Author: Anita Marie

Is It That Time Of The Month Again?

/ Anita Marie / 3 Comments

Yes indeed, it’s Sunday.

Time to have my weekly chat with God.

I know, I know

If  I were really serious about this I’d do it every day

 but if my Mom found out I call God more then her?

She’d bust me open like a crispy Lumpia.

So anyway here we go:

 

vie1302.jpg

Dear God,

I want to thank you for a pretty good week.

Nobody that I know died- besides I knew you wouldn’t approve so I kept my hands to myself.

Thank you for creating the Universe so that I can now spend Thursdays watching ” Burn Notice “.

I think it’s wonderful that the role of floozy/spy is a man who is almost 50 years old and never shaves and wears Aloha Shirts. I like it that he credits his income and home on the beach to ” those little blue pills’.

You truly inspired someone there God and it was darn fine work.

Thank you for the heat wave that has hit the Pacific Northwest.

I was about to go out and spray something that would kill my lawn just so I wouldn’t have to mow it and woo hoo in three days you killed it dead.

God, the timing on that one, I mean I was touched.

It really felt like you were watching over me there.

I owe you for that one.

 I’d also like to thank you for this:

poysin-mouses.jpg

I walk around saying ” The Orange Ones Are Poison ” and I love -DO YOU HEAR ME- love the look people get on their faces when I say it…which is often.

By often I mean every chance I get.

And above all else thank you for aiding me on the Crispy Egg Roll Search. I’m getting closer to finding it God and I know that after these many blessings this one shall too come to pass.

Bye-

I mean

Amen

and see you next Sunday.

amm

Whose Special Day Is It?

/ Anita Marie / 6 Comments

rethelfiddle2.jpg

I changed this from something I saw at Chefleur’s blog  

because I”m like that.

The way it worked was that

you were supposed to find holidays and

historical things that happened on your birthday.

 

Here is what I learned about

November 5th. 

– amm-

 

November 5, 1979- Ayatollah Khomeini declares the USA to be “the great Satan”

Actually, I remember this when it was on the news. My mom looked up from my birthday cake- which was red velvet with black frosting- stared straight into my eyes and said, ” I don’t think so.” 

November 5,1780 – French-American force under Colonel LaBalme is defeated by Miami Chief Little Turtle.

An Invader Guy gets his butt whomped by a Native American guy named Little Turtle on my birthday. God I love that.

November 5,1605 – Gunpowder Plot: A plot led by Robert Catesby to blow up the English Houses of Parliament is thwarted when Sir Thomas Knyvet, a justice of the peace, finds Guy Fawkes in a cellar below the Parliament building.

My Niece was born on Cinco de Mayo and I was born on Guy Fawkes day. I sense a pattern here…

November 5,1935 – Parker Brothers releases the board game Monopoly.

The only game I can play, win and cheat at. Yes, the only game I’ve ever mastered and it was released on my birthday.

That’s destiny

and it all happened on

November 5th

In A Galaxy Far Far Away

/ Anita Marie / 13 Comments

skeleton.gif 

Once Upon My Time

they found a dead body out by the dumpster at my work.

Back in those days I did the mail and took out the trash and answered the phones and I was DUMB enough to fetch coffee for my co-workers who in turn left their coffee cups in the sink for me to wash.

I didn’t even drink the stuff.

So at the time I did not get upset when I found out later that these people stood around this corpse and instead of screaming or vomiting or fainting they looked at each other and said, ‘can we have Anita take care of this?’

The End

101dal1.jpg

And Then My Brain Exploded

/ Anita Marie / 11 Comments

m0hgkt3m.gif

I’m standing around talking to my friends when this acquaintance walks up, slams her purse down and rants about her unpleasant lunch experience.

She went to three restaraunts and “do you know what?” she asks us.

None of the menus were in English- well, they were but they were on these laminated cards that came inside of the menus and that really offended this woman.

They weren’t the ‘actual’ menus and damn it she said, ” this is American and the menus should be in English.

So she walked around wasting a half hour of her hour lunch and by the time she got her food her lunch hour was up.

That didn’t bother her though.

What really bothered her was that before she got to an ” American Restaurant ” she fumed about the wait staff at the three other restaurants she had stopped at and how they all ‘ spoke “Ching Chang Cho”. This is happening in America where we should all speak English she raves.

So I wait for this woman to stop talking because I want to chose my words carefully and not lower myself to calling her an in-bred cousin marrying’- seven finger on each hand genetic freak.

When she stops I say carefully, kindly, patiently “But you went into China Town for lunch. ”

” So? ” she snaps.

” They speak Chinese up there- some Japanese, Filipino- you know, it’s China Town. ”

” Well, they should speak English.”

” But it’s China Town.”

” Well this is America ”

” Uh, sure- but you went into China Town for lunch. What exactly did you think you were going to find up there? ”

And then this woman says without missing a beat, ” Mexican Food.”

07-06-07 Sux Report

/ Anita Marie / Leave a comment

bruce3.jpg 

Just when I think that everything is okay I have enough for a SUXS report- so here it is.

An 11 year old girl in Alabama was charged with drunk driving after leading police on a 100 MPH chase.

This SUX’s because someone will write a song about it and everytime a pickup truck, probably a Toyota with those gigantic wheels and a gun rack in the back window, stops beside me at a traffic light I’m going to be forced to listen to that piece of junk.

You know,  this is going to be the major SUX so I’ll leave it at there.

Besides, I’m sure there’s more on the way.

News That Matters- to me anyway

/ Anita Marie / 6 Comments

bruce4.jpg 

(okay, its a picture of The Old Spice Guy…not me deal with it)

BEIJING (AP) – Villagers in central China spent decades digging up bones they believed belonged to flying dragons and using them in traditional medicines. Turns out the bones belonged to dinosaurs, and now scientists are doing the digging

You know, I can’t really find fault with this- it looks weird but so what? Myself, I would hope that in these modern times you wouldn’t have to resort to rock eating to cure what ails you.

In my mind that is wrong.

997464-2161.jpg

I just checked out the Summer Movie Guide. Guess what I won’t be doing this summer?

And I was really counting on scoring some of that yummy theatre popcorn. All I can hope for is that the Indie Film People come up with something worthwhile otherwise I’m going to have to cough up 10.00 just to satisfy a craving for greasy popcorn.

I’ll do it- that’s how desperate I am.

cat-silhouette-1.jpg

There’s this woman who leads a group opposed to Mexicans living any where on the face of the planet and over the weekend I found out that she put a picture of a Latina activist  friend of my family on her website, as well as the name and address of our friend’s employer.

That wasn’t news but it should be, I mean, how often is it that you get to see a real life hit list?

1169988171-1168721409864.jpg

And on a way lighter note today the Roswell UFO Festival started.

Ever since I got mail and comments from friends who chewed me out for  ‘encouraging’ the UFO fantasy I’ve come out in a big way to support this festival.

First of all, I hate it when people try to reach into my head and re-wire it to suit their own needs. Second, the stories that these people are telling are just to good to let go of.

I hope they’re having fun down there today.

They’ve earned it.

costum1.jpg

amm

Certain Truths Are NOT Evident

/ Anita Marie / 12 Comments

liliuokalani.gif

When I was little and my family from Hawaii would come to the Mainland during the Summer I used to notice that if it was the 4th of July they used to stand there in a sea of American Flags and oceans of Potato Salad and look…just a little grim, maybe a little quiet and at one point someone would take me aside and tell me the story about Queen Lili’uokalani.

My Filipino Grandfather who always smiled and was a gifted and lively story teller was not so animated when he told me how The Queen was put in chains and imprisoned in her own home and I used to wonder, as he told me the story, what the Queen of England or the President of The United States being put in chains and forced to live in the basement of their homes would look like and I couldn’t see it.

When I was a kid I learned from my Grandfather ( because I sure as Hell never learned about it at school )  that  unlike the ” Declaration of Independence ”  the Queen signed a document that dissolved Hawaii’s Independence. Our 50th State – how ironic- actually LOST its Independence when it was annexed by the U.S. Governement.

I wonder if they took the cuffs off when she signed.

They may have…. but they were there all the same weren’t they?

Queen Lili’uokalani of Hawaii signed a document which read in part: “Now to avoid any collision of armed forces, and perhaps the loss of life, I do this under protest and impelled by said force yield my authority until such time as the Government of the United States shall, upon facts being presented to it, undo the action of its representatives and reinstate me in the authority which I claim as the Constitutional Sovereign of the Hawaiian Islands. – Queen Lili’uokalani to Sanford B. Dole, Jan 17, 1893.”

Hawaii was annexed  ( not admitted, not ‘became’ a state- amm )to the United States through a joint resolution of the U.S. Congress, signed into law by President McKinley on July 17, 1898.

45916099_b611e95dc7.jpg

When The Burden Is Your Soul

/ Anita Marie / 6 Comments

tied.jpg

I used to think that doing nothing was much easier then doing the right thing.

And then I realized what a burden it must be to have to tell yourself every single day that you didn’t donate food to the food bank or one of those Scout Troops or kid’s sports team leagues because ‘ you were to busy ‘ to drop a can of soup into a barrel.

It had nothing to do with the fact that you just don’t CARE enough to drop a can of food into a barrel.

But that’s what you have to tell yourself every single day.

That conversation must have gotten old for you ages ago.

Over the weekend a friend of my husband’s asked why he was out protesting a Hate Group when ‘ it’s not that much of a problem you know’ my husband’s friend said.

I’m sorry, if you’ve ever had just one person jab their finger in your face and say you don’t deserve to live because you’re a race mongrel it’s a HUGE problem.

I’ll be honest, I used to think it was easier just to ignore bigotry too because dealing with it can be a real danger to you and your home and your family.

But now I think it’s much easier to deal with a Mob of guys wearing hoods on their heads or with Swastikas tattooed on their arms and shaved into their hair then it is to live with the knowledge you told a friend to accept that they should spend the rest of their life hiding behind a locked door watching American Idol and ‘relaxing’ then to try to do their best to bring dignity and safety into the lives of their friends and family and community.

It must be hard to know you just told a friend to pretend they don’t exist, that in a way they don’t really matter. What a waste of time it must be to tell yourself everytime you look at your friend’s face that you’re telling him he’s less entitled to human dignity then you are ‘for his own good’.

I’ve changed my mind, it might be harder to do right, but when I think on it, I think its far more easier then doing nothing at all.

Today’s Sux Report

/ Anita Marie / Leave a comment

bruce1.jpg 

Another I.B. Public Service Announcement 

Scooter Libby is going free

And

 Fireworks are banned in my hometown.

Today

” The World “

Suxs.

Tune in Daily for your

I.B. Sux Report