Month: June 2007

How’s The View Down There?

/ Anita Marie / 2 Comments

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ALIEN IDEAS FROM AN ALIEN MIND

How come in Politics we just love to say that we’re standing shoulder to shoulder or side by side and if you think about it if you’re in Politics you spend most of your time on your knees.

It’s all very basic.

Somebody somewhere is always trying to stick it to somebody else and if they’re not actually sticking it, they’re thinking about doing it and if they don’t have the time they’ll send someone else in to do it for them.

If it sounds nasty it is- when you’re playing games somebody has to win  and someone has to lose and that’s what Politics is about.

Winning

We’re not talking about being right or just or fair. It’s not about ” giving voice” or ‘representing a village’.

It’s all about winning

 The thing of it is that once you get a win you have to keep winning no matter who you have to screw or betray or belittle.

That’s how the game is played- that is the rule…win.

Win all of the time.

Kitty left a comment on an earlier post and she said I seemed fearless.

I guess after you’ve worked with the dead and you’ve watched one human being totally wreck another human being just so they could prove they could- after all of that – there isn’t anything to be afraid of anymore.

I wonder if it’s true, if you have nothing to lose you’re dangerous.

I’m not sure, but I think I’m starting to understand that saying.

So I guess that means I win.

This time.

amm

It’s Aloha Friday!

/ Anita Marie / 4 Comments

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Guess what I’m going to do this weekend?

I’m gonna Go To Hell ,

Slaughter some Demons 

and Deal with the Devil

Then when I’m done doing my Political Work

I’m going to write some of my Macabre stories and work on my book.

Come On People

It’s Aloha Friday….

have some FUN

 

 

An I.B. Public Service Announcement

/ Anita Marie / Leave a comment

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These were my top three stories on this blog for the month of June:

#1

 My Bruce Campbell Tribute– okay makes sense- the concensus around I.B. is that  Bruce is Cool.

#2

A story I wrote about me and how when I was a kid I planned to have pet wolves and fly spaceships when I grew up- okay that was amusing read, especially if you’ve been drinking.

#3

And then there was this one.. Exploding Birds– guys explain that one to me… Exploding Birds.

Gee Whiz.

So

Here’s A Little Something

for

the few of you

who been enjoying yourselves

an awful lot

in the comment section

and

with those Exploding Birds

 

amm

A Universe In Five Minutes

/ Anita Marie / 6 Comments

Do you realize you can live a life time in Five Minutes?

Random thoughts are like that.

Here are a few of mine:

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Once I went to a Funeral where there was a lot of snickering going on around me

and to this day I still don’t know what was so funny.

But I’ve spent time wondering about it.

 

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Wouldn’t it be cool if Frankenstein was real?

I’ll bet he’d be a Plastic Surgeon.

I wonder what would happen if

 he had a nervous breakdown one day at work?

 

 

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I’m going to start a movement

I’m going to start a Movie Boycott

I’m going to tell people not

to go to the movies.

I’m going to tell them

to buy DVD’s instead.

USED

ones.

You should all be supporting Independant Films Anyway.

 

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If I could choose the next

President Of The United States

I’d choose

Pinhead

from

the

Hellraiser Movies

Too Bad he’s not real.

I’d do it….I really would.

 

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In Five Minutes I Built A Universe.

Awesome.

amm

Our Lady Of The Cheap Shots

/ Anita Marie / 9 Comments

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I know this woman who pulls this stunt at business meetings: she stays seated and talks real soft so that people have to lean over or kneel at her side so that they can hear what she says.

It’s a stupid trick and people fall for it all the time.

I stand a few feet away so that she has

to look up when she talks to me.

She hates my guts.

I think that’s a good thing in this case.

Max’s Exploding Pigeons

/ Anita Marie / 11 Comments

Max 

You  Have One Message.

Hit Play to Listen

(and you don’t get to erase it because my blog is tamper proof)

I was smart

– I bought it at S-Mart.

Hey Anita, Have You Heard The One About…

/ Anita Marie / 24 Comments

I’m always getting links to stories that people think I will find ” amusing ” and sometimes people just write me and say, point blank, without the pretense of asking what I think about something they found on the net

 ” I’ve just  heard something really weird Anita, is it true? “

Here are a few of those stories and questions and my answers

amm

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POSSESSION AND EXORCISM

According to their objective this site is: 

A web page that (could) offers itself as a meeting place for exorcists and which could present professional doctors with a place for discussion and information exchange about the theme.

They also go on to say :

If you believe you are suffering from some kind of extraordinary demonic phenomenon, you should get in touch with the bishop’s office of the diocese you belong to. They will put you in contact with the specialist in this matter for the diocese, or they will indicate the nearest specialist in a neighboring diocese.

So what do I think?

If you believe in an Immortal Soul and you think it’s in danger I don’t think I’d trust GOOGLE to help me find a way to protect it- that’s what I think.

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Did Vikings Discover America before Columbus?

I call these stories The Redneck’s Wet Dream- look the Native Americans discovered America deal with it already. I don’t know why I keep getting these- maybe it’s because I’ve openly supported people who believe in UFO’s.

SOME people may think I’m a pushover for a good story.

But this Viking Vs Columbus story?

I’ve heard better.

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Urban Legends–

I get a billion of these a month- mainly from people who want to know what the history is behind certain stories.

I get this one a lot- I figure it’s because I’m Filipina:

You shouldn’t Throw rice at weddings because when birds eat it it swells in their stomachs and causes hemorrhaging. This is why people started using birdseed instead.

Unless those birds have stomachs that are full of boiling water I’d say it’s safe for them to eat uncooked rice….jeeze you guys.

Use a little common sense sometimes-

NB DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND I HAVE PROVIDED THIS

CLICK HERE

EVIDENCE IN THE EXPLODING PIGEONS DEBATE

 

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Is it true that after you die your hair and nails continue to grow?

The thing of it is when you die- and I mean the minute it happens -your body begins the process of decomposing.

So nothing is going to grow.

Sorry.

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If I get a billion questions about Urban Legends then I must get a billion and one questions about ” Real Vampires “ .

As in, are they for real?

I think that some people really do believe they’re Vampires and if that’s the case I’m willing to accept that- but that entire mindset escapes me.

If I could choose to be any sort of ‘super being’ I’d want to be Iman.

 

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So there you have it, these are the bits of reality

that people share with me

every single day.

Pretty nifty, isn’t it?

amm

I Get It Already

/ Anita Marie / 26 Comments

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I wrote a story about being an ‘outsider’.

It upset people- it made them feel bad – they didn’t like going back to a time that really and truly sucked.

So I asked two of my friends who were ‘insiders’ what it was like for them ‘back then’.

It sounded good- their memories  came across  like a Nick at Night Classic Episodes Marathon with no (I’m sorry to say) Talking Horses or Martians.

Then we get around to talking about now and I heard a lot of stories about tuition costs and cars and loans and house payments and gee we took a vacation but when we got back this thing was waiting at the office…and part way through this visit to the Adult World my head started to hurt.

“Wow” I thought, “you sound like a commercial where you’re invited to ask your Doctor about this new anti-depressant”  Anyway I felt like doing just that after they got done talking.

Of course these blood rituals work both ways so we go into what I’ve been up too and I say:” My kids got good jobs and moved out, I’m writing a book, I’ve been writing short stories, my husband and I are Civil Rights Activists so we’re really busy with that and for a couple of weeks now I’ve been having a Gummy Bear Porn War going on with a Writer in California.”

I took a deep breath and dove in again “I’ve also made this really cool discovery- I’ve discovered that if I do stories about Bruce Campbell people will read them. In fact, I went back and found out that his story took more traffic then the Paris Hilton story that I did…  I think it’s because he’s truly talented.That’s about it”

So my two friends, (yes,  I was and still am friends with some “Shiny People“) looked at each other and then at me and asked-

 “So Anita, what else is going on with you?”

Seattle Would Have Been Sleepless…

/ Anita Marie / 2 Comments

This  version  of ” Sleepless In Seattle ” would have made me proud to be from Seattle- ( sob ) where have all the good ideas gone?

amm