
Eight of my friends have lost their jobs
my nephew lost his life
my patience is gone
my sense of humor is non-existent
and if I have to suffer through one more freaking commentary from
” Progressive Liberals” whining and bitching about how
disappointed they are in Obama’s Cabinet Appointments I am going to take my middle finger
and jab it into someones eye.
If you have a pulse and you have a job and there is the slightest ray of hope making it into your life may I suggest that you make the best out of what you have because the alternative to not having your life, a job and hope really, really sucks.
Now get the plastic Santa out of that box in your garage, pour yourself some eggnog and try to enjoy what you have.
It could all be over before you know what’s hit you.
a.m.m.
There is a tradition at the Soul Food Cafe. Each December, for the past five years, Heather Blakey has launched an Advent Calendar on the first day of December. Advent calendars have long helped build excitement and anticipation on the countdown to Christmas, typically revealing a pretty picture or piece of chocolate behind the cardboard door for each December day along the way. Heather Blakey adopted a new approach to this tradition. Each day during December a new link lights up on the Soul Food Advent Calendar.
The Cafe now has a collection of these beautiful features, kept for posterity and full of prompts and inspiration for eager writers and artists. This lens features all of them.
So check it out HERE and enjoy!
Today in the Seattle P.I. I read a story about the one of the most interesting cats – so what made Cooper- you may be thinking- so interesting to a woman who has cats-one of whom got into a fight witha Pitbull and won?
Cooper is a photographer – the humans that keep his food bowl restocked are filmakers Michael and Deidre Cross. And given that Cooper has taken some very interesting pictures I’m willing to guess that Michael and Diedre have learned a lot from him:::
One of the comments I’ve run across asks if Coopers pictures are art- he doesn’t control the camera after all.
Look, this is what Cooper sees and not only is there art in that, there is poetry and there are stories too.
So you go Cooper, if anything it will drive home the point that the world is more interesting when we’re able to see it through something other then then our own mind’s eye.
::: More On Cooper’s Pictures At:::
Cooper Will Be Featured On Animal Planet Cats 101 Episode 1
I think I know what I can expect from
my little brother for Christmas this year
Why…you may be asking yourself … would Anita Marie’s brother give her something like
that?
Well….
When I was about 6 and my brother Doug was 5 years old Chiquita Banana had an ad campaign going on and from what I can remember this woman with a basket on her head used to sing about Chiquita Bananas
“I’m Chiquita banana and I’ve come to say –
Bananas have to ripen in a certain way-
When they are fleck’d with brown and have a golden hue –
Bananas taste the best and are best for you –
Music © 1945 Shawnee Press Inc.
Doug loved bananas, he loved that stupid song and he loved to tease me because he could.
So on the day that he discovered Chiquita Anita rhymed and he could sing about his favorite fruit and torture me all in one wonderful stroke he sang that song non-stop.
He sang it on the way to school, he sang it in the bathroom he called me up when I was playing at my friend’s houses and sang it over the phone.
You’d think that he would get bored with the Chiquita Anita thing. And he did. Good thing he discovered Cheetos.
It started off as Anita La Cheeto and then I became Cheeto La Frito.
I never lived it down and on the day they bury me he’s going to magic marker Cheeto La Frito on my headstone.
But over the years I’ve grown and matured ( unlike some OTHER people in our family ) and I’ve learned to deal with my little brother’s stupid sense of humor.
When we were younger every once and awhile I’d deal with it by going into combat mode and I’d spread the stories like the one about how my brother’s girlfriend was such a mean vindictive brat that her pet turtle ran away from home and how my brother went out in the middle of the night to look for it and stepped on it by accident.
Me and Doug are both older and wiser now ( well, that’s HALF true ), Cheeto La Frito is patient, and thoughtful and Cheeto La Frito has learned that male pattern baldness runs in our family.
I am so ready for this Little Brother
Everyone knows Cheeto La Frito shows no Mercy- and if they didn’t before…
Well they do now.
Love from
am
Guess who was voted
TV’s Sexiest Man by the readers of the TV Times in the U.K?
Hey!
Good guess.
Now.
Guess who he voted for…
No.
He voted for this guy.
:::John Barrowman-The Official Site:::
:::Doctor Who star David Tennant named TV’s sexiest man:::
Irregular Bones 