Month: August 2007

You Did Not Say That!

/ Anita Marie / 3 Comments

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I’ve kept a list of the questions that I’ve gotten into trouble for

asking

I thought I’d post them because today

was way to quiet

and

after the week I’ve had

I’m sort of missing the Legions of Hell snapping at my backside so….

! HERE THEY ARE !

What does it feel like to be a conjoined twin?

If your eye pops does it ooze out onto your face

or into your brain?

When a cannibal gets something stuck

in their teeth do they eat it

or spit it out?

Does a human kidney taste the same as a sheep’s kidney?

If you see a plunger at sewage treatment plant

should you be worried?

So

there they are…the little questions that have kept me out of the

better social circles.

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How Evil Am I?

/ Anita Marie / 19 Comments

YOU ARE 14% EVIL

!!!!DARN!!!!

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You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm.
Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!

How Evil Are You?

 

 

Bumbo 3 Preview and Debut

/ Anita Marie / Leave a comment

Just when I’d given up….

IT RETURNS!

( preview below )

 And just in case you need to catch up with us cool kids:

You can see the Bumbo Collection HERE

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God IS Funny

/ Anita Marie / 6 Comments

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Well Hello There!

You came by to go to Church with Anita?

Anita The I.B. Writer?

Are you kidding?

I thought she was banned…oh she prays on line.

I get it.

Well she’s not here,

Look, she left a note- you want to read it?

Yeah, she wrote it on the wall in purple crayon…she’s been in a mood this week.

Right…I know, I know it says ” God ” but she’s been looking at everyone and saying, ” God ” or ” Jesus Christ “- so you know I’m sure it’s okay.

 

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Dear God

I thought you might be dropping by for a Chat.

To be honest I haven’t even thought about

what made this long freaking week you cursed me with

a good one.

I know that I’m good for a laugh now and then God

but for once,

 I’d like somebody else to be the butt of your jokes.

Oh wait….you know…I guess you DID have some fun

with someone else…

like with these guys:

Rescuers head for stranded and disoriented deputies

By KOMO Staff

SKAMANIA COUNTY, Wash. — Seven of the ten county sheriff’s deputies who spent Saturday night stranded on Dog Mountain has been successfully rescued, according to the Skamania County Sheriff’s Office.

The men had become stranded on the rugged gorge terrain after becoming disoriented while pulling thousands of marijuana plants from a grow on the east side of Dog Creek, 10 miles east of Stevenson, Undersheriff David Cox said.

 

And really God did you think it was funny when that guy in Prosser got bit by the rattlesnake after he chopped it’s head off?

I mean, that’s just warped.

And then this guy says, “It still gives me the creeps to think that son-of-a-gun could do that,” he said.

I didn’t laugh at that God, but I’ll bet you did.

And then there was this story in our Local Paper

where the burning question was

” Should Your Spouse Go (to your highschool) Reunions “

and really God

the obvious answer is

“Only if they don’t want you to be going to their Funeral

in the upcoming weeks.”

Funny God

Har, Har, Har.

Okay God…it’s true Prayer is good for the Soul

I just figured out you didn’t spend all week picking on me.

So you might want to check your toothpaste God.

SOMEBODY may have replaced it with a tube of  hemroid cream

SORRY

I mean

See you next Sunday

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( if I don’t get turned into a pillar of salt before then )

AND

Amen

 

 

 

 

Reality Blows Along Lake Union

/ Anita Marie / 8 Comments

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Over the weekend there was this big secret event being staged at a public park ( which wasn’t going to be a Public Park for this event ) in Seattle, Washington and it was the talk of the town.

What was the secret?

A Wedding Party

A big Wedding Party for a big businessman and may he and his bride have a great life together but….

Geeze

A wedding party?

THAT WAS THE BIG FREAKING SECRET?

So to try and put some air back into that big wonderful mysterious balloon that floated over the Puget Sound over the weekend

I’ve decided to tell my own story about what happened at

Gasworks Park this weekend.

Enjoy:

 

From The Dark Waters of Lake Union

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 they arrived at the abandoned park  just before sundown

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members of the  Wedding Party

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and their Guests

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who were followed in by the Bride and Groom

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You wish them well…DON’T YOU?

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Wouldn’t that have been a story to have read about? I think so.

Oh well.

Maybe next time…..

HUMANS NEED NOT ATTEND

/ Anita Marie / 4 Comments

Planners prep for mysterious party at Gas Works Park

Story Updated: Aug 10, 2007 at 8:20 PM PDT

By KOMO Staff

SEATTLE – A mysterious party planned for Saturday at Gas Works Park is the talk of the town.

Gas Works neighbors have been watching 60 planners transform the park for the expected 300 guests, and the question on everyone’s mind: who’s throwing the party?

GO ON TAKE A GUESS…

 

HERE ARE SOME OF MINE:

 

PINHEAD

FROM THE HELLRAISER MOVIES

 

PINHEAD

FROM THE HELLRAISER MOVIES

 

PINHEAD FROM THE HELLRAISER MOVIES

AND WON’T EVERYONE BE SURPRISED

 

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Irregular Notes From An Irregular Mind

/ Anita Marie / 4 Comments

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I have a great collection of post it notes that I keep in my journal (it’s made of paper and I actually WRITE in it). Some of them are funny, some are warped, and some could get me sued so I thought I’d share them here.

amm

To be attached to a flaming arrow and air mailed to that guy:

Your dog doesn’t hate black people, you do. Quit saying that.

 I mean it.

However, my Cat DOES hates you and if you keep trying to pet him he’s going to chew your fingers off and then how will you be able to give the finger to that nice Mexican family that everyone likes except for you?

Think about it

Notes to my friends:

YES YES YES the story about the woman who committed suicide around Halloween of 2005 by hanging herself at the side of the road and was mistaken for a Halloween decoration is true.

Stop asking me if when I die I want to be mistaken for a Halloween Decoration too- you warped little monkeys.

You all better hope there really is nothing to the art of Zombification because I have a candidate list all drawn up and here it is….

Ha.

As if.

In regards to my hometown:

It’s true, if you google Mountlake Terrace and look through the pictures of my fair town you’ll find this picture mixed in with pictures of churches and trees and houses for sale and a baby in a flowerbed.

Figures.

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                             Parasitic Mite on Earwig Pincher –

Next Up…I’ll do a post about the calls that get left on my answering machine.

You’re going to love it.

amm

Sigh No More

/ Anita Marie / 6 Comments

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I know this person who has lied and deceived, mislead and shamelessy used people to get what they wanted.

  They chased good people away from important casues because they didn’t want to be moved from the spotlight.  

Today I found out this person is dieing.  

 The problem is, this person has lied about their illness before so that they could get what they wanted.

No kidding.  

 I’m not sure how to feel, or how to act.

 I guess

 I’ll have to wait and see if and when the funeral is going to be held.

   I won’t be going to it though.  

 Right now I know exactly what the expression

 ” Lower then a snake’s belly “

means

 because that’s how I feel right now.

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Biting The Dog

/ Anita Marie / 15 Comments

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I have this rule about Fridays- I don’t take any crud with me from the week into the weekend or the bright shiny new week that starts on Monday.

Except for this time.

There were little things and big things that were done to my friends and family that- you know -I do believe I’ll deal with.

What changed you may be wondering.

I can’t ignore the fact that there are some things that people say or do 

that have to be answered for and accounted for.

So why I have made an exception

this time?

Because now I’m a writer with BIG imagination.

See Ya.

amm

To thine own self be true

/ Anita Marie / 4 Comments


You Are 68% Open Minded
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You are a very open minded person, but you’re also well grounded.
Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.
But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.
You’re open to considering every possibility – but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?