In about nine days I’ll be leaving for New Orleans- so if you do the math, you’ll see I’ll be there a day before Halloween and I’ll have a few days down there after.
I’m going in part because I have been told there are a few cemeteries and a haunted house or two around New Orleans that you can check out. Oh. And do you know they have some knowledge of Voodoo and Jazz about town too?
I know…how cool is that?
The other reason I am going is because of something called the Toxic Baby.
I can’t explain exactly why the Toxic Baby inspired me to pack my notebook and pens and my favorite pairs of t-shirts and jeans and hiking boots and head to New Orleans over Halloween. But it has and you can read about it at the blog I’ve dedicated to my trip HERE. I’ve got a few posts up to sort of move the blog along, so if you’d like to check it out, please stop by! I’m posting there daily now will through the rest of my trip.
amm
( click the picture to get to my blog, Searching For The Toxic Baby )
“…and whatever walked there, walked alone.”
Very cool post and pictures of H’ween Decorations- in
Copenhagen. The rest of the blog IS just as fun to read and too, so check it out!
via Pieces of Copenhagen.
This is for anyone who has ever uttered the words
” She could be pretty IF she tried “
“Doll Face” Andy Huang
When I was in the fourth grade we used to play this math game where you stood up with you opponent in front of the class and you had to solve the math problem in your head and give the correct answer out loud first.
One kid in my class who I’ll call Chuck here, was infamous for screeching out a stream of random numbers and sometimes he got the answer right. The upshot is, it’s hard to do a math problem in your head with this stream of verbal vomit hitting you in the face.
SO.
After suffering through being ” Chucked” a few times- I did this before the Math game started.
I cornered ” Chuck” in the hall before class and told him if he did that to me again, I’d beat him up everyday at second recess ( just so he could suffer through first recess waiting for his beating ) for a solid week.
Yes that worked.
At least, he never did that to me again- he continued to do it to everyone else though and I’m willing to bet he STILL does things like that.
So for all you guys who wish Obama ‘would have done more’ at the last debate- thank your lucky stars I”m not your POTUS or you’d be living on Planet of the Apes by now.
And I’d be calling some of you Chuck.
I wrote this for Halloween 3 years ago- it’s one of my favorites.
Enjoy
“You couldn’t have wished for more in body” Sydney Poor was telling the other ghost about his corpse as they sat out in the corridor waiting for their autopsies to be finished.
The other ghost was a woman named Tamara and she told Sydney, “ Well I could have. I would have asked to be taller and blond and impervious to speeding cars. So do you know what…” she shook her head “ sorry, what’s your name again?”
“ Sydney.”
“ Sydney. Sydney I could have asked for more. In fact, this time I’m going in with a laundry list of things I want this time around.”
“ I’m not sure you can not do that.”
“I don’t care what you’re supposed to do. Do you know why? Because not only did I get hit by a car, it rammed me into another car and it nearly cut me in half. I didn’t die right away. Also the woman who hit me drove off and I’m willing to bet you dollars to donuts that someone driving an expensive car like hers will ever find herself in a court room explaining her actions of October 3oth 2009. So as you can imagine I’m feeling a bit wronged here.”
“ She might.”
“ She might what Sydney?”
“ Get caught.”
Tamara rolled her eyes up and slouched down in her seat.
“ I wonder how long this really takes.” She mumbled.
“ Well. Until they’re finished I suppose.” Sydney said.
“ So what happened to you?” Tamara asked Sydney.
“ Well. I’m a little embarrassed to say…”
Tamara straightened up in her chair and leaned over to Sydney and said “ Go on, your secret is safe with me. Dead men tell no tales you know.”
“ But you’re a woman.”
“ Oh come on. Tell me.”
“ My neighbors -this man and woman. Well. They thought….that I was…well …”
“ A what?” Tamara said suspiciously as she leaned away from Sydney.
“ They thought I was a Vampire.”
Tamara’s mouth fell opened.
“ They snuck into my house, dragged me down into my basement and drove a stake through my heart. Then they stuffed my mouth full of garlic and cut my head off.”
“ Oh wow Sydney. Oh wow.”
Sydney’s face was turning bright red.
“ Oh wow. That was a freaking weird death.”
“ Yes” Sydney agreed “ yes it was.”
“Still. What a way to go.”
“ I’ll say. But Tamara a vampire? How could anyone mistake me for a vampire?”
Tamara shrugged. “ I don’t know Sydney. People are funny things if you ask me.”
Tamara hopped out of her chair and went to the doors and waited. When they whispered open she told Sydney. “ Sydney. Come take a look. They’re right in the middle of working on you. You have to see this- a woman is pulling the garlic out of your mouth with her fingers. I must say, that doesn’t seem very hygienic to me.”
“ That’s my dead body you’re cracking wise over you know.”
Tamara snorted and then she focused on what was going on in the autopsy room.
“ Sydney get over here, I’m stuck to the inside of the body bag.” Tamara laughed.
“ You’ve got a very odd sense of humor Tamara.”
He got up and when he got to the door Tamara grabbed his arm and dragged him into the autopsy room.
“ I really hate these places Tamara.”
“ Don’t we all.” Tamara said as she dragged Sydney up to the table her body was laying on.
“My word you are mess.” Sydney said.
“ Yeah.” Tamara said with a tinge of pride in her voice.
“ I mean it. A mess. You look like you melted. Wait. What’s that on your head… are those scars?”
“ Bullet wounds.”
“ You’ve been shot?
“ Yep. Good thing for me the people who did that were lousy shots otherwise you’d be sitting here all by your lonesome.”
“ And what about those marks on your hands?”
“ Knife wounds.”
And before he could ask she said, “ I caught on fire a couple of times.”
“ You’ve led a very interesting life Tamara.”
She didn’t answer.
“ So. How long until …”
Tamara didn’t answer. She was trying not to laugh and failed.
“They thought you were a vampire.” Tamara grabbed her stomach as she doubled over laughing. “ What city were you living in? Stupidville? “
“ And that woman who hit you and drove off what town did she come from? “ Sydney asked
“ Very funny Sydney. The woman who hit me was a cold hearted wretch. I got in her way and smoosh here I am. I was no more then a dog to her. “
“ Well. At least you weren’t mistaken for a vampire in your final moments…speaking of- how much longer do you suppose.”
“ It’s a full moon tonight, this is going to go pretty fast. So tell me do we keep the old models or snag ourselves some new ones?” she asked pointing to the room where the bodies were wrapped in plastic and neatly stacked on shelves.
“ Well. I can tell you this much. I never want to be mistaken for a vampire again.”
“ Oh come on Syd, I’m sure there are a lot of vampires who have been mistaken for Werewolves before and I’m willing to bet they aren’t as bent out of shape about it as you are.”
Sydney looked over to the autopsy tables and then through the doorway.
“ Once we take possession, they’ll be fine- on the other hand- you know we could get some new digs. What do you think?” Tamara asked.
“ As far as bodies go, like I said before, was a good one. It used to belong to a writer. His name was Bancho Church”
“ Hey. I read his stuff. He was cool. I didn’t know he, you know moved on.”
“ Yes, well he did.” Sydney looked down and cleared his throat. “ Sort of.”
Tamara watched her body being washed and then it was bagged and someone took it to the backroom.
“ Cheer up Sydney, it’s Halloween, there’s a full moon and the night is young.”
Sydney’s body went through next and Tamara followed it “ Come one Syd, if we shake a leg I’ll bet we could get a little Trick or Treating in.”
“ You don’t…” he said.
“ Yeah. I shift and knock on doors. I swear last year I scored about five pounds of candy and got my picture taken about a thousand times. Imagine that, people have a picture of real …
“ Mental case.” Sydney interrupted her “ Okay after what we’ve been through we could use some fun. It’s a date let’s go.”
Tamara said “ Yeah. It’s a date. Happy Halloween Syd. And just so you know, I’ve ruined lives of those who stood between me and Choco-Bursts.”
Sydney waited for Tamara to laugh and when she did not, he did it for her.
And she let him.
This kid used to sneak out of her Grandmother’s house in the middle of the night to hunt around her house for
Witches and Monsters- and she used to drag around a machete while she did it.
She was like four years old at the time.
…………………………………………….
This person writes about Witches and Monsters
and
she has a machete too
When a phone line is disconnected you get this recorded message that says something about the party you are trying to reach no longer being at this number-I remember the one I used to hear when I was a kid was creepy sounding- and other people thought so too because that device turned up a lot in horror stories. But it’s a practical thing and it’s necessary.
Do you know what’s a shame?
Facebook doesn’t have something like that.
A few years ago and because it’s campaign season again- some of my FORMER Facebook friends trolled my friend list for fundraising contacts and invited my dead friends to their political events. When I realized I had been trolled I went into malice mode and didn’t tell them they were inviting dead people to an event and not only would they not be getting any money from them, the candidate wasn’t going to get a vote from them either.
What I have been seeing recently are the people who leave birthday greetings for dead people- and it would appear that they don’t know the person they’re leaving those greetings for are dead- they are deceased, they are no longer with us-
because they are leaving notes that say things like, ” Have a Great Day!” and ” See you soon!”
I’ll be honest…
The first word that pops into my mind when I saw that is
funny-
but I guess the reality of it is that seeing something like that is creepy.
Isn’t it?
amm
Back in 2007- on September 17 to be exact I found out my wonderful cat Wolfie had kidney failure- that he was terminal and that I was going to lose him.
So I was given a choice- I could take him home and nurse him the best I could- which involved giving him fluids through an I.V. and tempting his appetite every single day ( for the most part ) because he just didn’t want to eat.
Or I could ‘let him go’.
It was an obvious choice
I brought him home.
I gave him fluids just about every other day. I found foods he would eat. I took him outside and sat with him in the front yard until he tried to get up to go back inside.
Sometimes he could make it on his own- and those were the good days. And sometime he needed my help with that too- and considered that a good day too because he was with me.
If it sounds like a lot of work- I guess it was. And it was worth it. I loved those days when I woke up and he was still there- when I came home and he was still there. So yes. My life revolved around my terminally ill cat. But it wasn’t a chore and I loved him so much- so it wasn’t like I was giving up much of anything. All the things I did for him seemed like such small things- I’d have gladly done more, given more but I didn’t get the chance.
He died a month later.
Before I lost Wolfie- years before- I brought Cerbie home so that he and Domino could have a little brother or sister to play with- Domino was a high energy puppy and she had grown up to be a high energy dog. Wolfie was getting older and on some days I could tell he got tired just watching Domino run around the yard.
So Luis and I heard about some puppies from our Vet’s assistant. She told us they were Retriver/Mastiff mix and they needed homes SOON- so Luis and I went to take a look.
Right we were just going to look at the puppies.
Cerbie was a sleeping in a puppy pile- and when Luis and I saw that mass of Pups all huddled together we didn’t know what to do- how do you choose just one? Well. All of the sudden these puppies started to roll around- it was like watching lava flowing out of a volcano- and up from the middle of the puppy pile this little face popped out.
That pup took one look at us and ran to the window- threw herself up at it and stood there wagging her little tail and ‘laughing’.
So, I guess you could say Cerbie chose us- and that day we stopped at the Vets because a few days before Wolife had come home with a nasty scrape to the side of his head that had been caused by running into a tire- on a car- as it was moving. After that he made it his mission in life to pee on every car tire he walked by . He was a bit of a hard case I guess. Why he accepted pets or the moves we made as a family or the kids that were always visiting the house I’ll never know.
I guess he loved us in his own way.
I ran into the house and grabbed Wolfie and popped him into the dog crate with his new ‘baby sister’. I heard a little puppy growl. I heard Wolfie growl back and for the rest of the ride there was an ominus silence with an occasional thud that I thought was just one of the two or maybe both of them rolling around in the crate.
At the Vets I learned Wolfie weighed exactly one pound more than Cerbie. He was 10 pounds and she nine. One day Cerbie would top out at 85 lbs and she was a big dog, but Wolfie was her big brother and all it would take was a twitch of his tail to send her running out of the room or he would walk up to her and sit there and they would do ‘guard dog duty’ at the fence together. When Wolfie and Cerbie were together she was all business dignified in a way.
Cat like almost.
It was last month that I lost Cerbie- it was unexpected, it was heartbreaking, it was on September 17- five years to the day I found out I was going to lose Wolfgang.
It was later in the week when I finally let myself think about Wolfie and Cerbie – one leaving me on that day and five years before being told that other would be leaving me – I can see how it could be disturbing, it would be easy to think the Universe was really sticking it’s finger in my eye. But I didn’t look at it that way.
Wolfie brought Cerbie home- and when it was time for her to leave I think he was there to meet her- and it was right.
amm
:::Stories about Cerbie:::
:::Wolfie’s Story:::
Irregular Bones 