I don’t know want inspired this person to put David Tennant and Sid Vicious song
in a video mashup together…but it works.
Month: December 2008
On The First Day…
:::: A Twelve Day Journey To Christmas Day-
OR
Will Anita Marie Get Her Fiji Mermaid THIS Year?:::
Today
On Day One
I set out and discovered that you can’t get it all from The Mall
Today I asked my sister what her daughters wanted for Christmas.
One of my nieces wants Special Powers.
She wants to be able to understand what animals are saying.
I asked for a Fiji Mermaid – one of those awesome ones with fur and teeth.
I’ll bet my niece gets what she wants for Christmas this year.
On this first day I see my hopes for starting my own private Sideshow Museum slipping further away.
It’s Day One
and I am not feeling very Christmas’y’ right now.
There are 11 Days to go and that could change.
Right?
nothing says Merry Christmas like watching someone- or something smashing themselves in the head with a hammer
::from
a
Claymation Christmas::
A-Musing
Today my friend was whistling a tune as he walked by me.
He had this bounce in his step and I think he was even dancing a little.
He stopped turned looked at me and said:
” Oh Yes.
THAT was Tina Turner. “
I think Tina is his Grandma’s age.
But what the hey.
It’s a day wasted when you can’t think of at least one person can inspire you to whistle a tune.
Even if you can’t whistle well at all.
Sweet
WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES
Same Planet, Different Worlds…
Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary
Day 983 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or
some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless
must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear
the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to
the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to
my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The
dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be
more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now …
:::where I got this from-my husband-who probably thinks my cat wrote it::::
Alone Time
When I’m all alone
I sing.
I sing so bad my cats dive under the couches and purr- and I’m pretty sure they’re doing that because they’re scared out of their minds.
My dogs will stay with me but somewhere into the first song their eyes start to water and after I go into my third or fourth song they start chewing on their paws- at which point I stop because I’m afraid if I don’t stop they’ll chew their legs off or something.
So why do I do it?
Because it’s fun.
That’s why.
Sometimes You Just Do It To Yourself
I’m not a hard person to shop for at Christmas- I don’t care about stuff, I just like opening the packages and being surprised.
Which means that I’m really hard to shop for because people think that I won’t say what I want…and when I do give it up and say what I want those same people think I’m kidding so these are the things that I have asked for and have never, ever received and probably never will.
Knives.
I wanted a set of those fancy knives that all good Cooks have in their kitchens.
I’m actually a great cook and I’d have to be because I use one knife and it’s never been sharpened. So really I can work miracles in the kitchen.
In case you’re curious
I will probably never get a set of knives from anyone I know because I write about people getting their heads chopped off… A LOT…oh and I was a Mortician.
And I have a temper.
Next:
I have asked and asked and ASKED again for a
Fiji Mermaid.
Yes I AM serious.
I think they’re cool.
And after 35+ years of asking I haven’t seen a Monkey /Fish toy, model, picture or keychain under my Christmas tree.
I suppose I will never get a Fiji Mermaid because- geeze I don’t know, I guess it’s because when I’ve been asked, ” Are you serious? ” I just roll my eyes around and walk off.
Something with Two Heads.
Actually what I wanted was a Pickled Punk.
I wanted something in a jar that I could name Bixy or Lil’ Chunkles and all I know is that after years of begging I have an empty shelf in my room with no Jar…oh wait I do have one full of fake eyes that float in water but that doesn’t count because I bought it for myself.
I can’t explain the Pickled Punk no show under the tree situation. I guess there’s no way anybody in my family is going to go to a store and asked for something dead in a jar to give to someone at Christmas…even if that someone is me.
Well.
I can’t fault my nearest and dearest for not twisting Santa’s otherwise open and giving hand to give me the present of my dreams-
I did it to myself.
I just ask for weird stuff.
So.
This year I’m going traditional.
This year I’m asking for something old fashioned.
Okay.
Fingers crossed everyone
and
Merry Christmas!
This Is Just A Test
I figured if I posted this picture
no one would notice I didn’t write anything for the 8th.
Worked.
Didn’t it?
Fine. We’ll Go There.
a christmas rant from
The Bones
I was walking home from my bus stop yesterday when I noticed
the glaring lack of Christmas decorations on my street.
The next day I noticed
a glaring lack of Christmas decorations on a lot of houses beyond my street and I suppose that
there may not be
– to paraphrase Dickens-
much to make Merry about.
Eight of my friends have lost their jobs
my nephew lost his life
my patience is gone
my sense of humor is non-existent
and if I have to suffer through one more freaking commentary from
” Progressive Liberals” whining and bitching about how
disappointed they are in Obama’s Cabinet Appointments I am going to take my middle finger
and jab it into someones eye.
If you have a pulse and you have a job and there is the slightest ray of hope making it into your life may I suggest that you make the best out of what you have because the alternative to not having your life, a job and hope really, really sucks.
Now get the plastic Santa out of that box in your garage, pour yourself some eggnog and try to enjoy what you have.
It could all be over before you know what’s hit you.
a.m.m.
Your Call Is Holding On Line…
- Photo Credit: Library of Congress, Prints & Photographs Division, FSA-OWI Collection, [reproduction number, e.g., LC
For the past couple of days I’ve been receiving a lot of hits from a site called
Alpha Inventions.
I followed the traffic back to the referral because I’d never heard of Alpha Inventions and generally when I notice a surge from one specific link I do get curious and always go back and check it out.
What I found out is that A.I. is an experiment in connecting webmasters ( bloggers ) together’faster’. As opposed to being a ‘chatty’ site like Facebook or Myspace Alpha Inventions deals strictly with information .
Here’s brief description about how it works from the Alpha Inventions Blog:
To get more traffic from alphainventions.com just keep your blog updated . It’s so simple.
I would say that if I had to describe A.I. in simple terms it’s a bit like wandering through a bookstore or cruising through the footnotes in books ( which is something I like to do with pen and notebook in hand) for some new ideas to feed the old Grey Matter.
So give Alpha Inventions a visit if you’re interested in the new ways that people are finding to stay connected through the Internet and information sharing. And if you are just a writer like me you’ll be intrigued by the desire that people have in a Cyber Universe to find a life line as it were to stay connected to each other.
It’s so real world.
a.m.
Irregular Bones 