I was getting ready to write when I heard a knock on my door.
I could hear more than one voice and I figured to let it go- not answer-I’m infamous for not answering my phone or the door when I am writing.
But my dogs have no rules like that.
Back to the door…
I heard one of my dogs run down the hall and just after the second knock I heard one of our wooden kitchen chairs fall over and I heard Domino start to cry and just as I got to her I could see her stretched out on the floor, it didn’t look like she was breathing.
So I cleared her airway, clamped her jaws shut with my hands and blew air into her nose, she went from being stiff to limp which scared me- but I still wasn’t sure she was breathing and just as I was about to check her heart she turned her head up…and looked at me.
Domino is almost 11, she’s spirited and curious and smart and she has had some problems before she had this episode, but I think this thing has happened before because she wasn’t scared after she got up. Now she’s chasing her sister off of her bed and from the look on her face the cats-or as they are known to us- her brothers- are next on her list.
So a few minutes ago I went out to my porch to see if whoever was at the door left some sort of note- there was one.
It was a flyer from The Jehovah Witnesses- they want to help me get close to God.
My nephew would have been 24 next month, my beloved cat Wolfgang who died three years ago would have been 20. My Sister is a breast cancer survivor. Domino’s health- for all her determination- is failing bit by bit.
My friend’s Mom just passed on.
I am plenty close to God right now.
I’m not sure if this is such a good thing.
a.m.m.
Irregular Bones 
This post breaks my heart Anita.
I wasn’t sure about posting it, but I feel like me and Domino fought something off and took this round, so I did.
I’m glad you did Anita, I think it’s important to share some of the big stuff as well as the small, and often silly things (in my case anyway), that affect our lives. As you’ve no doubt noticed from my own site, you get quite a varied assortment there some days.
I know exactly you how you feel about Domino too. My eldest cat, Misty, is now 21 which is quite something for your average house cat, but although she’s showing her age she’s also showing no sign of quitting any time soon.
Its the truth isn’t it Dev? Sometimes life is lite and fluffy and sometimes its not.
But mixing it up makes for good reading and writing.
Thank you for sharing this. The moments of precious balance between life and death are the moments we are closest to God (Goddess, Universe, what-have-you), if we are still and open. All the proselytizing in the world won’t get us there. *hugs*
Hi MB- I just wish that in those moments didn’t involve fear- I cannot bear the thought of anyone I love knowing that kind of fear.
A few years ago though- when we were losing my nephew and Wolfgang, I remember that on some days they did so well and we all enjoyed those moments- like it snowed a few times when Andy was in the hospital and because his disease had blinded him we were telling him what we saw- because I come from a family of natural born story tellers it was fun. We were laughing out loud in a ward full of terminally ill patients.
I know that sounds weird.
And there were days when Wolfgang was so weak he just wanted to sleep under his rosemary bushes outside and on other days he would meet me at the end of the driveway when I got home from work and we would walk-slowly but happily to the door together. Just like the old days.
Those memories are among my favorites.