One of my favorite toys in the entire world

was

and remains

the Slinky.

To this day I’m your fan of the basic

Silver Slinky.

NOT

 the  Slinky Jr., the Plastic Slinky or the Slinky Dog or even the  Slinky Pets- and surpise I didn’t even like the Crazy Eyes (glasses with Slinky-extended fake eyeballs) I never owned one of those Neon Slinkies though I found a few of them under my Christmas Tree from time to time.

See, for years I thought that one little toy meant I was your normal Suburban kid and not the little weirdo who got rocks thrown at her by her Blue Bird Troop because she didn’t bring Maple Squares on treat day.

And then, one day I decided to write about

The Slinky

and learned it’s inventor- Richard James- left his wife and ran off to Bolivia to join a religious cult.

You know, it’s true.

You can run as far as you want and when you’re done running

you’ll always end up

 right back in the place you were trying to get away from in the first place.