:::: A Twelve Day Journey To Christmas Day-
OR
Will Anita Marie Get Her Fiji Mermaid THIS Year?:::
Today
On
Day 10
It all begins to make sense
Photo: Roadside America
Don’t ask me why, don’t ask me to explain the psychology behind it
but I get a lot of request for ghost stories during Christmas.
Here are a couple that’ I’m really glad I wrote because not only do they creep me out I think they’re really funny at the same time. And for what it’s worth- in my opinion- these stories could have only been written by someone who
has a Fiji Mermaid at the top of her Christmas Wish List
( it’s on the bottom too- oh- and in the middle and written in the margins as well )
So without further ado-
from my Vaults at
May I Present:
Once Upon A Nightmare
” Once I had a nightmare ” my friend Bonnie told me ” about this witch who tried to break into my house “
” Okay, ” I tell Bonnie thinking this sounds like a good story to kill that long bus ride home from Seattle ” so how did it go? “
“Well, in my dream I heard my dog crying and in my dream I woke up and went and looked out my bedroom window. “
” And your dog was…”
” Hanging from a tree. “
” Like Hell you say. “
” It’s true, so I tried to run down my hallway to help get her out of the tree but the floor was gone and all I saw where the floor should have been was this dark pit filled with people with snake’s eyes and they were talking to me in a language I couldn’t understand.”
” I really hate it when that happens…” Bonnie looks at me a little strangely and I say ” you know… in my dreams.”
” Well sure. So anyway I go back to my bedroom and crawl out my window and then I fall into my rose bushes. “
I turned that image over in my mind a few times..
Bonnie isn’t into breaking a sweat for any reason- she wouldn’t run wouldn’t run from Lizzie Borden swinging an ax to save her own life so I couldn’t begin to imagine her crawling out of a window.
I smiled and encouraged she went on.
” When I get outside there’s this woman standing by Tippy and she’s got her back turned towards me. As much as I want to help Tippy I don’t want her, whoever she is, to turn around.”
” No. ” I tell Bonnie. ” You certainly do not want that. It’s a psychology thing…”
” Yeah well, she doesn’t turn around. She just reached up and grabs Tippy by her neck and yanks down. “
” Damn. ” I say ” So what did you do?”
” I run back to my front door and just as I run through it, the door slams shut and I throw myself against it…and I can feel the knob turning in my hand and just before it opens I lock it.”
” Good for you. “
” It didn’t matter, because the door swung open and pushed me back and then the Witch came in with Tippy. She was dragging Tippy by the rope and then Tippy opened her eyes and- she wasn’t Tippy anymore.”
” What was she? “
” Dead.” Bonnie says sadly. ” And I started to cry and scream for Tippy not to leave me and then I woke up.”
” Look, it was only a dream right? I mean Tippy isn’t really dead and the Witch didn’t get you.”
Bonnie looks at me and I look at her and Bonnie asks me if I think she’ll have that awful nightmare again.
” Bonnie” I say as I pull a rope from out of my pocket ” you’re not awake yet.”
THE END
Really…that was
THE END
let’s pause here for a brief commercial break:
and now let’s continue on to:
Washington Street
On the corner of Washington Street, just down the street from where I get off the bus in the morning was the rusted ruined shell of a phone booth standing in the corner of a Parking Lot.
The glass was gone, the coin box was gone and the metal cord that connects the receiver to the phone was gone too.
All that was left intact was a phone book that had to be about 6 years old.
One day I saw someone who looked looked like my childhood friend standing in the booth with the receiver to his ear.
As I walked by he held it out to me and said,
” it’s for you. “
It’s not you- I thought to myself-
I haven’t seen you in years
not since the first day of work when my code that was supposed to open all of the doors
wouldn’t work and the Manager had to key his code in for me and he couldn’t stop aplogizing because not only could I not get into the work area I also couldn’t get into my office or to the room where we kept the keys for the cars or the supply room
and
when the door to the work area swung open there was my friend
laying on the cot.
My first best friend
was the first person I embalmed.
It’s not you
I thought to myself as I walked down the street.
And the man in the booth called out to me.
” They’ll try you again later.”
A week later the phone booth was gone – the city was about to start construction on a new building across the street- and that corner was now being used for the Job Sight Shack.
The New Building is up now
The Parking lot is back
and so is the phone booth.
I don’t walk on that side of the street anymore.
I can’t.
Irregular Bones 
