nota bene

 

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Instead of saying

” I could just kill someone right now “

in the hopes people will understand how angry you are

Threaten to turn the Monkeys loose.

People are afraid of Monkeys

and they’re terrified of Flying Monkeys.

They’ll get the point.

Really.

 

This has been an I.B. PSA

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19 thoughts on “nota bene

  1. i am not as afraid of a monkey as a whole, but i am afraid of their little monkey hands. there is just something about those little fingers that make me want to cry a little bit while i make that sound that you make after you rub your fork tips across your dinner plate.

    i don’t cry often and i admit to doing it less than that, i just want to truly depict the extent of my monkey hand creepoutism.

    that’s kinda weird considering that i am not afraid of baby hands, people with small hands, or little people hands.

    i would imagine that small monkey hands could come in handy (NPI) in certain predicaments. like when you drop your debit card between your car seat and center console. or when you need to reach through a chain link fence to get a ball that was tossed over by mistake. or collecting change from regular handed people and then tipping you small hat.

    perhaps i need to spend a bit more time appreciating monkeys and accepting their little hands into my life as a blessing…

    …not

  2. Charles,
    Monkey Hands- you are SO brilliant.

    Let’s try it:

    ” Back off or I get the Monkey hands…you know THE LITTLE ONES ”

    I’m making an editorial call
    You are Commentor of the Month
    sorry you’ve only got a week to enjoy it.

    amm
    ps thanks for stopping by again!

  3. too funny….the hispanics at work taught me the phrase chango’s de refineria to torment the hispanics in the refinery…now chono is like THE word at the plant…we do chango everything, except flying chango’s..tomorrow’s new spanish word shall be “flying”

    thanks anita

  4. My wife is from Puerto Rico.
    She is 5’1″ and not much bigger than 100 pounds
    She gave birth to our two children.
    Not one stretchmark.

    I call her the “Elasto-Rican”

    charlie

  5. lol…you’ll like this…a lot of the hillbillies speak no spanish (me either, btw…only what these guys are teaching me.) so when they get all confused when the spanish speakers are talking i “translate” for them. I tell the hicks they said stuff like ” that hillbillies wife has a nice ass”…it is so fun…

  6. Hey Charlie and Criminy,
    While we’re on the subject of er, our ‘living language’ I’ve got another one-

    My sister was telling her daughter that she was half Filipina and my niece ( who was three at the time ) got upset and said, ” I am NOT a Jalapino! ”

    And one year I was at this holiday party where nobody spoke English as a first language ( okay, I have since I was 5…so my I’m sort of in that group ) and we decided that for the evening we would all speak with a Southern Accent.

    Oh the humanity.
    But it was fun.
    amm

  7. Hi Criminy!

    Wait…I have an answer for that, my Uncle who is from Texas told me to say ” People from the South don’t have accents…everyone else does.”

    šŸ™‚

    amm

  8. I’m off to bed.

    I have blocked off my bedroom door with banana flavored fly paper. I hope this is enough of a deterrent to keep those tiny little monkey hands busy. After all of this talk, I can be sure that they are waiting to haunt my dreams.

    Curse you monkeys! Curse you and your tiny little hands!

    Please protect me, 6 pound, 8 oz, little baby Jesus!

  9. Get out!
    I tell you, it’s a small world- so will we be seeing a post about ” Mound Hill ” soon and how you made it famous?
    Cause- I can find out.
    I know people
    Ha.
    amm

  10. Charlie…
    I don’t know about you, but I’ll be thinking about Baby Jesus and those Tiny Little Monkey Hands all night long.

    Probably I’ll have a nightmare too.

    You’re a Champ.

    amm

  11. I’ll be happy to tell you the story sometime. I can’t believe you know someone in Elk mound. This isn’t on the order of finding a needle in a hay stack, this is more like finding a bb in the universe. That is one microscopic town girlie. When I lived there you could only get beer at the baitshop outside of town. Nobody had a liquor license. 1 store…an IGA

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