It’s Sunday, this is the day Good People go to Church and talk to God.

I’m not a ” Good People ” so I have to talk to God from my house. This is a good thing in case he gets it in his head to throw a few lightning bolts around when I start talking- at least nobody else will get hurt ( oh sure…like none of you have ever kissed some backside to get ahead ) except for me.

And right now I’m on my way to Hell on the express train so pardon me while I make right with God:

Hi God

I don’t know if you were serious when you put this stuff in your ‘grand plan’ but I figure either the world is about to end or you’re hitting the bottle ( again )

 Zsa Zsa’s Husband was found naked in a car, God it hurts my brain to think of this guy I have to let that one go…and that actress who blamed ” That Black Kid ”  for getting into trouble with the police- she a total flake God and if you could turn her into a pillar of salt I’d be ever so grateful- as would be the rest of the world. 

Oh and this: 

SEATTLE (AP) – In an interview early this year, Pierce County Prosecutor Gerry Horne called Washington state’s death penalty law a “farce” and suggested it is so ineffective that the Legislature should consider getting rid of it. (story here)

This is the definition of a farce: A light dramatic work in which highly improbable plot situations, exaggerated characters, and often slapstick elements are used for humorous effect.

I don’t think lethal injections or hanging is a farce- I find a lot of things funny but Capital Punishment isn’t one of them.

Ha, that one shorted out your brain too, didn’t it?

I love Science- and when I was a kid I wanted to pilot a space ship. Now I wished I’d stuck with that God because did you know that there’s something called the ” Bottle To Throttle ” Rule at NASA?

No Kidding…in fact it gets even stranger:

Someone working for NASA sabatoged a computer. A Shuttle Astronaut was accused of trying to off a romantic rival and this guy named Himmel, (who retired in 1981 as associate director for what is now Glenn Research Center in Cleveland) said, ” “There’s no perfect system.” ( in regards to Policy at NASA )

I don’t know about you God, but hearing that made me think of the time I rode a roller coaster and my safety belt snapped open and wouldn’t lock- remember that?

It was mid way through the ride and I had to tie my belt closed.

Anyway I’d have tried like hell to get a job with NASA just so I could have front row seats to that freak show.

Well God, as you can see it’s a weird world you made, but it’s funny so I’ll give you points for that.

And if you could help me score another one of those great Egg Rolls like the one I had last year- I’d be a really good person for the rest of my life.

Okay, that’s it for now.

Jesus, I did it wrong again..

I MEAN

See you next Sunday

No- that’s not right either.

 How do you end this thing?

Oh yeah….here we go:

AMEN.