Funny You Should Ask

December 16, 2009December 16, 2009 / Anita Marie / 2 Comments

A funny thing happened on the fourth day

Do you know where you can go to get Bacon Soap

or in a pinch

where can you find an inflatable Fruitcake?

I know the answer to those questions.

Personally, I think you are pretty weird for asking, but that’s okay.

When it come to human nature I am very forgiving and it is, after all Christmas.

Visit

Archie McPhee

And take a look at their WONDERFUL selection of Gifts and Toys.

And while we’re at it don’t forget the ultimate gift…perfect for that ultimate someone.

I am of course talking about

The Hula Hoop

People have even written songs about it.

Now go forth and Yule-It

a.m.

Free Spirit

December 15, 2009 / Anita Marie / Leave a comment

Winter is coming.

Free Spirit

Before it’s too late.

Story

HERE

Scrooge You

December 15, 2009 / Anita Marie / 2 Comments

By The Third Day Of Christmas I Think I Know Where I Am Going

When I was young I used to have this idea that I would pack my bags and leave on a trip the day after Thanksgiving.

I would take one suitcase and make my way to the airport and I figured that just as I was making my way to my seat on the airplane my friends would be planning their trip to the shopping mall and my family would probably be doing the same.

But I wouldn’t be there- I would be flying overhead and I would be laughing all the way.

It was such a grand plan and a grand idea and I wish I had been able to pull it off.

You see, the Anita who could have carried that plan out would not have been the Anita who puts up with things over the holidays like:

A friend who sent me a Christmas newsletter that is about her kids and their bright and rosy futures after sending me this email after I had told her my 23-year-old nephew had died from a terminal illness.

Are you ready?

This is what she said:

😦

The one time the Anita who wanted to spend Christmas with her husband in Italy while the other people were screaming at some poor clerk in her local Mall for not having what they wanted, or for not jumping fast enough when they said jump or whatever it is people do nowdays to abuse ‘ the help’ only showed up once, briefly when somehow I got stuck at this stupid, stupid Christmas Cookie Exchange.

After about an hour of talking cookies and kids and cars and clothes and being asked to guess what loser from highschool so and so had run into recently, the Hostess caught me in the hall hissing into the phone at the receptionist at the Funeral Home I was working at, ” I can’t believe there are no removals scheduled, people die all the time. Find me a corpse, page me, and get me the F%4@! OUT OF HERE!”

Do you know what?
I thought I was looking forward to the next Twelve Days but I am not.

Yet.

Wherefore Art Thou Santa?

December 14, 2009January 4, 2010 / Anita Marie / 7 Comments

On The Second Day I Hit The Road

There aren’t a lot of Christmas Decorations up in my Neighborhood.

I have seen a few of those sad looking Plastic Santas standing in some snowless front yards, I’ve also seen some of those reindeers that are made from white twiggy looking things and outlined with white lights and a few houses have wreaths on the doors and Christmas Trees in their living room windows.

Is Christmas a bust on my street?

It would look like that is the case.

Granted my next door neighbor is a Yard Nazi whose daughter threatened to shoot my dog one year but that shoudn’t be enough to chase away the Christmas Spirit, should it?

Oh Santa,Wherefore Art Thou Santa ?

When This You See- Think Of Me

December 13, 2009December 14, 2009 / Anita Marie / 3 Comments

Nurse Myra sent this clip to me.

She said that when she hears it she thinks of me.

I love to write about the weird, the odd and the macabre

I am feeling very special right now.

Muchas Hugs N.M

amm

Tom Waits
Mule Variations (1999)
What’s He Building?

What’s he building in there?What the hell is he building
In there?
He has subscriptions to those
Magazines… He never
Waves when he goes by
He’s hiding something from
The rest of us… He’s all
To himself… I think I know
Why… He took down the
Tire swing from the Peppertree
He has no children of his
Own you see… He has no dog
And he has no friends and
His lawn is dying… and
What about all those packages
He sends. What’s he building in there?
With that hook light
On the stairs. What’s he building
In there… I’ll tell you one thing
He’s not building a playhouse for
The children what’s he building
In there?

Now what’s that sound from under the door?
He’s pounding nails into a
Hardwood floor… and I
Swear to god I heard someone
Moaning low… and I keep
Seeing the blue light of a
T.V. show…
He has a router
And a table saw… and you
Won’t believe what Mr. Sticha saw
There’s poison underneath the sink
Of course… But there’s also
Enough formaldehyde to choke
A horse… What’s he building
In there. What the hell is he
Building in there? I heard he
Has an ex-wife in some place
Called Mayors Income, Tennessee
And he used to have a
consulting business in Indonesia…
but what is he building in there?
What the hell is building in there?

He has no friends
But he gets a lot of mail
I’ll bet he spent a little
Time in jail…
I heard he was up on the
Roof last night
Signaling with a flashlight
And what’s that tune he’s
Always whistling…
What’s he building in there?
What’s he building in there?
We have a right to know…

Guess What I Forgot

December 13, 2009December 14, 2009 / Anita Marie / 2 Comments

Note To Self: Day One Is Just An Abstract Idea

Guess What I Forgot To Do?

I forgot to plan for the Twelve Days of Christmas.

Back in 2007 I stuck it to wrote about my own journey to the Twelve Days of Christmas.

In 2008 I told everyone in my family I wanted a Fiji Mermaid for Christmas- they believed me.

I also did not get what I asked for.

That was okay, neither did they.

Now I have to plan a trip to Christmas.

In case your curious you can read about my other 12 Days HERE

I hope you will follow me as I make my way to

THE BIG DAY

If we’re lucky I won’t get lost on my way.

Here’s to hoping.

You Have To Make Your Own Good Time

December 13, 2009December 13, 2009 / Anita Marie / 5 Comments

I kept hearing that it might snow.

So of course it is NOT snowing.

I was not happy until I found a solution for my problem at

The Wish Jar

But then …Hey Now…I look out the window and see my cat Kolchak watching something…

I discover that somehow

I totally bent nature to my will.

Actually

I guess Kolchak did that.

But at this point who cares?

It’s SNOWING

YAY!

Photo: A.M. Moscoso- Look close, that IS snow in the picture

If you don’t think that Christmas Snow-for as light minimal as it maybe

is NOT exciting

then you won’t be impressed thatI have Wild Rabbits living in my yard

Bunnies Gone WILD in my yard

Now.

If you have Christmas Snow in your yard, or if your trapped in it somewhere take a picture of it, share it and try to enjoy it.

Snow, like the rest of life does not last forever and we have to make our own good time with it while we can.

a.m.m

An Invitation

December 12, 2009 / Anita Marie / Leave a comment

( message from Heather Blakey, owner of the Soul Food Cafe and Creator of the Soul Food Cafe Advent Calendar )

It is December and the year is coming to a close. Long standing members
will be familiar with the traditional Advent Calendars.

101 Nights At Soul Food
is a brand new blog, incorporating my
posts on Wandering the Halls of Soul Food.

During the coming 101 nights I am taking people to parts of Soul Food
that have been lying quietly, relatively unnoticed. If you feel so
inclined you can engage by creating a journal, like Lori Gloyd, create
posts and publish these on a blog.

I decided I did not have a Calender in me this year but instead I am
offering a free program. If you are new to the site this really is the
ideal time to dip your toe in the water and get to know how it all works
and to immerse yourself in it.

I would like to think that there will be a number of blogs linked to
this blog so that people will be able to see just how Soul Food works.

The main thing is to participate. Everyone who has come to Soul Food has
grown while they are here. It really isn’t a snobby, cliquey site and
people have genuinely developed as they have worked with themes and with
one another.

Everyone is welcome to engage on this blog. The thing to remember though
is that it does take time and persistent effort to establish yourself
here.

So to engage, create a WordPress blog and begin posting. When you feel
ready you can share some of your responses and experiences on 101
Nights. I am hoping that long term members will help take us down memory
lane by reposting some of their favourite posts.

warm wishes
Heather Blakey
Soul Food Café

contact Heather:

heatherblakey at fastmail dot fm