I hadn’t been to a funeral or in a cemetery for over 6 years- that’s how long it had been since I’d left my job at the Funeral home. I hadn’t thought about that until the night my friend called. 

Death and I were no longer in a relationship.

“My Mom is in Hospice now. She’s dieing Anita, so you’ll want to come in and say good bye.”

I did want to say good-bye, so I went and when I get to the hospice it’s all pink and quiet and there was a Dominos Pizza Delivery car parked out front.

I sat out in my car for a minute and got myself ready.

I took off my makeup (in case I started to cry) and I pulled my hair back and braided it.

I’m not a Mortician anymore, I told myself. I don’t have to deal with Death the way I used to. When someone has died or they’re dieing I can cry or get angry or shut down but I don’t have to separate myself from the moment.

In a way I was meeting Death again for the first time.

That scared me more then seeing my friend’s dieing Mother.

I got out of the Car and went into the Hospice and checked in and found my friend’s Mom.

Her room was full of people and there she was in the bed and I could see that a machine was breathing for her and it occurred to me that once people had said good bye- well, that’s what we were here for.

I went over to the bed and took her hand; I wasn’t a Mortician anymore- I kept telling myself. Death and me have gone our separate ways.

I could feel my friend looking at me from the other side of the bed and when I looked up she said to me, ” She knows we’re here for her Anita.”

I felt her hand and I looked down at the bed and I felt my face arrange itself on it’s own just like in the old days.

My face, quiet, dignified and still.Death’s face was down there looking back up at me quiet, dignified and still and I said, ” I’m here.”

I looked back up at my friend and she was smiling. ” She knows.”

I nodded and sat down and held that familiar hand and talked to my friend until her husband and kids arrived.

I stayed for as long as I could after that and on my way out my phone rang.

 It was my husband.” How much longer does she have? ” he asked.

” Just a Sec. ” I mumbled into the phone and then I went outside looked around and said, ” She’s gone.”

I got back into my car, brushed my hair out and went home.

It took me a long time to fall asleep that night.