Exorcising Censorship

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My kids hate it when I tell this story- so of course I try to find a new venue for it at least once a year

amm

I have this hard and fast rule about books in my house- they’re there to be read. I’m not going to hide them or put them on a ‘tall shelf’ and keep them from ( as my sister-in-law use to call kids ) ‘ little people’.

Plus, it was going to be a challange to get one of my kids to read at all so I really went over board with letting them both know how special certain books were and if they were lucky I’d let them read some of mine one day.

When my sons were about 8 & 9 years old they were fascinated with my Stephen King collection- for some reason they wanted to know what was inside of those books.

Really, the reason wasn’t exactly a mystery.

See, when I got the chance to actually SIT and read I had this rule- if you bug me you’re going to get a blast from the Super-Soaker ( that’s a water gun and YES I made good on that threat ).

So of course not only did they want to know who this writer was- they wanted to get into the head of a person who could shut their Mom up for hours at a time.

I was sort of bossy and loud back in the day so frankly they were in awe of the power Mr King had over me.

Of course they weren’t ready to actually read King’s books so they did the next best thing.

They watched his movies.

When ” It ” was on TV- that was the Mini-Series based on the novel, my kids snuck out of bed, hid behind the couch and watched the show.

I had no idea they were doing that but when I started to hear references to the story turning up in dinner time conversation I pointed out this stuff was pretty scary and it might give them nightmares.

Of course it did- not that they would fess up to that.

They blamed it on ‘ stomach problems’.

Both of them hate clowns to this day.

Then one day it happened-  my 10 year old son got his hands on my  first edition copy of the ” The Exorcist ” and he and my youngest son snuck it into their room and read it.

The next morning I go to their room to get them up for school and there’s my copy of the Exorcist- on the floor just outside their bedroom door and sitting on top of it is one of my weights.

Of course this gets stranger- my kids are sleeping on their floor surrounded by  their stuffed animals and they’re both wearing their soccer uniforms and bicycle helmets.

They’ve got their plastic ” Ninja ” swords clutched in their hands and when I woke them up I said,

“Hey guys…get up for school- the power of Christ compels you.”

The sound those boys made when they started screaming…all I can say is that  after over 13 years when I think back on it… it’s still pretty  funny.

So did that teach my kids to not read things they’re told they SHOULDN’T read?

I’m glad to say the answer is no.

Sue

Today I found out my brother’s ex-girlfriend died.

She had a disease called Cerebellar Ataxia but what got her was pneumonia.

Her name is Sue and she and my brother have a son named Andy.

Andy has Cerebellar Ataxia too- he’s blind and can’t walk or control his facial muscles and it’s difficult for him to talk, he takes his food through a tube. He’s in his early 20’s and never learned to drive a car, he’s never traveled or had a girlfriend he loves the TV show “Friends”.

He’s in a nursing home.

That’s Andy’s life now- that’s what he grew up to do- to end up bedridden in a nursing home.

I really hate life today.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t intend to make the most of it- I intend to enjoy making every freaking damn second of it count.

For Andy and Sue.

What The World Needs

I’ve figured it out.

I know what would make the world a better place.

A more interesting place.

The world needs more Crab Jokes.

That’s what it needs.

a.m.

 

 

 

crabby humor from b3ta

That’s What I Said

 

Viagra was invented in the town of Merthyr Tydfil, Wales.

“Sphenopalatineganglioneuralgia” is a medical term for ailment known as “brain freeze.”

A recent study showed that as many as 16 million people alive today, about .5% of the population of Earth, are descendants of Genghis Khan.

I Consider the following to be HILARIOUS

Squirrel Wars

 “And lo, God named the Zodiac…”

May 19th

1780 – New England’s Dark Day: A combination of thick smoke and heavy cloud cover causes complete darkness to fall on Eastern Canada and the New England area of the United States at 10:30 A.M

1897 – Oscar Wilde is released from Reading Gaol.

1961 – Venera program: Venera 1 becomes the first man-made object to fly-by another planet by passing Venus (the probe had lost contact with Earth a month earlier and did not send back any data).

1990 – Anita Marie Godfrey and Luis Saul Moscoso were married in Seattle Washington 🙂