Top 10 Things that Sound Dirty at Christmas, But Aren’t

10. Did you get any under the tree?
 9. I think your balls are hanging too low.
 8. Check out Rudolph’s Honker!
 7. Santa’s sack is really bulging.
 6. Lift up the skirt so I can get a clean breath.
 5. Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?
 4. I love licking the end till it’s really sharp and pointy.
 3. From here you can’t tell if they’re artificial or real.
 2. Deleted by a.m.-yeah it was bad really bad.

1. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall.

Frequently Asked Questions About Christmas
Q: How can a sleigh possibly fly through the air?
A: If you were being pulled by eight flying reindeer, wouldn't you fly too?

Q: Why is a Christmas tree that has been chopped down called a "live
Christmas tree?"
A: It's dead but doesn't know it, and yet it's having the time of its life.

Q: How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
A: Nowadays, only four angels can dance there. Formerly there was no limit,
but OSHA passed the Angel Safety Law recently, which also requires that the
pin must be inspected twice each year for structural defects.


What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail  

Why is Prancer always wet?
Because he's a rain-deer




What do you call a reindeer wearing ear muffs? Anything you want because he can?t hear you!


What do reindeer always say before telling you a joke? This one will sleigh you!