Day: June 19, 2007

‘Cause God Says So…that’s WHY

/ Anita Marie / 10 Comments

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A few weeks ago I wrote a story about a Road Rage Incident I witnessed on the way home from work. The thing of it is, there are so many of these stories going around now that it caught someone’s attention.

Whose?

God’s- that’s who.

Look, I don’t know why God got on this one. I figure  God must have had one of those ” I’m in the mood to flood the world but I promised not to do that again days “ and  decided to go for the Road Ragers instead ( GO GOD! ) through the Vatican 

So here they are – from God’s lips to your ears-

The “Drivers’ Ten Commandments,” as listed by the document, are:

1. You shall not kill.

( check )

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

( No more Drive By Killings, I like that one )

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

(Like talking your way out of tickets- right?)

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

(Okay, there’s nothing wrong with aiming high God but I wouldn’t keep my fingers crossed they might cramp after awhile)

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

(THAT MEANS NO MORE CRUISIN’ FOR NOOKIE!)

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

( HEY QUEEN OF THE DUI’S THAT’S YOU PARIS HILTON- PASS THIS ON TO YOUR FRIENDS)

7. Support the families of accident victims.

( Check, I like that one )

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

( whoa…I just flashed on scenes from the Jerry Springer show- don’t know about this one )

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

( Good one God, you’re on a roll here )

10. Feel responsible toward others.

( You’re talking to Reality Show Junkies out there God, they’re all about kicking people off

The Island- but I’ll give it a shot )

RIP Good Manners You Won’t Be Missed

/ Anita Marie / 2 Comments

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So I’m waiting for my bus, eating my Cheetos (thank goodness Cheetos cover at least two of the major food groups because the only other thing I had to eat today were a handful of Hershey Kisses and even a dedicated junk food junkie like me who is in serious need of intervention could pretend that was real food) when one of the buses pulls up and this blind lady with her seeing eye dog goes to get on.

I play this game when I see her board her bus; it’s called ” How many rude jerks are on the bus today? “Today there were six and this is how I figure it out.

The front bench seats on the buses are marked for handicapped people right?

Well this lady and her dog get on and nobody gets off their butts to give her the seat- and they should for one practical reason. She can’t really  sit in the two passenger seat unless she sits her big dog on her lap. That won’t work so he has to sit in the narrow aisle where he can’t help but to be in the way.

Considering the Milk of Human Kindness doesn’t flow around these parts you can only imagine the huffing and puffing and sounds of indignation this woman has to listen to as people have to make their way around her dog.

Anyway, sitting on the bench seats are teenagers and people with lap top computers and a couple of women who purposely look in the other direction as she walks by (hey, she can’t see you but everyone else CAN)

 I see her walking towards the back of the bus where the other bench seats are and to the front again and then…

she gets off the bus.

Wow.

I’m not sure if there’s a Hell – but today I’m really, really , really hoping there is.